Ganymede
by Shadow Dancer666
Summary: Is there something wrong with love? This is a tale of finding love in all kinds of ways and places, be it considered normal or taboo. Be sure to read the warning at the beginning of the chapter. Pairing: LxMello, LightxMisa, LightxMikami, and others...
1. Act one: Searching

**Warning: This is NOT for the faint of heart or those who are easily offended. This story will deal with some tough things and I have crossed quite a few lines. Still, I hope you will not be scared to give this story a shot and I can guarantee that you will not be let down. XD Throughout the story there will be pedophilia, bondage, S&M, drugs, plenty of smut, and hopefully a hell of a lot to think about. Also note that most characters are out of character in some ways so that they better fit the story being told.  
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**Now, this story was the result of reading straight through Her Sweetness's Pais Philos and Nekros Philos. Both of those stories are highly provocative and again not for those with a weak stomach.**

**Personally, I very much enjoyed writing this story and I hope that you all will enjoy reading it. **

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* * *

**Swallowing hard, the older man forced his legs to keep working. His breath threatened to catch and his heart was pounding dangerously fast. Still, he kept his mask up, he kept his eyes blank, and most importantly, he kept his sex organ flaccid.

It would be impossible for a normal person to understand, and L had already come to terms with that. He didn't want to talk to people anymore; he didn't want them to try and convince him that he was a monster, that he was a freak who deserved to be locked up forever. No, all he wanted was to live a long happy live, free from all those judging people, from all those sickening stares.

He had been diagnosed with a form of Paraphillias, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, a schizoid personality disorder, anorexia, and a number of other mental disorders. Bull shit, all of it. How could those doctors insist that he was sick and twisted? He was born this way, and none of it could be helped. Who were they to judge him, to tell him that he was a mistake? If they believed in a god, how could they point at him as a kink in the divine plan? Their so called "all powerful" deity was a failure if he let someone as twisted as L come to this earth; at least, that's what he reasoned. Chewing his thumb nervously, L paced in front of the orphanage where he had grown up. Wammy's House: a place for gifted orphans to call home, to grow, and to learn. He had been one of the few children who had never been adopted, but he didn't mind. Quillsh Wammy never made him get on any medications if he didn't want to.

"L, is that you?" a familiar voice called out in the crisp autumn air.

Shooting his head up, L saw a familiar old chap with grocery bags in his arms. Roger looked like he hadn't aged one bit in all those years. A smile came to the young man's face even though he remembered Roger mostly for all the times he had to be disciplined.

"Hello, Roger. Still the disciplinarian?"

Roger laughed and gratefully accepted L's offer to help carry some of the bags inside. He knew that L needed to do something with his hands. "Yes, of course. This place has never had a better disciplinarian."

"They've never had another disciplinarian," L shot back light-heartedly.

"Yeah, well, this isn't that old of an orphanage," Roger mumbled in his defense. "Anyway, how have you been doing out in the real world?"

L tensed for a little bit before forcing his body back into a state of relaxation. "I've been doing well! Um, I've made a friend with a mystery novelist that you might have heard of; his name is Light Yagami."

"_The_ Light Yagami?" Roger gasped in surprise as the two of them made their way to the kitchen. Little children ran around them and L almost passed out from excitement. Still, he kept an iron grip on his self-control.

"Ah, yes. I've even been working on helping him with his newest novel. It's been fun."

"That's great," Roger said warmly. "I'm sure that Quillsh will love to see that you're improving."

"Not only that, but I've decided to get a proper job too. You know, to show those d-doctors that they were wrong."

A knowing smile crossed the old man's lips as he patted L's shoulder. "You don't have to push yourself, Lawliet, so don't worry about what other people say. Now, tell me about this job of yours."

"Well, other than helping Light with his writing, I've taken up painting. All of my works have been selling extremely well, so I've decided that perhaps a creative career will be my best bet at this point in time." L knew that being an artist wasn't really a "proper job" but it was better than anything those idiot doctors expected out of him. "I can also keep a private life this way," he added softly. "My agent is the only one I have to deal with."

Roger couldn't help but laugh. "Well, painting for a living is a risky business, but if you're doing well, work at it until you get bored. Any job is better than none."

"Yes," L sighed as he listened to the sound of pattering footsteps.

"So, did you come here for a specific reason? Or did you just come to chat up with old bags like me?"

L chuckled. Now that he was too old to be spanked by Roger, the old man didn't seem so menacing and evil; he seemed quite amiable. "Actually, I did come for a reason." Nervously clenching the edge of his shirt, he forced himself to speak slowly and calmly. "I came to see if Quillsh would allow me to repay all those years of his kindness by adopting one of the children here."

Although it was almost imperceptible, L saw Roger's cheery face fall a little. He was staring at the young man in a more calculating manner, as if measuring up the words that had been spoken. "You want to adopt a child?"

"Yes; even though I'm single, I have more than enough income to support a child. Besides, this is just another thing that I want to do to sh-show those doc-doctors up." Damn it, he still couldn't talk easily about those horrid doctors. "I've been taking care of myself and I even started taking a couple of medications, so I believe that I'm as close to normal as I'll ever get." He laughed light-heartedly at the last sentence, hoping to lighten the mood some. If he could get Roger to vouch for him, then adopting would be no problem.

"You've been taking medication?" Roger asked in surprise. "But you were so against those."

L couldn't help the twitch of his right eye. "Well, you can't blame me; after all, look at what medication did to my half-brother. Still, I found a trust-worthy doctor and I've given in to taking some medications. Not many, mind you."

"Ah, Beyond. How has he been doing?" the caretaker asked as he began putting the groceries away. His wrinkled hands were flushing red from the heat returning to them.

"Well…not much has changed since he was forced into the institution," L forced out with a fake smile. "They've had to add a muzzle, but whenever I visit, they let him take it off. Sometimes, if he behaves, they'll even take his straightjacket off around me." This conversation was disgusting him, but L knew that it was all necessary. He had to show everyone how normal he was.

"Poor boy. Is he happy?"

The urge to slap the clueless man was almost overwhelming, but he just dug his fingernails deeper into his palms. Who the hell would be happy in a place that kept you in a padded room with a tight straightjacket and a damn muzzle? "Yes, it's much better than the last place."

Prison went unsaid.

"That's good," Roger mumbled. He worked quietly for a few minutes until he finished putting up all of the food. Once that task was done, he straightened up with a groan and looked back at the dark-haired child. Well, at least L was still a child in his mind. "All righty, do you feel up to talking to Quillsh?"

"Yes!" L replied a little too quickly. Breathe, he had to calm down.

As they slowly made their way to the founder's office, a movlov cocktail of emotions bubbled within his stomach. There was the constant yearning, the physical need to sate his desires, the need to straighten up the messy orphanage, the urge to run away screaming, and an onslaught of even more shit that he didn't want to think about.

Climbing up the beautiful oak staircase, something caught L's attention. Looking over the banister, L felt his knees go weak and all of his breath was swept away. Soft gold hair fluttered delicately around a sharp face, thin pale fingers brushing the stray strands back. Milky skin, teasingly hidden beneath simple black clothing and those sinfully perfect bare feet gracing the ancient wooden panels of the floor with contact. And then, those eyes looked up, and L could no longer feel any connection to the earth he stood upon. Turquoise, those eyes were the most brilliant shade of turquoise. No gem could ever compare to the glittering life in those eyes, to the vibrant hues reflected in those perfectly shaped irises. Those pink lips parted ever so slightly as the child tilted his head questioningly and L almost submitted to a mind-blowing orgasm. However, Roger's voice jerked him back into the reality that he had been carefully building.

"Are you ok? The office is this way."

"Oh y-yes," L stammered as he watched the young boy bound away like a confident gazelle. "Sorry, I was just reminiscing about the old days."

"Ah, of course. Follow me, please."

Looking back one last time at the retreating figure, L forced himself to walk into that office with his head held high. Mentally, he was thankful that the combinations of his baggy pants and his size-too-small underwear kept his desires unknown to the world.

/_/_/_/

"So, how did it go?" the silky smooth voice asked as caramel eyes roamed over the hunched figure.

"Uh, well I think," L mumbled as he sipped on his tea. "I made sure to keep myself under strict control, Light."

"That's good," the Japanese sighed as he sipped on some warm sake.

He crossed his long shapely legs, the creak of the PVC thigh-high boots making L smile. The sight before his large onyx eyes was vulgar and yet so comforting. The famous author's skimpy black outfit clung to his perfect body, the lace-up straps squeezing his supple skin. A genuine-leather crop was held delicately in his left hand, swaying softly like a conductor's baton and stroking his washboard stomach teasingly. A light sultry moan came from a young blonde woman who was strung up behind Light's couch. There was a gag stretching out her painted lips and her nude body was wrapped in skillfully manipulated hemp rope. Both legs were spread open and a thick pink dildo vibrated quietly, driving the slave crazy. However, L knew that she was enjoying every torturous minute.

"Don't worry about Misa," Light scoffed as he followed L's gaze. He barely spared her swaying form a glance.

"No, I wasn't worrying over her," L mumbled, bringing his thumb to his mouth. "I just…"

"You want someone to love," the Asian man finished with a knowing smile. L just nodded as he subconsciously gnawed on his thumb. "Well, you won't have to wait much longer," he continued as he set his glass down. "They'll let you adopt soon enough."

Hearing those words, L's mind drifted back to Wammy's House, to that blonde. Each second of their fateful meeting was seared into the pained man's brain, and he relished in playing it over and over. Delicate curves of the firm muscles, smooth skin, perfect bone structure…

"Oh? Is there someone on your mind?" Light asked excitedly. It was like the two of them were middle school girls sharing some gossip in their locked room.

L blushed and nodded. "I saw someone," he muttered breathlessly. It was nearly impossible to speak of that boy. "H-he, oh _fuck_, he was perfect."

Giggling, Light leaned back and snapped the gloved fingers of his right hand. "You don't have to be embarrassed about your hard-on, Loli," he teased, using L's pet name. Loli, a painfully obvious play on Lolita. At that moment, a lovely figure crawled over to the god-like man, showing the proper respect with the hopes of being rewarded.

"I don't feel embarrassed anymore," L replied slowly, carefully choosing his words. "I've come to terms with who I am, with what I am. The only concern I have is that…I don't want to hurt anyone."

Stroking his groveling slave's hair, the brunette shook his head. "Children are impressionable, Loli. That's what makes them less of a challenge than dominating adults." As if to make a point, he jerked his slave's head up and slapped him across the face.

"Thank you, Master," the man whispered, a smile spread across his bruised face.

"You're welcome, Mikami. Now, go fetch my laptop for me." Once the man crawled away obediently, Light stood up and strutted sensually across the room to take a seat next to his friend. "As I was saying, children are impressionable. Treat them nicely, give them treats, and they'll be begging you to fuck them raw. It's all a psychological game, Loli, and there is no doubt in my mind that you will succeed."

A slight pang of guilt made L bite his thumb harshly enough to draw blood. "I want him to love me back, you know. It's not like I just want the physical part of it."

"Yes, you and your romantic fantasies," Light giggled, pulling L into a patronizing hug. "There, there, Loli, one of these days you'll come back to reality and I'll be right here to protect you."

"Damn you and your narcissism," L grumbled as he reluctantly allowed himself to be hugged.

Once Mikami arrived with the laptop, Light released his friend and opened up the surveillance videos of his property. Being a control freak of the highest order, Light needed to know what was going on at all times, so he had cameras installed all around his home. On top of that, he knew that his being famous made it highly possible that he would get stalkers. As a matter of fact, Mikami used to be one before Light beat him into willful submission. Still, Light didn't want his starling reputation to be marred. The public wouldn't take too kindly to his psychological disorders or his sexually deviant nightlife, so he tended to be a bit on the paranoid side.

"Was this car parked there when you came in?" he asked L.

L peeked over his bare shoulder before replying. "No, it was not."

"Um, ok, I'm drifting!" Light announced unhappily. "Loli, you need to tell me what this dream boy of yours looks like, I demand it!"

A silly grin spread across his face as he once more brought those memories forward. Yes, he wouldn't mind telling Light all about that little darling.

/_/_/_/

The neighbor was crying again. Her husband was still cheating on her and she kicked him out for the third time that week. It was like he had his own personal soap opera or something. How fucking irritating. Why couldn't people just keep their problems to themselves?

"Like I do," he mumbled to his reflection. He had put on a clean pair of clothes and was currently trying to get a comb through his horrid hair.

Sighing, he set the plastic tool down and looked at the image staring back at him. His insomnia hadn't been getting any better so the bags under his eyes had deepened, but other than that he didn't look too unusual. Good, because he had a lot of things to do on that overcast Saturday. First, he had to visit his half-brother at the asylum, and once he was done with that, he had a meeting with Quillsh Wammy in order to further discuss the possibility of his adopting a child. Although he was very nervous, L couldn't help but feel a shiver of excitement.

Such was his excitement that in under an hour he was face-to-face with his half-brother, Beyond Birthday. Sitting quite still, he watched as the security guards unstrapped the straightjacket. Each buckle was carefully undone and each knot was unlaced with shaking fingers. Slouched in front of the cautious guards, Beyond almost seemed to be sleeping on his feet. His eyes were half-lidded and he swayed a little. L frowned, wondering if they had switched up Beyond's medication again. Once all the bindings were removed, a guard guided the unsteady young man to a seat across the table from his visitor. Then, he too was gone.

"B?" L called out gently, coaxing his brother with the use of his pet name.

Dark eyes looked up and ever so slowly, a smile curled up cruelly on those pale lips. His sharp eyes shone with intelligence that very few could understand. L leaned forward and patted his brother on the head.

"Dear brother, to what do I owe this visit?" Bitterness stained the polite words, but L let the guilt roll off of his back.

"I came to visit you because I love you, B."

"Really? Then why the hell am I still here?" he hissed angrily, clenching the bare table until his knuckles whitened.

"Beyond," L warned, "you know that I can't help you. This was the best I could do to get you out of prison."

"Tch."

"Murdering three people puts a bit of a damper on your getting out," L snapped before regretting it. Those damn medications were the ruin of his wonderful brother and lately they had been putting holes into his memory.

B wrinkled his nose in thought before realization dawned on him. He remembered why he was doomed to forever be locked up in the institution and he allowed himself to sigh. "You're right, I'm sorry about that."

L reached out and stroked his brother's hand. "It's alright, B, it really is. But I can talk to those idiot doctors about your medication. Again."

The younger brother just rolled his eyes. "It's not worth it Lawliet, so don't even bother. Anyway, you've deviated from your normal pattern, so I deduce that you have some news to tell me." A mischievous look twinkled in his eyes as he took in the sight of L flushing in embarrassment.

"Well, yes. Actually, I wanted to let you know that I've decided to take Light's advice and I am now applying to adopt a child."

That cruel smile only widened. "My oh my, L, you are a naughty little vixen aren't you? Let me guess, you even went to Wammy's House to look for this child?"

L nodded. "Yes; I have an appointment with Mr. Wammy in a few hours."

"He's going to bring up your…strange behavior, you know. And he'll bring me up, I'm sure."

"That won't matter," L replied sternly. "I've worked on my cover story and it's practically perfect. See, they think that I'm now on some medication."

"Ah, and they really believed that?"

Another nod. "Yes, of course! I've been going to the psychologist Light suggested and he's been writing my prescriptions for months now. I don't take any of course, but I do get them filled out and picked up. I've got quite a collection now," he giggled. B just stroked his hand fondly. "As for you, I won't make any excuses. Everyone knows that those bloody pills they were giving you made you do what you did."

Beyond just shrugged and pulled his older brother's hand up to his lips. A gentle kiss was pressed to each knuckle, and soft dull hair tickled the backside of the thin hand. "So, who is this boy who has caught my dearest brother's eye?"

The look of jealousy shot at him escaped L's attention as he began explaining the golden-haired child. Impressively, he could still feel himself getting hard just _thinking_ about that boy. Of course, he wasn't the first child to give him an erection, but he was the first one to do so continuously in memory only. "What do you think?" he asked breathlessly, leaning forward and studying his brother's cold reflective eyes.

It couldn't be helped, so Beyond leaned forward and pressed his lips to L's lips. He wouldn't be able to hide his frustration, his jealousy if L stared at him so intently. No, he had to relax his brother, had to fool him once more. The guards watching from the other side of the glass did nothing as he leaned forward even more, his chest screaming in pain from the pressure of the edge of the table. Habits were so hard to break, so L opened his mouth and moaned as he took his brother's tongue inside.

* * *

"_My goodness, what the bloody hell is going on here?"_

_L looked up guiltily and pulled his brother's bruised body closer. Beyond growled in irritation at the fact that he was no longer moving his painfully swollen cock inside his tight brother._

"_R-roger! It, uh, it's-"_

"_You can wait one fucking minute," B hissed as he thrusted into the body under him a few more times; climax was too close and he wouldn't let some old bag ruin it for him. L cried out as he felt the familiar substance filling him and spilling out around Beyond's slicked member. Although L didn't reach his climax, B figured that he would just give him a blow job later._

_Horrified, Roger tore the two of them apart and gave each boy a firm slap in the face. "Get some clothes on right now," he demanded. B wanted to lunge and attack the old man, but L grabbed his arm and held him back. _

"_Just do it," L begged; he didn't want them in any more trouble._

_

* * *

_"Tell me that you love me," B whispered as he pulled back teasingly. The sarcasm wasn't lost on his brother.

"You know that I-"

B captured his lips once more. He loved dominating his brother, and even now he had to show L that he had it in him. Still, he didn't want to hear those empty words, he didn't want to hear that he was "loved".

His sharp teeth bit down on L's lower lip, drawing blood, but L didn't flinch; he understood his brother, and he was used to such treatment. B lapped at the blood, suckling on the swollen lip hungrily. It was unfair, his whole life was just so damn unfair. L stroked his brother's face and pulled away. He just smiled as the blood rolled down his chin, and he petted his younger brother's unruly hair.

"When did you say your appointment was?" Beyond asked, holding himself back. It wouldn't do to ravage his brother in front of the guards.

"I have a few hours," L replied as he licked the blood off his lip and used a handkerchief to wipe the rest off his chin. The handkerchief was stained with old blood and was only used for situations like this.

"Well, don't waste those hours on me," the younger of the two giggled. "You must prepare for the greatest lie you'll ever present!"

L frowned. "B, every breath I take, every minute that I spend out in the public, _that_ is the greatest lie I have ever presented." Dark eyes watched quietly. "All I want is to…to be accepted."

'_But I accept you!'_ Beyond wanted to scream out. Who else on this damnable planet loved L Lawliet as much as he did? No one, not one fucking person! Still, he would not say it. L loved little children, and to be honest, he was no longer little. No matter how much he tried to delay his aging, all that malnutrition, the anorexia, all of it was only temporary. And now? He would never be anything more than a fling.

"Well, you should at least talk to this little lover boy of yours."

"What do you mean?" L asked as he chewed on his thumb.

"For being a genius, you are pretty dull-witted," B retorted. "Now, first of all, you need to talk to him to see if you have a chance with him at all. Do you want a child who will only rely on you, who will be so broken that he can do nothing but love you? Or would you rather a child who will be able to function outside in the real world and yet still accept a relationship with you?"

Pulling his thumb away from his ruthless teeth. "It would be ideal, Beyond, if I could have a child who would love me back and who wouldn't be messed up in the head, but I don't think that I can ever attain that."

"So what do you want?"

"As long as I won't hurt him and he can in some way love me back, that should be fine. I can live with that."

"And what will you do with him when he gets too old?"

Shock painted across L's face. B remained unreadable and just watched his brother struggle with the question. However, he didn't have any pity or mercy in this point. After all, he had been in that position and he still was.

"I, well, I-"

"Ah, never mind. You don't have to worry about that now." L's owlish eyes continued to stare widely at him. Fuck; he always did have a soft spot for his brother. "Just get this kid, and you can worry about the future of your little romp later."

Silence passed between them for a moment before L stood up abruptly. "I must be going," he mumbled. "Try not to bite any more fingers off, understood?"

"Of course."

L paused as he stood in front of the door. Not looking back, he sighed. "I love you, Beyond."

"Of course you do," he replied. "Now, can I ask you for a favor?"

"Anything," L hastily replied.

"Can you bring jam next time?"

/_/_/_/

Darkness comforted him, holding him as tenderly as any mother should. Rocking back and forth on his rocking chair, he couldn't stop himself from counting the seconds it took for each rocking motion. It had to be precise, like the beating of a drum. One, two, one, two…

"Are you awake?" Light asked as he stepped out of the candle-lit bathroom. A bathrobe hung loosely over his sculpted body. Steam wafted delicately around him.

"Yes."

"Mmm, do you have some sake?"

"No."

"Tch. Wine?"

"There's a bottle in the refrigerator. Top right shelf, exactly four inches from the edge."

"In the fridge?" Light gasped. "Are you really that much of a barbarian?"

"I'm in an apartment. I don't have a cellar."

"Well, move already!" Light commanded as he moved to get his alcohol.

"I haven't bought a house."

"Damn it, you have the money! Why the hell are you hesitating?"

L shrugged, not bothering to argue. The clinking of glass teased his ears and he smiled as he imagined the content look on Light's face. "I'm going to be talking to the boy next week," he stated.

"Mmm, do you know his name yet?" Liquid poured into an expensive crystal cup.

"Mihael. His name is Mihael Keehl." The name was like music to his ears. It was so beautiful, befitting the wondrous creature he was. "But his nickname is Mello, and that's what he prefers to be called."

"Mello is a weird name," Light complained as he walked into the living room with the wine bottle in one hand and the full cup in the other. "Drink with me," he commanded, holding out the cup.

Taking the cup, L just sipped on the sweet drink. It was a tad fruity, just like he liked it. Light wrinkled his nose at the overly sweet wine, but he poured even more down his throat. Dark eyes watched in amusement as his friend continue to drink out of the bottle directly. Because he would never drink after someone else and Light knew it, L was guessing that his caramel-haired friend was planning on downing the whole thing.

"You've never told me, but are you an alcoholic along with all your other 'problems'?"

Light snorted before taking another gulp of the addictive elixir. "I recall someone telling me that at one point, but I disregarded such a notion. Just because I enjoy drinking doesn't mean I'm an alcoholic. Besides, I have faith in my liver."

"I'd hate to be your doctor," L chuckled.

"Mark this day on your calendar," Light ordered, "because I could have said something very scathing and I chose _not_ to hurt your delicate feelings."

"Ooohhhh," L murmured as he twirled his forefinger in a circle. "You're so special for having common decency."

"Pedophile," Light hissed as he sat back on the immaculate couch.

"Sadistic narcissist."

"OCD."

"Alcoholic."

"Are we really going to go down the list?"

"I don't know, are we?"

Light smiled and stretched out comfortably on the couch, as if he owned it. "Come sit by me," he commanded good-naturedly. Not seeing any reason to deny his friend, L hopped out of his rocking chair and sat next to his warm, dominant friend. "I don't see how those stupid doctors can label you with all sorts of offensive disorders. Schizoid? Seriously? You've made a friend in me, and you care about me."

"I agree with you," L mumbled, enjoying the way that he was never uncertain with Light around. His warmth was comforting and his confidence seemed to saturate everything around him, including L.

"So, you think you can do it? Survive a meeting with this Mello, I mean."

L pulled his legs up to his chest and snuggled into his friend's side with a contented sigh. "I really want to, Light, and I will try to the best of my ability to go through our meeting without showing any weakness."

"Good. I'll be rooting for you."

"That's a comfort."

Silence filled the orderly room as they just soaked in each other's presence. Words were not necessary for the two of them to convey feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

**To be continued…**

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**Author's Notes: Paraphillias involves the use of unconventional sex objects or situations to obtain sexual arousal; this includes fetishes and pedophiles. People who exhibit schizoid personality disorder lack the ability or desire to form social relationships and have no warm or tender feelings for others.**

**So? How was it? :) Please drop me a review and let me know what you're thinking. Also feel free to point out any spelling or grammar errors as I make them far too often.**


	2. Act two: Finding

The week passed by quickly for L, and too soon he found himself in a room, sitting across a table from the boy he had seen from the stairs. Up close, Mello was even more stunning, with his pre-pubescent chest and hairless body. At least, what he imagined was a hairless body. It was enough to make him shudder in pleasure. Those black clad limbs were so long and thin, and…where could the praise end? He was perfect. Absolutely divine.

"Soooo," Mello started, shifting uncomfortably on his chair. His eyes darted towards the window and his fingers clenched the bottom of the chair.

L's mind began racing for an appropriate conversation starter. He knew that Quillsh was watching the two of them and he was undoubtedly going to nit-pick every aspect of his behavior. "My name is L," he blurted out, pulling his legs up against his chest.

Mello stared at his strange sitting habit. "My name's Mello. Nice to meet you, I guess."

An awkward silence hung between them while L tried to keep from ogling the boy. The blond began shaking his leg nervously. "Why are you sitting like that?" he asked confidently. "It looks weird."

"It increases my intelligence by 40 percent," he replied immediately with an innocent smile. "Besides, it's actually really comfortable."

Grinning widely, Mello pulled his legs up and tried to mimic L's posture. "Th-this isn't quite, er, comfortable," he grumbled as he tried to balance on the balls of his feet.

"Strange," the raven-haired man mumbled. "I've always felt that this was far more comfortable than sitting on my bum." By the Queen, no sooner had the word "bum" left his lips than he found his eyes drawn to the barely visible rear end of the child. Predictably, he felt the flesh between his legs stiffen.

"You're weird," Mello chuckled, stubbornly continuing to stay in that position. "So why are you here?" Although the smile remained on his face, his eyes seemed to dull a little. It almost seemed as if he was trying to tone down his personality, _himself_, so that L would like him more.

"I've…actually, I was looking to adopt you." His dark keen eyes stared intently, searching for the signs he knew all too well.

Mello shrugged and tried to look uninterested. His toes clenched tightly, veins stuck out delicately in his neck and his eyes darted to the door where Quillsh was no doubt standing behind. "Ok. I mean, whatever you want."

"What hobbies do you like?" he asked carefully, more interested in the boy's reaction than what he had to say.

Mello seemed to take a calming breath, carefully keeping his smile flawless. "I like playing football with my mates, but other than that, I like to study."

"Study?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, his throat constricting painfully from the stress. L could even see a drop of sweat rolling down his hairline. "Unlike other kids, I actually enjoy school and studying. It keeps my brain working."

"Is that so?" L mumbled, already chewing on his sore thumb. "You like it, but are you any good at it? School, I mean."

For a fraction of a second, fire flashed in those eyes and he looked ready to explode. But showing impressive control, he kept up his smile and pleasant tone. "Yes, sir. I'm s-second place in our rankings here at Wammy's."

After doing some quick thinking, L decided to test his theory. Although he didn't wish to hurt this boy, he really needed to see his true face, if only for a fraction of a second. Allowing his face to drop, he looked a little disappointed. "Oh, _just_ second place?"

As expected, he had struck the right nerve. Mello jumped up in fury, every inch of his lithe frame trembling from the energy that wanted to pour out of him. "What do you mean, '_just_ second' you anorexic, owl-eyed, bastard!" Quillsh quickly stepped in, but Mello's rage had made him blind. "I'll catch up to Near, I will! And I don't need anyone's help to do it either! I don't-"

The rest of his tirade was interrupted as Quillsh covered his mouth and lifted him up. "I apologize for his rudeness," the British gentleman said sternly as he carried the struggling child out of the room.

Dropping the abused digit, L stared longingly after the passionate boy. He was absolutely right about his suspicions. Leaning back in his chair, he ran through the whole conversation, analyzing and admiring the boy. After a few minutes, Quillsh came back in and took the seat that Mello had occupied only moments before. "Is Mello ok?" he asked, straining to keep the longing out of his voice.

Mr. Wammy rested his chin on his steepled fingers and his cold sharp eyes stared right through L for a few minutes. The raven-haired young man kept his breathing even and just returned to the stare. Clearing his throat, the old man nodded and finally spoke. "He will be fine once he calms down. Again, I apologize for his rudeness."

L waved his hand distractedly. "He's just a kid, so it doesn't bother me."

"Before making up your mind, you should know that what you have just seen is very typical of Mello. He's overly dramatic, has a very short temper, and has other problems. Now, he is very intelligent and has many talents, but I worry for his mental state."

"Why do you say that?" L asked, not even really caring. He understood already that most of the orphans at Wammy's were troubled children. After all, genius and insanity were two sides of the same coin.

"We are still trying to diagnose all of his disorders, but what is most troubling is that we don't really know much about his life before we found him. It's obvious that he was abused, but he refuses to acknowledge it or talk about it."

"That's not unusual," L scoffed. "He just wants to put it behind him."

Glancing at the young man over the rim of his glasses, Watari shook his head. "I think it would be best for you to leave today. There are things that I need to look into, and you would do well to get some rest."

Biting back the scathing remark that was dancing on his tongue, L just nodded obediently. "Yes, I think that I could use some medication right now."

Both men shook hands tersely before L made his graceful exit. As he began walking down the winding gravel trail to his vintage Buick, he cast a last woeful glance at the building he had been raised in. There standing in the window, Mello stared down at him. Their eyes met, and the dark-haired man felt as if his breath was stolen away. He delicately brought his forefinger and middle finger up to his lips before extending it out to the boy.

/_/_/_/

"Ooooh god!" Mikami screamed out as Light brought the paddle down on his rear end.

"Mmm, that sounded good, pet," the sadist purred. "Unfortunately, that's not good enough for me. Don't you want your master to get hard?"

"Yes, oh yes! You're god, my god! Beat me more!" Tears were streaming down his face, but he moaned in ecstasy as the paddle came down hard again.

"Of course I'm god to you," was the simple reply. "You're nothing but a lowly beast, a creature that isn't worthy of licking my boots."

"Not worthy, oh no, no, no, not worthy."

"Could you lower your volume?" L ordered with a huff. "I'm trying to watch a show here."

"Why don't you watch it at your own house, bitch?" Light grumbled as he ran his hands over the abused bum of his sex slave.

"Because I don't have cable."

"And why the hell don't you have cable?"

"Because it's too much of a bother to get it."

"Fuck you," Light hissed. "Now, Mikami, spread 'em."

"Oh yes, god, thank you," he blubbered.

"You don't deserve my cock, pet; not today. Thank me, because you're going to get a big fat dildo."

"Thank you, god," he said with the most sincerity anyone could have. "Thank you so very much!"

Shoving some M&M's into his mouth, L grumbled some more. He had been in a foul mood as of late considering that Watari had not called him since his visit with Mello. It was wearing his nerves to nothing but a frayed mess. He wanted to see Mello, _needed _to see Mello. Why did things always have to be so difficult? The seat next to him dipped down slightly and when he turned to see if Light was going to try to beat him with the paddle, he was surprised to see Misa.

"Wow, you actually have clothes on," he muttered shamelessly. "This is a surprise."

"Isn't it?" she giggled good-naturedly.

"Can I help you?"

"Well, Misa-Misa didn't need anything," she said quickly. "Misa just thought that you were looking a little down. Is there anything you want to talk about? Misa's a great listener."

"Hmm, I suppose all that gag training has been of some use."

"You're pretty funny!"

L rolled his eyes. This girl was an absolute ditz. "There's really nothing to talk about, Misa. You already know about my being a pedophile and my lusting after Mello. I'm just pissed off right now since I haven't been able to see him."

"Then why don't you sneak in to see him?"

Her simple, naïve answer left the young man speechless. At first, he wanted to scoff at her foolishness, but the longer he held his tongue, the better the idea seemed. Misa smiled innocently and twirled a blond pigtail between her fingers.

"You are a she-devil, you know that?" he deadpanned. "And I believe that I shall take your advice on this matter."

"Yay!" she squealed excitedly. "Misa-Misa loves it when she can make people happy!"

"Misa, are you harassing L?" Light asked as he walked in with some blood smeared on his hands.

"No, Master," she replied reverently. "Misa-Misa is only trying to help your friend so that he wouldn't be so sad."

"She's right," L jumped in. "Misa's actually given me a great idea."

"Really? Share it with me, now," he commanded.

"I'm going to sneak into Wammy's House to see Mello."

"Oh, that's exciting," Light replied with a wicked grin. "I will be coming along, of course."

L just shrugged. "If you want."

"You know I want to," Light snorted before turning to face Misa. "As for you, young lady, I think it's time that I screw your brains out."

Hugging himself, L ignored the naughty noises coming from behind him. No, he had _The Young and the Restless_ to watch.

/_/_/_/

Sneaking onto Mr. Wammy's property in the middle of the night wasn't as difficult as L thought it would be. With his and Light's mind combined, they were able to sneak past cameras and slip through the metal fence with sinful ease. Light tossed back his flawless caramel hair and huffed as they carefully made their way towards the looming building.

"This experience lacks the thrill that I thought would be associated with it," he stated unhappily. "You could have done this yourself."

"Shhhhh," L hissed. "They have guards that make regular rounds."

"Whoopdy doo dah," Light sighed. "It would actually be exciting if they did chase us."

"But I wouldn't be able to see Mello."

"So?"

"That's the whole point of our being here."

"…well yeah, but it's still boring."

"Then leave," L sighed, looking around warily.

"Nope."

As they were sneaking around to the back, something unexpected happened. "Who're you two?" a young voice drawled. The two young men jumped in surprise and L cursed under his breath. Looking up at an opened window, they saw a young boy with goggles strapped on his head staring down at them. A cigarette dangled from his chapped lips and his half-lidded eyes trained on them sharply, like a hawk.

"We're evil demons," Light stated firmly. "Now go to bed or we'll eat you alive."

"Sounds like fun," the boy retorted sarcastically. "Dude, how old do you think I am?"

"Forgive us," L interjected before Light went off like the Bullet Train. "I'm a friend of Mello's and I was just trying to check up on him."

"So why are you sneaking around in the middle of the night?"

Damn geniuses. "Because Mr. Wammy is a bloody idiot and won't let me see him."

A smile spread across the boy's face and he sat up. "Well, that's an honest answer if I've ever heard one!"

"Would you happen to know where Mello is?" L asked breathlessly, hoping that this strange and attractive child would help them.

Pulling the glowing cigarette from his lips and tapping it against the windowsill he nodded slowly. "Being his best mate, I ought to," he snickered. "By the way, my name's Matt."

"I'm Light Yagami," the headstrong Asian stated, "and this is L Lawliet." L just rolled his eyes.

"Light Yagami, author of over twelve best-sellers in less than six years, the winner of _Seventeen _magazine's 'Hottest career man' this last year, and a heartthrob of both men and women all around the globe."

"Well, it looks like someone's a fan," Light said in a most pleased manner.

"Just stroking your narcissistic ego," Matt replied with a wider smile. "Actually, I've never read any of your books, but Mello's a fan. He likes all that psychobabble." L grabbed his friend's arm before the younger man blew a gasket. "Anyhow, I'll just wake him up right now."

That caught the panda man's attention. "Wait, he's up there with you?"

"Shhhh!" Matt hissed, looking around worriedly. "And yes, he's my roommate."

The two men shared a quick glance. "C-can we come up?" L whispered, hoping beyond hope.

Matt stubbed out his cigarette and looked down at the two of them. After a quick analysis, he just shrugged. "I guess as long as none of you are pedophiles, we're all good."

L's eye twitched, but otherwise the both of them kept up their polite masks. "We're innocent!" Light declared cheerily. "Now, let us up or we'll get caught!"

After using the old fashioned bed-sheets-into-a-rope trick, the two adults were standing in the middle of a modest bedroom. Matt was sitting on his bed, trying to get the knots out of his sheets, and Mello was dead asleep on the bed on the opposite side of the room. Even in his slumber, the young blond held an air of perfection. It didn't matter that his hair was sticking up every which way or that there was some drool slipping past his slightly parted lips. Most temptingly, the said young boy was sleeping in nothing but his boxers.

Light nudged his friend a little before turning his attention to his newest prey. If one thing pissed Light off more than anything else, it was people criticizing his work or not worshiping him. It probably had something to do with his superiority complex. Poor Matt. Still, this was his first chance to speak to Mello without someone looking over his shoulder. He could be honest; or rather, more honest. Taking a deep breath, he knelt by Mello's bed and rested his trembling hand on the boy's bare shoulder.

"Mello?" he whispered as he shook gently.

Sleepy eyes blinked rapidly and his breath deepened. It took Mello a few seconds of staring before he recognized the hunched older man. When he did recognize him, a confused look plastered itself across his face. "Eh? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Shhh," L instructed, glancing quickly at Light arguing with Matt. "First, I want to apologize to you. I had no intention of hurting you when we were talking, but I wanted to see if my suspicions were right."

"Suspicions?" Mello asked nervously. Oh, he was just so delectable.

L brought his face closer to the boy's and allowed his sugar saturated breath ghost along those features. "Yes. I wanted to see who you really were."

Anger clouded Mello's features. "Well I'm sorry that I'm not perfect," he spat out. "I can't be number one and I get mad all the time and I beat innocent kids up. I'm tired of fucking lying just to get out of this hell-hole. I'd rather stay here and be my normal psychotic self than have to lie for the rest of my life."

A happy smile lit up L's face. "How about if you could get out of this 'hell-hole' and still be yourself?"

"Fuck you, I won't-" The blond paused for a moment and studied the man's face. "Wait, are you saying…that you're not mad at me?"

"That's right. I know very well what it means to try to hide yourself, and I promise that you will never have to be someone other than yourself around me."

"No kidding?" Mello whispered, barely allowing himself to hope. Could he really be taken out of Wammy's House and allowed to be himself?

"I'm being 100% serious," L confirmed. His smile widened as he saw the boy's awestruck eyes. Shooting the other two a quick glance again, he risked a quick peck to the boy's forehead. Mello looked at him curiously before a strange glint flickered in his teal eyes. Before L had a chance to question him, the blond leaned forward and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to his eager lips. It felt as if the entire world had frozen and there was only the two of them. Just as quickly as it came, the kiss was gone. "W-what was that?" L hissed nervously, hoping that Matt didn't see the kiss. He was scared of being caught, but more imminent was his fear of losing his control.

"I wanted to see if my suspicions were right," he replied softly, seemingly unfazed.

"You-"

Mello pressed a finger to his lips and just smiled like the angel that he was. "I wanted to hate you, you know. It was so easy for you to tear apart the façade that I had carefully built, and it pissed me off. But then you went and did something no one else had ever done. You blew a kiss to me."

L blushed. "And you're not…disgusted?"

"Why should I be?" Mello huffed. "It's actually kind of flattering to have some old guy like you."

Clenching his hands nervously, L decided to probe a little more. "So, if I were to get permission to adopt you, would you be okay with that? I mean, I'm not trying to force you into anything! I just…well, I like you." Surely his face was purple with shame by now.

Mello blushed at the confession. He knew that he was good looking and that dirty old men wanted him, but this guy was the first one to actually make the confession. To be honest, Mello kind of found his awkwardness and blushing cute. It was like he was still a kid in some ways, that maybe there wasn't that much of an age difference between them. As he looked over the lanky man's form he had to say that L wasn't repulsive or anything. He was a bit on the scrawny side, but that was always better than being fat. Mello hated fat people; it was another disorder of his Roger would say. "Is your hair naturally wild like that?" he murmured as he reached out to stroke the strands.

"Yes," L replied, still confused. Was Mello going to accept his come on or was he going to reject the older man?

"That's cool." The dark bags under his eyes weren't all that flattering, but they did make him unique. Turquoise eyes continued with the inspection: poor posture, baggy clothes, smooth pale skin, straight nose, clean fingernails. Although he didn't like the posture and wrinkled clothes, the thing he hated the most were L's eyes. They seemed to suck in all the light and they reminded him too much of Near. "Well, I don't like your eyes, but other than that I can live with it."

Luck! It seemed that his stars were in line tonight because that was obviously not a rejection. "So you won't be against a relationship with me?" L asked carefully, trying not to scare the younger boy.

Mello just smiled haughtily. "Nope. I'm not scared of dating older guys."

Trying not to squeal in delight, L pulled Mello into a hug and just enjoyed being in contact with him. Confidently, the younger boy wrapped his arms around the skinny man's waist. He nuzzled into L's neck and allowed himself to appreciate the masculine yet sweet scent that was L.

Matt and Light stared at the two. "Wow. That's weird," the boy commented.

"Indeed," Light replied with a smile. It looked like his Loli was going to be just fine with that kid. "About how much longer can we stay here?"

"Um, they don't come barging in until about eight o'clock in the morning. As long as you guys leave by then, everything should be ok."

"L, I'm tired," Light called out. With that, he settled himself into Matt's bed.

"Hey, get off my bed!" Matt complained. "I need to sleep there."

"Find somewhere else to sleep," Light ordered as he snuggled further into the mattress.

"Fine," he huffed in annoyance. "I'll just sleep with Mello."

Within a few minutes, all of them were finally situated. Light had a bed to his own while Matt rested between L and Mello. The new couple shared secretive smiles over the sleeping brunette and they even dared to hold hands above his head. Mello could honestly say that he had never done anything quite so exciting in his life. It was exhilarating.

/_/_/_/

"E-excuse me?"

Mr. Wammy's cold blue eyes stared intently at the dumbstruck man. "I'm sorry, L, but I'm afraid that I cannot allow you to adopt Mello. This decision is final, and I can honestly say that I'm not sure I could be convinced to allow you to adopt any of my children."

"Explain yourself!" L demanded as he slammed his palms against the stained oak desktop. He didn't want to lose his control or his carefully painted mask, but his fury made that impossible.

"I assure you that I have given the greatest consideration for both you and Mello's well being. Although you have assured me countless times that you have gotten better, I don't believe you." L's eyes widened. "The only thing that's improved is your lying and your poker face. I didn't raise you for 16 years by twiddling my thumbs; I have been studying your psyche for so long that I am confident in my assessment. I refuse to give you fodder for your sickness."

Scathing words of hatred and denial swelled up in L's mind; he wanted to debate and argue, be he knew it would be useless and possibly even detrimental. One look at those stern eyes and he knew that Mr. Wammy had made his final decision. L allowed the disgust to show on his face, but he bit his tongue and abruptly left the room. How dare that bastard keep him away from Mello! Who was he to judge whether or not L had improved? L was not a rapist and he was not trying to hurt anyone! All he wanted was someone to love; why did everyone seem to think that this small fact was so wrong?

As he was stomping toward the front door, the fuming genius caught a glimpse of a familiar naked foot. Acting quickly, L slipped under the stairs where Mello was undoubtedly eating stolen chocolate. His precious little lover was addicted to those things. The blond perked up when he saw L, but his face fell as soon as he saw the man's expression. "Mr. Wammy won't let me adopt you," L whispered somberly; he allowed himself to stroke the child's hand.

"Why?" Mello asked sadly. The only person who had shown interest in adopting him and who had offered excitement was being chased off. "Is it because I won't talk about the guy who beat me up? 'Cause if it's that, I'll-"

"No, it's not you, Mello," L sighed. Biting his lip, the pale man decided to test his luck; this was his last-ditch effort. "Do you want to get out of here?"

Turquoise eyes glanced up from the melting chocolate in his hands. "Yes," he replied slowly.

Taking a deep breath, L pushed further. "I still want you, Mello. Every fiber of my being is screaming to be with you!" Mello blushed with that. "I have a proposal for you. If you want, and _only_ if you want, I'll come back in two days and we'll run away together."

The words sounded heavy in the air, forcing his heart to speed up uncomfortably. Although he had been confident while speaking, it all seemed to vaporize. Was he really going to do such a thing? Could he? Finally, the young boy's voice broke through the tension. "If I said, 'yes', what would we do? Mr. Wammy would chase after us."

L nodded. "We'll run, Mello. It will be just like an adventure."

"An adventure?"

"Yes! I've amassed quite a sum of money, so we'll be able to live comfortably, even on the run. We can even move to other countries if you want."

"Really?" Mello squealed in excitement.

"Absolutely," L promised, as he drew closer. "You will never want for anything, and I will adore you forever. I will _worship_ you." By now, his voice was husky and he was dying to kiss those tender lips. He was so close and begging for permission.

Blushing furiously and licking his lips nervously, Mello leaned forward a bit in consent. L could barely restrain himself as he claimed those lips in a passionate and desperate kiss. The boy made an adorable mewling noise as he was pulled closer and a slick tongue was forced into his mouth. Blood rushed down from L's brain, literally making him dizzy. The child's warm mouth offered him a high so addictive that he wondered why anyone bothered with drugs. Kissing was way better; at least, kissing Mello was. His tongue greedily explored and his teeth nipped gently if hurriedly at the precious lips. After a few frantic minutes of heavy making out, L was finally able to make sense of the pressure on his chest. Horrified, he realized that Mello was trying to push away. Pulling back from those addictive lips, L panted loudly as he tenderly held Mello's face and examined the boy. A string of saliva clung from his swollen lips to his smooth chin and his face was purple from the lack of oxygen and a blush.

"Shit, I'm sorry," he gasped. "Mello, you're a god to me, perfect! Forgive me if I get overwhelmed."

"S-sure," Mello stuttered.

Swallowing hard, L forced his brain to work. "I need to get going now, but will come back to you in two days. You have until then to make up your mind; either stay here until you are an adult or come with me for the journey of a lifetime." Pressing one last kiss to the swollen lips, L made his quick escape, leaving an overwhelmed child under the staircase with his crushed bar of chocolate.

/_/_/_/

"So, you're really going to do this?" It wasn't really a question. It was an amused statement.

"Yes," L confirmed as he typed away.

Light looked up at the ceiling and crossed his slender legs. "What about other kids? Couldn't you go to another orphanage and find someone else to screw?"

"Absolutely not. Other orphanages have stupid children. I wouldn't be able to carry a decent conversation."

"How about Matt? He seemed like a nice kid."

L spun around in his chair to look at his best friend. The man was still staring at the ceiling as if he had found something to keep his tentative attention. "What are you talking about? Yes, Matt's absolutely gorgeous and he's smart, but he's not Mello. I only want Mello."

"Why?" Light pushed. "What makes him any different from any other kid?"

Biting his thumb, L pondered the question. Was it just his desperation that made him want to take Mello hard every time he saw the boy? Did he only want sex? Thinking about those things made his stomach churn uncomfortably. "No," he mumbled slowly. "I don't just want sex. I…well maybe it's just a chemical reaction and his pheromones are affecting the processes of my brain, but it feels like we just…click. Don't you feel that way for Misa or Mikami?"

"Of course not," Light snorted.

"Then why-"

"Because I'm addicted to sex, and I love to beat people into submission, _L_, why the fuck else? I'm sick in the damned head and you are too!" His dangerous caramel eyes tore away from the ceiling and glared at the hunched over man. "Why the hell can't you just be normal and accept the fact that you're fucking sick? There is no such thing as _love_ especially not for people like us!"

L stared at his best friend and didn't bother to feel offended. This was just Light having a temper tantrum. He was probably just trying to show that he was going to miss L just as much as he was going to be missed; yes, it was his special way of showing how much he cared. "I've found it, Light, and I'm not going to let go of it. Ever."

There was silence for a few minutes before Light broke it. "So what are you doing?"

"I'm transferring all of my money to various accounts so that I'll be able to access my money no matter where Mello and I run to."

"How long will your money last?"

The older of the two shrugged. "I'm not sure. For a while I hope, and I can always get an illegal job if I need to make ends meet."

Light returned to looking at the ceiling. "Well, if you were ever to run out of money, or need money for something, theoretically I have some money under several aliases that you could access. I mean, you'd owe me of course, but it's always there. Untouched."

L walked over to Light and gave him the biggest and most awkward hug ever. A thank-you wasn't necessary between them. The hug was more than enough, and the kiss was the cherry on top.

/_/_/_/

"Um, tell me that you're kidding. Seriously."

Mello looked up at his best friend of six years and shook his head. "No, I'm not kidding."

"So, you're going to run away? And with that creepy guy?"

"Hey, you're the one who let him into our room," Mello shot back defensively and Matt threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Yeah, but I'm not the one who agreed to date the pedophile and then decided to run away with the nut job! I mean, have you _talked_ to the guy?"

"Don't be stupid, Matt. There's nothing wrong with our age difference. Besides, I'm practically an adult!"

Matt shook his head in bewilderment and sat on his bed. "Can you hear what you're saying? You're twelve, Mello, nowhere near being an adult! Besides, don't you know what adults want? They want _sex_."

"Nuh uh, not all of them."

"Oh, just this guy."

"Mattie! Don't be such a jerk!"

"Mells, stop being so fucking naïve! You say you're an adult already and yet you can't even face the facts that he wants to get into your tight little pants!"

Mello huffed and crossed his arms. He wasn't ready to admit that he might be getting into something that he wasn't really prepared for. "Look, so what if he wants sex? I can do that."

His friend's blue eyes widened from behind his orange tinted goggles. "B-but you're a kid, Mello. You can't really have sex! Besides, do you even know what's involved in man on man sex?"

"Of course I do," Mello bluffed, "and it's no big deal. I'm not asking you to come with me or have sex with L, so chill out."

As soon as the words left his mouth, the blond saw the hurt in his friend's eyes. They had been inseparable for years and now he was going to run away with this stranger who claimed to love him. However, he just couldn't listen to his better judgment! When would he ever get another chance like this? He had been offered an exciting life where he could do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and wherever he wanted. They would even be running from the law like in the movies! If all he had to do was be worshiped by some old man and have sex to get all the above, he was more than willing.

"So, you're going to go?"

"Yes." It sounded so final, and Mello almost felt as if he had just pronounced a death sentence. "But that doesn't mean I don't love you, Mattie," he added softly. "You'll always be my best friend, and I'll never forget you."

Matt looked down to try to hide his tears. This was just so weird! They were kids, they shouldn't be in a situation like this. "I l-love you too," he sniffled. How could he live without his other half, his leader, and partner in crime?

Tearing up himself, Mello launched himself into Matt's arms and cried against his neck. Matt clung to him tightly and cried into the blond's shoulder. This was really happening. "D-don't forget m-me, 'kay, Mattie?"

Matt clung even tighter to his friend. "I never will, Mello; even if you forget me, I could never forget you."

Much sooner than either of them wanted, L was under their window, waiting for his reply. Mello tried to swallow down the lump in his throat and he gave Matt a quick kiss. "Don't tell on me to anyone, promise?"

"I promise."

With that, Matt helped his friend throw down his small duffle bag. Again implementing the bed-sheet-rope trick, Mello made it safely into his boyfriend's arms. They shared a quick kiss, and like the young and stupid lovers that they were, they ran off the grounds excitedly. Matt leaned against the windowsill and watched six years of his life run off with some guy. His pack of cigarettes rested forgotten beside his elbow.

/_/_/_/

"You want me to do what?"

Almost Always might have been a new and naïve member of the staff at Winchester's Home for the Mentally Unstable, but he was by now means stupid. He had heard about the horrible things a certain Beyond Birthday had done to fellow nurses and he wasn't ready to waltz into the man's room.

"Look, you don't got a choice, mate," one of the other nurses said as he puffed away on his cheap cigarette. It was a disgusting habit and made his sensitive nose wrinkle irritably. "You're the new guy, end of story."

The other nurse shoved the box into his hands and walked away. Biting his lip, Almost peeked into the single window that offered a view of the padded room. The young man was sitting in a corner with his head lolling side to side. A gag had been tied too tightly and the corners of his lips were caked in blood. The standard white straightjacket squeezed his unhealthy frame and his bare feet peeked out from the bottom of his pant legs. A part of him wondered how such horrible things could come from such a defenseless looking man. He seemed so…defeated. Almost like he was tired.

With shaking hands, he slid open the deadbolt and pressed his key into the keyhole. A quick twist and pull and the door was open, letting out a small burst of cold air. Bracing himself, he walked forward to face the nightmare of this horrid little place.

"B-beyond?"

The dark-haired man's head stopped lolling and dark eyes shot open. Nearly black irises rolled up slowly to take in his shivering form and he was almost certain that he was going to pee in his pants. Yes, now he could believe that this man had done horrible things.

"Hnnn?" he replied through the gag, a little bit of saliva spilling past his chapped lips.

"Um, y-you received a g-gift. Oh, um, I'm th-the new guy. Almost Always is my n-" Beyond decided to hiss at him in annoyance and the young Italian nearly jumped out of his skin. Nervously tucking a lock of pale brown hair behind his ear, he got back on track. "Your brother sent this f-for you."

Something lit up in those eyes, but he wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a sign that he was about to be murdered. Death by cardboard box in the hands of a crazy man, that had a nice ring to it. Taking a deep breath, he knelt in front of the insane man and carefully opened the box. He pulled out the only article in the container and when he lifted it up he stared at it in confusion.

A single jar of strawberry jam.

Suddenly, a thunder of laughter echoed from the trapped man and Almost stared at him in shock and concern. It was an unnatural kind of laugh, and yet, he began to wonder if Beyond was really laughing or if he was doing his damnest not to cry.

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**To be continued…**

**Please review! I'm really interested in what you guys think.**


	3. Act three: Learning

**Thank you to everyone who's reviewed this story and for all the support. Sorry for the lateness on putting this up, but it's extra long to make up for that. Hopefully, not too long, yeah? And I'll give Deathcookies (courtesy of I'm-With-Jeevas) to all those who review this chapter.**

**

* * *

**By the time the two runaways made it to the airport, L was ready to have a panic attack. Staring at the blond child excitedly bouncing around, he realized that what he was doing was completely stupid and had less than ten percent chance of actually working. Who was he trying to kid? He was kidnapping a twelve-year-old and taking him to another country where he planned to copulate and engage in a loving relationship for years to come. Just thinking about it made him sick to his stomach. He still had time to turn around and give up the precious little bundle of light. Gnawing on his thumb, he continued to watch as Mello explored every inch of the airport within eyeshot. It was nerve-wracking. Anyone could just snatch him up and carry him off.

'_Like I did.'_

But just the same, he selfishly wanted to keep the boy with him for as long as possible. Mello seemed to be everything that he was not, and just being in his presence soothed L's frayed soul. Watching Mello brush past a stern adult made L wince; even as he was calming, Mello was quite stressful.

"Mello," he hissed, trying to inconspicuously get the excited child's attention. Unfortunately, it didn't work; Mello continued to explore the area. "Mello!"

The blond turned his head and pouted. "What?" he huffed.

"Sit here," he ordered gruffly. A few people were staring in their direction and it was making him uncomfortable.

"But why? I've never been to an airport before!"

"Sit, and I'll tell you!" Ah, his little angel was the only one who could manage to rile him up in such a way.

"Fine." The boy couldn't resist crossing his arms unhappily as he sat next to the older man.

Once he was sure that there weren't anymore people snooping in on their conversation, L scooted closer to Mello and bent over to whisper in his ear. "You'll have plenty of opportunities to see an airport later, but right now we need to focus on blending in and getting out of here. The police will be coming after us soon enough and we don't want to be remembered by all the people here."

"That sucks," Mello grumbled.

L smiled reassuringly and pressed a chaste kiss to the boy's forehead. "Don't worry, soon you'll grow sick of airports. There's no rush."

"Okay. I guess I have to trust you."

"Let's hope so," L chuckled. "After all, you just ran away with me. I hope you trust me at least a little."

The boy's sparkling smile made the older man want to cry in joy. "Yeah, just a little. So, don't bother getting a big head about it."

"Mmm, I won't." His perverted mind was definitely making the boy's last sentence a sexual innuendo.

With that sorted out, L began to focus on their plan. If you could call it a plan. Their fake IDs had already gotten them tickets and safe passage to New York City. In another hour the two of them would be on the plane and once they arrived at their destination they would spend the night at an expensive hotel. After that…well, it was all up the air. He knew that they had to leave quickly, but there wasn't a specific route planned out.

Maybe fate would lead him just as it led him to beautiful Mihael Keehl. His cold hand reached out and stroked the boy's face with all the tenderness that he could muster. Those gorgeous eyes looked up, sparkling with youthful enthusiasm and a hint of mischievous. It was enough to make him want to touch the boy intimately, to love him and hold him. All of his thoughts weren't sexual, however; in part, he just wanted to show his love, to _share_ in a special love. It had been his only wish for as long as he could remember and now it was all within his grasp. If only he could hold onto the boy long enough.

/_/_/_/

The plane ride was mostly uneventful. At first, Mello was all over the place, ooohing and ahhhing everything, but once the ride started, he fell asleep. The stress of having run away with an older man wiped him out and for that L was extremely thankful. He thought that the boy would never settle down.

Resting his chin on his palm, L watched the sleeping boy. Was this really happening? Could they really get away? It all seemed like too much to hope for, but he wasn't going to give up now.

'_Will he really make me happy? I'm happy now, just watching him, but what if I find out that we aren't really compatible? I can't just dump him like that.'_

Being the adult was quite stressful. Turning his attention to the early morning stars blinking away happily, L found himself wondering about his friend and his brother. Were they doing well? He hoped so. He also hoped that B wasn't too upset and that he would be able to recover well enough.

'_I can't believe that I gave up my entire life for this bratty little child. I had money, a friend, a dear brother, and even a promising career. I threw that all away for him. This will either be the best decision I've ever made or the worst one. Time will tell, I suppose.'_

Once they reached New York City, he was planning to buy the boy some disposable cameras to take pictures of their little adventure and they would do some quick sight-seeing. By doing that, he would give Mello a chance to get to know him a little better and start developing trust. If they were going to be lovers, trust was going to be an important issue.

"So much to do," he mumbled tiredly. "So much to do and not enough time…"

/_/_/_/

The day trip through New York City had been a success. Mello had loved it and had eagerly snapped all kinds of pictures. He declared that he would make a scrapbook of their adventure, and L had heartily supported the idea. As dusk began to fall, he dragged the still energetic child to their expensive hotel and checked them into the Master Suite.

While Mello was bouncing around the hotel excitedly, L was sitting on the edge of the bed nervously. The four-poster king sized bed was perfectly soft and the sheets were fluffy and comforting. Perfect for resting under while holding his little lover in post-coital bliss. He shuddered in delight just thinking about it. Why had he provided such temptations for himself? The little fireball ran across his field of vision exclaiming about how the window frames were gilded and the curtains were really made of silk. His firm behind waggled beautifully as his legs pumped away.

"Mello, can you come here for a minute?" he called out hoarsely.

The twelve-year-old peeked around the corner before bounding onto his lap. "Yes?"

L blushed as the pressure on his lap made his needy member strain against his pants. Instead of replying, the adult leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to those cherry lips. It was a chaste kiss, but he allowed his hands to gently run over the boy's round bum, groping gently. To him, this was far better than heaven or Nirvana, or whatever eternal happiness people could come up with. This was tangible and real and he could treasure it right here and now.

Mello blushed, especially as he felt the man's cock stiffen up underneath him. It looked like his Mattie was right about adults wanting sex, but he refused to be scared. Sex was a small price to pay to ensure his freedom. True, he didn't have a clue what it entailed, but it couldn't be all that bad; after all, people made a big deal out of it and even a successful business market. Yep, sex had to feel pretty damn good if it was being incorporated into every major form of entertainment: movies, books, and prostitution. Grinning, he tried to put on a "sexy" look; might as well get it over with so that he could better enjoy the rest of the week. Once a week of sex sounded good enough to him and he wasn't going to let Lawliet convince him of anything else. There was too much else to do.

"So, are you ready to have sex?" he asked with every bit of confidence that he wasn't feeling.

L's mouth dropped open as he stared at his little Ganymedes. Was this little angel serious? He was willing to offer his body so soon (even though that's exactly what his perverted mind was wishing for)? An indescribable feeling welled up within L and he hugged Mello tightly. This little creature was surely born just for him, and he was going to love the boy like he had loved no one else.

Adding a quick peck to the top of that golden head, he pulled away and nodded. "Yes, I'm ready. We'll do it with the lights on, so I can make sure it's done right. I wouldn't want your first time to be unbearably painful." Much like his first time.

'_Unbearably painful?'_ Mello's mind went into overdrive, trying to find a way out of this predicament. If he knew that sex was going to hurt, he wouldn't have offered!

L didn't seem to notice the boy's change in demeanor and proceeded to tug Mello's shirt off. Squeaking in surprise, Mello tried to scoot away, but those bony fingers pulled him in closer. Immediately, L dipped his head lower and let his tongue rub against the child's sensitive nipples. His hungry mouth attacked both of the raised nubs of flesh and Mello couldn't withhold the strange noise that tore from his throat.

"Hnyaaa!"

Dear lord, that was the most wonderful sound his ears have ever heard. It literally made him groan in pleasure even as he continued to lavish attention to the boy's chest.

"Too good," he murmured, pausing to abuse the right nipple with little nips and harsh strokes of the tongue. By the non-existent gods, he wanted to hear more!

Nameless feelings raced through Mello as his body was subjected to the bold new sensations. His genius brain didn't know how to compute the barrage of stimulations and proceeded to shut down all logical thinking for the sake of self-preservation. Mello tossed his head back and whined cutely as L dragged his tongue down the slightly protruding sternum and to the perfectly shaped navel. Shuddering from the pleasure of feeling, tasting, hearing, and seeing the child before him, L couldn't help but feel pleasure in the fact that he was making Mello feel good as well. He had no intention of thrusting into the boy's body unprepared, completely focused on his pleasure alone. That's not how lovers behaved and he would never do such a thing to anyone, let alone Mello. With patience and seduction, he would make the boy's first time pleasurable and memorable.

At the same time, Mello's subconscious mind was waging a terrible war. A part of him wanted to shove the older man away, to not have any part in this horrible thing; it screamed of how wrong this was! Not only was the age difference enough to be deemed inappropriate, but they were both guys! Then, the other part of his mind would jump in. What did it matter if they were both guys or even years apart. What was the big deal? Who was sitting up on their high-and-mighty throne saying that those things were wrong? Mello hated being a follower, so why give a fuck about rules now? Didn't he tell Matt that he was willing to have sex if it meant freedom and adventure? He needed to suck it up and go with the flow. Besides, the feelings he was experiencing at the moment weren't bad at all. Maybe this sex thing wouldn't be too terrible? That would be even better! He could enjoy having sex, be given whatever he wanted, move wherever he wanted, be worshipped and adored, and go to sleep at whatever hour he chose. It was the perfect deal. Never mind the fact that he was twelve years old.

By now, L had lost his shirt as well and was tongue-fucking Mello's bellybutton. The blond was squealing in delight and his fingers clenched the wild raven locks desperately. Shocks of sensations rocked through his body and he felt himself reacting in ways that he had never imagined. Tears of sensory overload stung at his eyes, but L didn't stop. He was too far gone to hold himself back any longer. Years of bottled up frustrations and shame, rage and sorrow, dreams and desires, all of it was pouring out of him now, washing over the beautiful angel that squirmed beneath him.

Both hands worked Mello's snug jeans off, even as his mouth continued its assault on the young boy. Mello's hands struggled with pushing him away one moment and then pulling him closer the next. It only made L smile wider and as he allowed his eyes to open and soak in the gorgeous sight, he couldn't help but think that he had never witnessed a more erotic scene. Not even all those late night bondage shows Light would perform could compare. All that was left on the little boy were his clean boxers. Cute little stripes decorated the fabric, but L didn't have time to appreciate its aesthetic qualities; he was far more interested in what was hidden beneath that material.

Panting filled the air around them. Mello blushing terribly and wheezing from all the excitement and attention, and L eager to explore more and seal their love with the intimate act of making love. What did it matter that they had only known each other for a few weeks or that they had only run away the night before? He was in love and he was going to prove it. Reverently, he hooked his fingers under the elastic waistband. Mello whimpered nervously, but L was persistent. Those damn things were coming off. With gentle tugs, he pulled away the obstacle and threw them clear across the room; there was no way that those things were getting in his way anymore tonight. The beautiful nude body beneath him brought tears to his eyes. It was stunning and absolutely beautiful. If he were a poet he would have spouted out sonnets and other love poems of perfection, beauty, and everlasting passion; if he were a musician, he would have created albums of songs dedicated to only one person and fill them with notes of adoration and lyrics of devotion.

"My beautiful, stunning, angel," he whispered, a few tears streaking down his pale face. Those eyes were shining with such emotion that they could hardly be recognized as the hollow empty orbs that looked so much like Near's.

Mello's only reply was a few incoherent mumbles and a bashful turn on his head. It was adorable.

"Don't worry, you're doing just fine. Now just wait here for a second." Grunting at the discomfort of having to walk around with his raging hard on, L hurried to the bathroom to procure the needed jar of petroleum jelly. He didn't have time to purchase some real lube, but the oily substance would work far better than lotion. On his way back to the bed, he shed his annoying jeans and boxer briefs. Mello's eyes bulged out as they took in the breathtaking sight of his well-endowed member. Fear flashed through them too, but L ignored it; things would all work out. "I'll penetrate you with my fingers first so that your body can prepare, so you really don't need to worry."

Mello didn't look convinced. "Uh, what exactly are you planning on doing with _that_?"

"Engage in anal intercourse with you," L replied, completely unfazed.

It didn't take the genius child long to dissect those words and come up with a conclusion on what sex really entailed. "You want to put that in me?"

L nodded eagerly. "Of course! But like I said, I'll penetrate you first with my fingers so that your body will loosen up enough to take me."

"But that's, like, the size of my freakin' arm!"

"I appreciate you attempt at complimenting me, but it's not quite that large. You'll be fine."

"Says you! You're not the one about to be drilled by a damn log!"

L laughed, and grabbed the boy's ankle completely unperturbed. "No need for such a fuss. You'll be fine."

Against his better judgment, Mello didn't offer much of a struggle as L dipped his fingers into the greasy stuff and leaned over to tease the virgin entrance. He was 100% confident that L's huge cock was never going to fit, so he decided that letting the old guy penetrate him with his fingers couldn't be that bad. Also, he would be able to tell Matt that he knew all about sex now. "If this hurts, I'll kick your teeth out," Mello warned.

L appeased him with a kiss to the arch of his restless foot. "My fingers won't hurt you. Now, take some deep breaths and relax your muscles. It'll feel strange, but you can't tense up. That only makes it more uncomfortable for you and harder for me to stretch you out."

Sex was sounding worse and worse. "Just do it already," he hissed in annoyance.

"Of course, love," L replied warmly.

Turning all of his attention to his teasing fingers, he pressed against the soft flesh delicately with his forefinger. After a second of resistance, his slickened finger slid into the boy's body. Mello clenched his eyes shut and began breathing even more heavily. It was just one finger, but the feeling was already too much. It was unlike anything he had ever felt and his body seemed to agree. The muscles clenched and convulsed, trying to push the foreign object out. L groaned at the feeling of the body working around his finger; just imagining what it would feel like once he was buried to the hilt was enough to give him a climax. Pulling his finger out of the boy, he allowed his lubed hand to jerk his excited member as completion claimed him. His whole body tensed as the waves of orgasm raced through him and his mouth opened in a silent scream. Mello watched, completely enraptured, as the older man squeezed his eyes shut and released onto the crisp bed sheets. The power throbbing in that intimidating member made him sigh in relief that he wasn't being fucked by that thing. If L shot his load into his little body, well, he wasn't sure if he'd live to tell about it.

As L continued to rest his forehead against the sheets and breathe deeply, Mello felt a tinge of concern. "Um, are you okay?" he whispered, pulling his legs up to his chest.

A lazy eye opened to examine the boy and he wearily raised his forefinger in a sign of "give me a second". Never had orgasm swept him away like that, and yet he hadn't even penetrated the boy with his cock. This was going to be the best night of his life. Just looking at the boy chewing his lip nervously and rocking back and forth a little was enough to engorge his more than eager flesh. "I'm fine," he croaked, before forcing himself to sit up. Taking a deep breath to calm his sudden dizziness, he turned his attention back to Mello. "Don't worry, I'm still young enough to be able to get off several times before I'm finished."

Mello wasn't sure how that was good news. "R-really, you look tired. Why don't we just go to sleep?"

L grinned wickedly, and grabbed a thin ankle once more to pull his little lover closer to him. "I think I can handle it."

A whimper escaped the blond as L dipped his finger back into the jar of grease and proceeded to shove his finger back into the squirming body. This time, he didn't allow himself to get too turned on by the writhing body, and only focused on two things: stretching those muscles out and finding the prostate. Using his free hand to keep a firm grip on Mello's hips, he eased his middle finger into the tight hole. Mello cried out in pain as he tried to scissor the fingers, so he settled for screwcorking them in and out of him. Surely the prostate wasn't that hard to find; after all, B-

"Nyaaaah!" Mello cried out, throwing his head back. It felt as if fire was coursing through his veins.

"Ah, found it," L panted. His tongue peeked between his lips and he focused on rubbing that spot. Now that he knew where it was, he needed to find the correct balance of pleasure for his little angel. Knowing that Mello was a virgin, he had to be careful not to let him release quite yet or he'd be far too tired to carry on. So, he needed to give pleasure, but not too much. Once Mello's endurance got better, he would be able to lavish far more attention.

Pulling his fingers out with a squelch, he coated them with even more of the lubrication. He was going to be 100% sure that this would be fairly easy for the boy. It would be impossible for him not to feel some pain, but with so much lube it would be a lot easier. This time, he pressed three fingers in right off the bat. Mello jerked back unhappily at the slight pain and kicked the man right in the collarbone.

"Hey, that hurts!" he whined.

"I apologize," L mumbled, pushing deep enough for his middle finger to stroke the prostate. "There will be some pain, but it will pass."

"How do you know?" Mello hissed. He was angry now.

Sighing, he looked up into the boy's blazing turquoise eyes. "I'm not a virgin Mello. When I was six I watched helplessly as my younger brother was raped brutally. I did nothing to protect him and a few years later I paid for it. He made sure that my first time was harsh just like his was."

Mello's eyes bulged. "He raped you?"

L tilted his head a little. "No…no, I wouldn't say that he raped me. Our relationship was consensual, but he was angry enough to show me what it felt like. Of course, he was nowhere near as harsh as the man who raped him was. Beyond is cruel, but he couldn't bring himself to be that cruel."

The young boy wasn't sure what to make of all that. L had a consensual relationship with his younger brother? And he wasn't mad about being sort-of raped? "But what happened? I mean, you're not cheating on him with me, are you?" Mello was willing to do many things, but participating with a cheating spouse wasn't one of those. He would put an end to this game instantly if that was the case.

"Of course not," L reassured him. "B and I broke off years ago." Suffice it to say that he didn't want to mention that his brother was now a convicted serial killer and in a crazy institution. "You're the only one for me, Mello, and I promise that I will make this as comfortable as I can. You have to trust me, though."

A warm feeling spread through Mello's chest and although he couldn't give it a name, it made him feel a little safer. There was no sign of lies in those wide eyes and L had been nothing but honest with him up until now. He had even shared such a private matter! Looking down at his own thin body, Mello decided that he could do this. He was not a wimp that cried over every prick of pain and if L could take it from his brother (who was undoubtedly just as big), then Mello sure as hell could handle it; he would not lose!

"I'm not a weak little girl," he stated haughtily with an upturn of his chin. "My name is Mihael Keehl, and I am not scared of anything."

L chuckled. His little angel sure had a flair for the dramatic. "That's good, because there are plenty of things that I'm scared of. You can save me."

Mello nodded. He would protect the older man if he had to. Not because he was developing feelings or anything, but because L was too helpless. He was a child trapped in an adult's body and just wanted companionship. "Let's get it on," he ordered.

This time, things went more smoothly. It was still painful for Mello, but he didn't complain. Instead, he squirmed around to find ways of easing the pain. L would kindly stroke that place inside of him to take his mind off of the discomfort. Still nervous about his girth, L even went so far as to add a fourth finger to stretch out the youthful muscles. A few tears slipped down Mello's face, but he had bravely endured it.

Finally, it was time. L placed a folded pillow under the arch of Mello's back for extra support and lifted both lean legs over his shoulders to make it easier on the both of them. Nervousness shone in both of their eyes, and L reached out and intertwined his fingers with Mello's. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Mello choked as he struggled to keep still and relaxed.

L's free hand guided his member to the well-prepared orifice and upon contact he used it to widen the way a little. This time, Mello couldn't hold back the whimper as he felt the cock slide into him. L squeezed his hand and continued to push in. It didn't take long for him to be fully sheathed inside the heat.

"Haahn, M-mello!" The pleasure of the body clenching around the unfamiliar intrusion was almost enough to make him black out.

As he adjusted a little within the boy's body, he rubbed against that special spot, making Mello jerk. "Hyaaa!"

It was beautiful. Now using his free hand to stroke the boy's cock, he pulled out and thrusted back smoothly. This caused a few more tears to break free, but he continued with the slow, measured motions. He knew that it would get better soon, and it was impossible for him to rest still in that glorious body. Mello was more than he had ever dared to imagine. All of his fantasies had been put to shame by this angel and at that moment he didn't hate himself or the world that he lived in. After all, anything that brought forth this Mello couldn't be that bad.

"C-can't, ooohh, I, ngh." Mello thrashed his head side-to-side as he struggled to get coherent words out.

L was faring no better. He didn't even attempt to communicate with words and focused on letting his body do the talking. The slow deep thrusts began increasing in pace eliciting a wail from the small boy. Mello's little fists clenched the sheets and his eyes screwed shut as climax swept through him. His body clamped down on L's cock making it impossible to push in any more. Trying to swallow down his own scream, L forced his mouth over Mello's and roughly kissed the breath right out of him. Orgasm came just as expected: toe-curling and mind numbing.

When his senses returned, L realized that he was squishing Mello underneath his weight, so he delicately pulled himself out of the exhausted boy. There was a little bit of blood on the sheets, but thanks to the petroleum jelly it wasn't too bad. The older man rolled to his side and pulled Mello's limp body up against his sweaty body. "I love you," he whispered passionately.

Mello just let out a weary whimper and allowed his eyes to slide shut.

/_/_/_/

Pale lips gently pressed against Mello's fluttering eyelids, and bony fingers stroked the child's soft flesh. A contented sigh brushed against disheveled golden bangs. If he hadn't experienced ecstasy the previous night, then there was no such thing in the cold world. For the first time in his life, L had slept peacefully and with a contented feeling melting the ice surrounding his heart. It felt as if the missing piece of his existence had been found and he was now complete.

"Good morning," he whispered, brushing a delicate kiss against the boy's lips.

Mello scrunched up his nose before cracking an eye open. "Ngh, go away," he groaned before turning to bury his face into the fluffy pillow. L just chuckled and pulled Mello's body right up against his own body. Warmth radiated from the little body and he was more than eager to soak it all in. "Go away!" Mello yelled as he felt what else was eager.

"Aww, but I just want to cuddle."

"I promise, if you even _think_ about anything more than cuddling, I'll rip that monster right off of you."

"My, you are quite violent at such an hour."

"Well, excuuuseee me, but my ass hurts like a bitch right now."

"'M sorry," L muttered as he rested his face in the wonderful bed of golden hair. The scent of their lovemaking was still heady and it made him stiffen more. Still, he would resist. "I'll get you something chocolate for breakfast, okay?"

Striking eyes peeked up and a small smile curled on the thin lips. "Can I order my own breakfast?"

"Of course, love." L pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "Order whatever you want and I'll pay for it."

That instantly got the child in a good mood. He was probably going to order every chocolate item from the menu, but L didn't give a damn. As long as his little angel was happy, he was happy. "Send down the order and then you can take a bath."

Mello looked down at himself and shook his head. "Yeah. I feel gross."

"That's why you can go first," L explained. "I'm older so I'm not all that bothered. Besides, I wasn't the one taking it up the ass."

Mello smacked him on the bare arm. "Shut up! Perverted old man."

The childish grin curled on the pale man's face. "Ah, yes, that's what I am. When you shower, make sure to wash up there as well." Mello's face blushed. "You're probably still loosened up enough, so you can use your own fingers to wash well. If you're having any problems, just let me know and I can help. I'll probably have to teach you how to do a dry enema as well later…"

"Pervert," Mello grumbled as he pulled the blanket higher up around him. "Now, where's the menu?"

"I'll get it for you." L paused before he stepped out from their shared bed. He leaned over and placed a quick kiss on the boy's lips.

"Ewwww, morning breath!" Mello squealed as he buried his head under the covers.

L patted the round lump he assumed was the boy's bum. "I love you too."

/_/_/_/

When the police arrived, he was ready. All toys had been put away and hidden at Mikami's shared apartment with Misa, and all the evidence of sexual deviance was buried. To the casual eye, and even the experienced police eye, all was normal. Light Yagami was a highly successful author who took his work and looks seriously. Nothing more.

"Can I help you, gentlemen?" he asked in a slightly surprised tone. He was not stupid, so he wouldn't act like a complete ignoramus, but he was also "unaware" of what L did, so he needed to be surprised.

"Sorry to bother you Mr. Yagami," the young officer offered with a tip of his hat. The older gentleman behind him did the same. Obviously, they were both aware of his status as the son of Japan's most honored officer. His father had been to America often, learning from the police force as well as sharing information. He was especially well-liked in this area which made it the perfect place to live. Random people couldn't harass him without the entire police squad going after them.

"Not at all. What's going on? Is my father all right?" Play ignorant.

"It's not your father, sir. Actually, it's…your friend."

Light looked up as if trying to figure out which friend they were talking about. Truthfully, he only had one friend. "Um, I don't-" he hesitated, suggesting that he had no clue what they were talking about.

"Do you admit to being friends with a certain…L Lawliet?" The officer had paused to double-check his notepad.

"Of course. He's a wonderful artist and I bought a few pieces from his collection. Goodness, is he okay?" Laying it on thick and sweet. Hell, these guys were such fools.

"Actually, can we come in?"

"Yes, absolutely!" He stepped aside to let both officers inside. His cheek twitched as their outdoor shoes stepped onto his immaculate _indoor_ carpet. Calm down, it was no time to let his OCD freak out. Once he closed the door, he turned to face the grim men. "So what happened?"

The two of them proceeded to tell him everything that he already knew. L had kidnapped a boy late last night and they had both managed to use fake IDs to get a plane ride to the great Melting-Pot, New York City. It was good to know that those IDs he provided Loli actually worked. Also, they shared the highly private fact that L was considered an extremely dangerous pedophile by his caretaker of 16 years. The entire time, he kept a carefully placed hand over his mouth and a look of surprise, concern, and horror.

"I can't believe that he would do such a thing!" Light lamented. "He was always so quiet and never had a lover, but I never imagine that it was because…because…"

The younger officer looked a little distressed at having upset the greatest author of the century. He was probably a fan. "Sir, we're so sorry! It's not your fault at all and no one wants to blame you. How could you have known?"

"Actually," the older officer started. "It would be best if you let us check through your house real quick. We just want to make sure that there's no evidence of you helping him with this nefarious criminal act. If you allow us to do this now, it would go a long way in clearing you of suspicion."

"Yes, of course! Please feel free to look around. I'll do anything to help!"

As those two idiots went in search of non-existent evidence, he went to the kitchen to put on some tea. He smiled down at the heating water as he thought about L not having been caught yet. That counterfeiter that he bought the IDs from was going to get an extremely nice bonus for his set of cards. Surely L was smart enough to throw away his first set already. He had sixteen more cards to go through; if he didn't get caught, that is. Upon thinking about that, his almost maternal instincts kicked in. He was going to have to load up his other accounts with money to ensure that L never had money problems, and buy a few more IDs in case that idiot lost his. Another set of passports would be good too.

"Mr. Yagami, we've finished up," the young officer announced as the two of them stepped into his kitchen.

It took Light every ounce of control not to yell at them for not having the common decency to wash their hands before touching his belongings or walking around in their dirty shoes. He would just have Misa and Mikami disinfect the house for him in the nude. "I trust that everything was in order?"

The older officer nodded. "Thank you for all of your cooperation, Mr. Yagami. We'll probably drop in if we need something else."

"Of course, feel free! I'll do anything to help." Tch, yeah right.

/_/_/_/

Maybe he was crazy. That seemed to be the only explanation Almost could come up with as he walked to Beyond's room with a tray of highly nutritious food. It had been a couple of weeks since L sent the jar of strawberry jam to his brother. The police had come to ask B questions, but the poor guy seemed so devastated. He refused to answer any questions they had and only laughed. Sadly, his eyes shared none of the mirth his throat could produce, and he looked far more dead than usual. At least that's what the other nurses told him. Almost had never seen an alive looking Beyond, and for some reason that bothered him.

Once inside the padded cell, he walked over to the curled up man and sat next to him. "Hey, it's me again. I brought you some dinner." B didn't budge. "Oh, come now, don't be stubborn. Food's good for you." Still nothing. Almost sighed and moved closer to pull off the gag. Yes, he must be absolutely bonkers because he didn't feel scared of putting his fingers close to the very same mouth that had successfully severed another nurse's finger. "You're just being a bit of a baby, aren't you?"

Dark eyes flashed and the sharp pain shot through his hand as teeth sunk into the soft flesh between his thumb and forefinger. What should have been Almost's first instinct was to scream out in pain and for help, but strangely enough he didn't do that. He stared down at the furious looking man. At not getting any reaction, he bit down harder. Almost winced and bit his own lip to keep from crying out. A few tears slipped out, but he refused to scream. He would not let the guards come in and gag the poor guy, forbidding him yet another meal.

"You, ah, shouldn't really do that," he whimpered. "Th-they take enough of your meals away. J-just, please, eat."

The pressure of those formidable jaws released, but B wasn't finished yet. Staring up into the honey colored eyes, he stuck out his tongue and lapped at the blood from the wound. For some reason, Almost felt himself blush as those intense eyes stared at him. Beyond's tongue was so warm and soft even as it dug cruelly into the jagged wound. His pale lips jutted out a little to press against the wound and suck some more blood. Then he pulled back, blood smeared across his lips and cheek and smirked haughtily. "Who said that I wasn't eating?" he questioned in a surprisingly deep voice. It was nothing like his desperate crying laugh. "Don't you know that I have an obsession with blood?"

Almost shook his head. "N-no."

"And let's just say that I have cannibalistic tendencies as well," he purred. "What's to say that I won't tear you apart right here and feast on your flesh and blood?"

There was fear coursing through the young nurse, making his whole body tremble, but he didn't run or scream. Maybe he couldn't. "Because…I brought you good food?"

A smile broke across the bloody face as B soaked in the unexpected response. This was a particularly stupid and amusing nurse. "You're definitely not like all the other nurses."

"Thank you?"

"You're pretty dumb."

"Hey! That's rude! And for your information, I have a high enough IQ to be considered a genius!"

"…Then why the hell are you in here with a convicted serial kill who is known for causing damage to the idiots who come near him?"

Almost opened his mouth to answer, but he couldn't think of a particularly good response. It would be true to say that he had been coerced into coming here, and that would have been true the first time, but after he saw the damaged man laughing at the gift he had come willingly. There was just something about this guy, something that made him want to dig in a little more, to see what he really looked like. So, the nurse settled for a shrug. "No one else would come in here and I couldn't stand the idea of letting you starve. So, eat up. And not me, the food I brought." Wincing as he looked down at his still bleeding bite wound, he tried to think of how he was going to wrap it up and hide it from the others. When B didn't make a move for the food, Almost looked up in annoyance. "What now?"

B just stared at him. "Yup, you're an idiot. I'm in a _straightjacket_. I can't feed myself."

This guy really did make him feel stupid. "Er, sorry. Here, I'll feed you." Looking down, he also realized that there were no utensils. They didn't want a crazy murderer gaining any potential weapons, like a spork of death or something.

Huffing, he scooted closer to the man and lifted a chicken nugget up to the insane man's lips with his bleeding hand. He wasn't worried about getting blood on the food because this nutcase would eat it anyway. Which was gross. Oh well. Beyond stared at him curiously, but he did lean in and take the chunk of meat. Not bothering to get up from his sideways position on the floor, he just watched the strange nurse as he fed him. On a whim, when he took another piece of chicken between his teeth, he moved up and took Almost's fingers into his warm mouth. The young man froze, but didn't protest. Beyond sucked gently on the digits, stroking them with his nimble tongue. The wet appendage squirmed around the fingers, squeezing between them before swirling around them. With a pop, B pulled away and grinned widely as he took in Almost's crimson blush.

/_/_/_/

In some ways, running from the law was a lot harder than it seemed, and in others, it wasn't so bad. In the few weeks they had been on the run, L had given out his real name 16 times, said "Mello" in public 68 times, and had to refer to their fake IDs for their names 53 times. He even forgot to speak in an American accent more times than could be counted and Mello had to shoot him annoyed looks. Surprisingly, the blond didn't seem to have nearly as many problems as his older lover.

But, the worst part was that Mello had refused to have sex with L during those few weeks, saying that he was still sore. Liar. He was just far too interested in watching all those educational shows on the television when they stopped at hotels and he was completely intrigued by the historical sites of the American Northeast. From New York City, they had gone down and hit the large cities in order to sight see. Independence Hall, Boston Harbor, battlefields, Washington Monument, they saw it all. They even spent a good amount of time at the large libraries where Mello would pore over the books as if his life depended on him reading every single word ever printed. Getting desperate, he managed to convince the boy to at least give him a blow job on occasion. As usual, Mello denied him at first, but then thought better of leaving the old pervert too sexually frustrated. At first, he had been quite rough (the biting was highly annoying), but after some practice he got pretty good. The little angel was a quick learner and loved driving L to the edge as fast as humanly possible. L could swear that Mello was keeping times now and treating it as some sort of game.

At the moment, they were driving down the Historical Route 66 with the windows of their junkie car rolled down. Mello had his bare feet up on the dashboard, and he was holding his unruly hair back as the wind whipped through the vehicle. Sweat beaded on his forehead and trailed down his graceful neck as he lazily watched the scenery fly past.

"Why'd you have to get a junker for a car?" Mello asked lethargically.

"I'm not one to be particularly picky at the moment," L retorted, adjusting the headband holding back his crazy bangs. He looked like a mess too, with his usual shirt tossed in the backseat, sweat rolling down his chiseled chest and abs, and nothing but boxers covering his lower half. He was even driving bare-footed. "It was a good deal and the guy wouldn't ask questions since I gave him cash."

"Yeah, but not even air conditioning?" the boy whined.

"Fresh air is good for growing young boys," he retorted. A smile of pity curled on his lips as he watched the boy fan himself with his elegant hand. "Would you like me to stop and buy you an ice cream?"

Those wide eyes sparkled with life immediately upon hearing about a nice cool treat. "Yeah! A chocolate one!"

"Of course, love. Do I at least get a kiss?" he chuckled.

"Why not?" Mello said with a shrug. The faster we get it, the better the treat I give you."

Ah, that was too tempting. Thankfully, the boy didn't know anything about driving or navigating and didn't realize that there was a station coming up at the next exit. L was practically drooling as he wondered what the beautiful little minx was planning. In under a minute, he was pulling into a dusty looking gas station and Mello's eyes widened in surprise.

"Mmm, I think that I made excellent time," he teased, pinching Mello's cheek.

"You set me up, bastard!"

L just laughed. "You're the one who decided of your own good will to offer such a treat to me. I had nothing to do with that."

Mello lifted an eyebrow in a challenge. "Well? Do they have any ice cream here? Chocolate ice cream?"

"I'll check, love."

Slipping on some recently bought hemp sandals, L slid out of the car and shuffled into the antique looking station. An old man with greasy overalls stared at him as he wandered through the shop in nothing but his boxers. His sweaty boxers. Thankfully, he didn't say anything and L focused on looking for chocolate ice cream and some cooler clothes for the two of them to wear. The clothes were a no go, but he did find some chocolate ice cream sandwiches. Doing a victory fist pump, he grabbed four of them and a few bags of gummy worms. They were a lot more heat resistant than a bunch of other candy.

"Is this all?" the man asked politely, still staring at the pale man's strange posture and attire.

L nodded and pulled out his wallet. "Do you know where I can buy some appropriate clothes for this weather for myself and my son?"

"Sure thing. If you take a right out here from the gas station, jus' go down 'bout fifteen minutes. That'll bring you to the town and you can stop at Milly's; it'll be on your right. Jus' tell her that Henry sent you in and you'll be fine."

"Thanks," L mumbled in appreciation. He gave the man his best non-creepy smile and headed out to give his lover the cool treats. "I believe that you owe me a kiss," he teased as he presented the ice cream.

Mello pouted, but he was far too hot to complain. "You'll have to wait until I finish the ice cream."

"That's fine." L kept one of the ice cream sandwiches for himself and gave the rest to the eager boy. They sat in the parking lot, enjoying the treat in the shade. A hot breeze blew by, ruffling their hair, but L just smiled. He seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. Nonchalantly, he reached over and took the boy's hand into his own. The two of them just sat in the hot car, all alone at the gas station, and holding hands.

Once Mello was finished, he licked his sticky fingers and looked up at the eagerly awaiting man. He winked mischievously. "Come on, let's take it to the bathroom or that old fart will see us."

L nodded obediently and leaped out of the car, leading the way to the single stalled bathroom. Since there was no one around, they weren't too worried about being rushed. Mello wrinkled his nose at the shabby yet clean place. Paint was peeling from the walls and all kinds of messages were scrawled across everything. "I could wait if you don't like this place," L suggested, though inside he was anything but patient.

Mello shook his head. "Nope, this'll be fine." Grinning sultrily, he pushed the man up against the wall and dropped to his knees. L moaned loudly even before the blond had a chance to touch him. Just seeing the boy on his knees was enough to turn him on. "Pervert," the child cooed before he blew his cold breath on the slit in the front of the boxers.

Slipping his hand inside, he gripped the stiffening flesh and pulled it out. His small fists worked over the heated flesh for a few minutes, playing the older man like an instrument. Then, without warning, he opened his mouth and took in as much of the throbbing cock as he could. The inside of his mouth was still cold from the three ice cream sandwiches and the strange sensation made L gasp and thrust forward a little. Mello shot him a dirty look before using both hands to keep a grip on the bony hips in front of him. Beginning to hum, he bobbed his head around the monstrosity smoothly using his tongue and cheeks and even a little bit of his teeth to drive the old man wild.

Just as quickly as expected, L pulled the boy away from his cock and released over Mello's face. The blond sat back on his heels patiently waiting for L to wipe the jizz off his face. It was no fun to get that stuff in your eye. Still panting, L slumped to his knees and licked the cum from his lover's cheek. Mello squeaked in surprise and tried to push L away, but he just held the boy close and licked his face clean. This was the first time he had really done anything remotely kinky, but he was glad that Mello wasn't kicking or screaming. Or punching him in the balls, because that always hurt. "Thanks for the treat," he purred, giving Mello's nose a final lick."

"What, are you a cat or something?" Mello mumbled in embarrassment.

"That would make you my little kitty."

"Weirdo. Pervert."

"Hmm, we're going to have to broaden your vocabulary."

Quickly, they left the gas station and headed to the clothes shop. The little town that they came to almost looked like something you would only see in movies with its small mom and pop shops and wooden slates. He was almost expecting to see horses and buggies too. Thankfully, the inside of Milly's Clothing Boutique was a lot more modern than the outside was. She stared at the two boys and looked ready to kick L out for being practically naked, but after mentioning Henry she let them stay. Mello perused the kid aisles while L just headed for the shorts. After a few seconds contemplation, he picked out some khaki and stonewashed jean shorts with a few low-key t-shirts. He would need those for the "no shoes, no shirt, no service" businesses that he would bump into. Having gotten his clothes, he moved over to Mello and was surprised to see that the boy hadn't even picked out a single article of clothing.

"Huh? Didn't you like anything?" he questioned.

Mello looked up at him weirdly. "Dad, it's been like two seconds. I'm thinking."

Ah, that's right. He must remember that Mello was Mark…or…was it Melrose? Joseph? Damn it, he needed to check the IDs again. "Well, there's no rush. But don't take too long."

"Whatever." Mello crossed his arms with a huff and examined the racks. Why was L always so pushy? Couldn't he pick out his freakin' clothes in peace? It wasn't enough that the guy hounded him for sex every hour of the day and bought a stupid car that didn't have air conditioning, but he was always rushing Mello.

"Why don't we buy this?" L suggested, showing a poison green halter top.

"Dad, that's a girl's shirt," he hissed in annoyance.

"I know."

Sigh of annoyance. "Now why would I wear a girl's shirt?"

L lowered his tone so that Mello would be the only one to hear it. "Because I'm a wanted man who kidnapped a _boy_ and not a cute little girl. You could pass off as one, and besides, I'd love to see you in some girly clothes."

Mello really had to restrain himself from throwing a punch at that stupid face. Those dead fish eyes just stared at him as if what he was saying was completely logical and okay. It didn't matter that his pride would be greatly wounded if he wore girl's clothing. Then again, that perverted guy stuck his thumb into his mouth as he held up the shirt enticingly and nibbled cutely on the digit. He looked really excited by the idea and Mello couldn't find it in himself to disappoint the guy. It's not like he never thought about cross-dressing before.

"Dammit," he grumbled as he snatched the shirt from the older man. "You owe me for this. And I get to pick my whole wardrobe, okay?"

L nodded excitedly and went to pay for his stuff. He was already imagining his lovely little angel in that shirt and some nice short shorts. The image was absolutely delectable. That boy had sinfully perfect legs and arms and back and…everything. Milly looked at him strangely as a perverted grin crossed his lips.

"Are you ready, little lady?" she asked as soon as Mello stepped forward with his arms full of bold colors and dark tones.

Mello stepped behind L in faux shyness so that his voice wouldn't give away his true gender. "That'll be all," L replied for his lover, his grin glued in place. He was far too excited about buying Mello little girl clothing, so Mello pinched the back of his leg in irritation.

Once all the clothes were bagged, the two runaways trudged back out into the heat and into their paint-faded vehicle. Once they were back on the road, L pulled off to the shoulder so that the two of them could change their clothes in relative peace. Also, he was sure that if Mello started changing while he was driving, they would end up in a ditch or something because it would be physically impossible to keep his eyes off the boy.

"You suck," Mello complained as he pulled out the green top and a cute camouflage skirt.

"Thank you," L grunted as he pulled off his boxers.

Mello caught sight of what he was doing and blushed. "What the heck are you doing?"

"It's too hot to wear boxers and shorts, so I'll just wear shorts."

The boy snickered as he watched the older man struggle to get his pants on with the steering wheel in his way. "Don't get your dick stuck in the zipper."

"That's quite an unpleasant thing to say," L mumbled as he carefully zipped his pants up. He didn't want to be jinxed or anything.

Mello shrugged and pulled his brand new clothes over his lithe form. Shockingly to him, the clothes clung quite nicely to his pre-pubescent form and flattered his well-shaped legs. The clothes probably fit well because they were meant for girls before they developed breasts. "Hey, these aren't that bad," he mumbled. Although he meant that comment more for himself, L heard it and chuckled.

"I told you so." His hand reached over to stroke the soft material and he sighed happily. That color really did make Mello's eyes pop out more, it was perfect. "Kiss?"

The blond nodded and leaned in to kiss L deeply. He wasn't scared of using his tongue anymore and it seemed that every time they kissed he got better and better. That warm fuzzy feeling bubbled up again, and he willingly pressed his chest against the other's and wrapped his arm around the man's neck. However, the day was too hot for them to stay in that position for long, so when they pulled away, L got back to driving. The long winding road flew under them and the scenery seemed to melt past.

"I just thought of something, Mello."

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to live in a cabin for a while? Like, a cabin in the Rocky Mountains?"

He thought about it for a moment and smiled. "That's kind of cool sounding."

"It would be perfect for us. I mean, we'd be living by ourselves and away from anyone who would want to turn us in, we'd be self-sufficient, and we could be outdoorsy people. It would be a part of our adventure!"

Mello chuckled at the thought of L going out to hunt bear in the wee hours of the morning. "That's not a bad idea! Let's do it!"

And for L's not-so-chaste reasons: if they were settled down somewhere, Mello couldn't deny him intimacy forever. It was true that the cabin would be an adventure, but it would also give the two of them a chance to settle down and get to know each other better. It would work out beautifully.

/_/_/_/

"This is serious, young man. If you know anything at all, you have to tell us."

Blue eyes looked up at the police officer unimpressed by the man's authoritative tone. If anything, it just pissed him off. "I told you all ready. I have no clue where Mello is."

"That's impossible!" he man yelled as he slammed his fist on the table. Matt didn't flinch. "You're his roommate and have been his friends for six years! There's no way that you 'woke up to find him missing'. You're a damn liar!"

Matt just shrugged and leaned back into the chair. These dicks weren't going to get him to say anything to betray Mello. It was true, though; he had no idea where the rash blond was headed and the reason for that was simple. Mello didn't know what he and L were going to do, so how could he tell Matt?

After another hour of being drilled by the stern man, Mr. Wammy finally gave him permission to go to his room; that was code for he was being grounded. On his way to what used to be his and Mello's room, he heard someone call out his name. Turning to look, he smiled as he saw Near standing around one of the corners, peeking shyly at the brunette.

"Are you in trouble?" he asked stoically, even as his cheeks turned a little pink.

"Just got grounded," he grumbled as he sauntered over to Mello's arch-enemy. "It's no big deal."

"I can…loan you some of my toys. If you want. You don't have to."

Matt giggled girlishly and stroked the younger boy's cheek. "It's fine. You can play with your toys. If you really want to help out, I'd love it if you'd come over to our, I mean, my room."

A spark of light shone in those onyx eyes for a fraction of a second before Near pulled away from the touch and nodded. With that, he shuffled away quickly, afraid that Matt would be able to see him grinning stupidly.

* * *

**Author's Notes: So, I finally updated this! Don't kill me for the delay! XD Please review and let me know how you guys felt about this chapter. I seriously think that was the longest foreplay and shortest actual sex I've ever written. Still, it was fun and I hope that you all will understand the complexities of this story. Every single thought of every character is very important and as is in real life, it's possible that they will change. Also, Mello may seem like a bratty little kid, but that's how he was before he ran away with L; it's already in his character and he's not going to change it for just anyone. Besides, he's still a little kid, so it's understandable if he's whiny. XD As usual, this wasn't checked by anyone other than myself, so feel free to point out any errors.**

**Thanks for reading, and I hope that you will enjoy this story 'till the end.**


	4. Act four: Hurting

**Warning: non-con, filthy language, and underage sex.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or it's characters. I merely manipulate them for my wicked pleasure.**

**

* * *

**"I could get in serious trouble for doing this!"

B ignored the nervous nurse and took a deep refreshing breath of clean cold air. His free arms lifted up as if he were going to suddenly take flight in the stillness of the night and soar away. With his dark eyes shut, one might almost mistaken him for someone normal; lonely, but normal.

"If you're that worried, then you wouldn't have let me come up here in the first place."

Almost sighed and shook his head. The cold air was biting right through him. "But I couldn't help it with you looking all sad and depressed."

The twisted smile curled up on the murderer's lips. This nurse was definitely a strange one; ever since he had shown up, it had been easier and easier for him to push thoughts of his _beloved _Lawliet to the side. Almost Always was a constant source of entertainment for him, and if nothing else, it was sickeningly easy to manipulate him. What kind of dimwits would allow such a weak nurse into a mental institute? It wasn't hard to see the stares of the other inhabitants, the way they looked at the delicate boy as if he were the next meal. Truthfully, he was. Too soft, too nice, too weak.

Even now, he was standing on the roof of the asylum with a serial killer, shivering from the cold. The stars blinked slowly as if they too were shivering, and yet the bright security lights that casted an orange glow along the entire area seemed like the opposite, a warming source. Eyes that only saw death slowly made their appearance from behind eyelids, glancing down six stories to see the security men milling about.

"You're an idiot, Almost. It's just too easy to use you. I could kill you up here, you know."

The boy shivered, not of cold this time, but he stood his ground. "You could."

In one quick motion, B grabbed the young man and shoved him against the edge of the roof. Honey gold eyes widened in surprise, but Almost didn't make any attempts to struggle against the steely cold hands wrapped around his neck. "I should. I should just shove you over the edge and then go back to my cell. They'd think it was a suicide, that you couldn't take working here anymore and decided to end it. It's not uncommon for people who work here to go insane themselves."

Those eyes never left his own blood stained eyes. "You wouldn't," the young nurse whispered, his thin hands coming up to cover Beyond's hands. "You have the ability to do it, but you won't." By now, his voice was shaking, betraying his abnormally calm expression.

A familiar hunger ate at his stomach, making the raven haired man clench his hands, easily squeezed the nurse's airway shut. Almost struggled feebly, as if he was uncertain. Uncertain of what? Humans were creatures that only survived because of their self-preservation instinct. It was an instinct that could make an average sized woman kill a man with her bare hands or could make a man fight off a wild beast just to live another day. True, that instinct wasn't strong in everyone, but most people at least attempted to save themselves. Not this stupid nurse. By some misguided notion, he was choosing not to put up a decent fight. His body was more than ready to struggle, but something in his mind was holding him back.

Did he think that he would be spared?

Fool.

The pressure was released and Almost gasped for air, wheezing. Bruises were already forming on his neck and surely there was internal damage. As he coughed in pain, some tears slipped out, joining the saliva he coughed up on the cement roof. Beyond stared at him for a moment before shoving him back against the edge.

"Never tell me what to do," he snarled, loving the fear that was now reflecting in those glassy eyes. "Do you understand?" The brunette nodded, his bruised throat not allowing any verbal communication. "Good."

His deathly pale hand reached up to brush back a light brown lock of hair out of the nurse's face before he leaned in and forcefully took those lips into his own. The hand reached back to clench the soft hair, only to jerk the young man's head back to make him more vulnerable. Beyond had never been a kind kisser, and this was no exception. If anything, he was harsher. He bit down on the other's lower lip, receiving a cry of pain, but he didn't stop. The blood was just beginning to flow and the taste of it made his mind reel in pleasure. This person wasn't L, could never _be _L, but he was human and more importantly, he was willing.

It was a haze to him as he forced himself on the other's cold thin body. Almost screamed through his bruised throat, tearing the delicate tissues even more on the inside. His tears only pushed Beyond further, pushing him to hurt more, to want to see more. Even when climax had come and gone, the broken man didn't feel any sense of completion. He still felt hollow inside. Pulling out of Almost Always's abused orifice, he sighed unhappily. The nurse collapsed wearily against the dirty cement, sobbing quietly.

"Did I hurt you?" Beyond whispered, running his fingers through the lovely thin hair. It was like spun silk, delicately falling from his spindly fingers. If only it was longer…

"N-no," Almost hiccupped, his eyes squeezed shut and his body trembling.

"Good. Now, I want you to let your hair grow long, okay? It'll be beautiful that way."

Almost could only nod as Beyond pulled his naked body close, in a mockery of a hug. Maybe he was insane, after all.

/_/_/_/

As the sun began to set behind the imposing Rocky Mountains, Mello felt the heat seeping out of his body. Shadows seemed to swallow the land hungrily, morphing the large friendly trees into monstrous creatures that could hide rabid bears and man-hungry wolves. Bushes seemed to grow sharper and larger, with branches outstretched and ready to snatch wandering children. Children with fresh meat.

Just like him.

"Scared?" The deep voice shook him out of his thoughts and brought his attention to the lanky man next to him. L pulled a hand away from the steering wheel and gently stroked the cheek of his young lover.

Mello smiled and shook his head. "Nope. It's just weird."

"I've never lived in the mountains before, and judging by your reaction, neither have you. Are you excited?"

"Yeah, I guess so. It's a bit creepier than I thought, though."

The bony adult hand pulled away from Mello's cheek as he focused on keeping their vehicle on the uneven "road" (it was more like a deer trail) that would lead to their first home. _Their _home. Mello felt a little giddy at the thought. The little cabin that L was renting was every bit his as it was L's and having the opportunity to add his own touch to their abode was exciting. It was hard to deny that his decision to run away with L was the best decision he had made in his short life.

"Ah, here we go," L sighed as they took a particularly sharp curve. Blooming from the foliage was a cottage straight out of a homestead magazine. Dark logs were notched together like interlaced fingers, and a wide wrap-around porch was perched proudly around the square building. A strange rectangular building stood erect on the side of the cabin, and a few yards out was what looked suspiciously like an outhouse. "Mello, see the chopping block?"

Turquoise eyes darted to the other side of the cabin and the boy giggled when he saw the stump with an axe wedge on top of it. "Do they actually expect us to chop our own wood?"

L grinned. "Yes, I suppose they do. That small booth-looking thing next to the house is actually the shower."

"Why's it outside?"

"Well, it's supposed to be used only during the summer when temperatures are hot. You attach a hose to the showerhead and take a cold refreshing shower."

"But there are bugs out here!"

"Yes, there are."

With a screech of worn out brake pads, the car stuttered to a stop. Still smiling, L hopped out of the car and stretched out his hunched form. Even on the other side of the vehicle, Mello could clearly hear the popping joints and creaking ligaments. Opening his door, the blond slipped off the cheap plastic covered seat and landed on the cooling dirt with a barely audible fwump. His nude toes clenched the soft earth like a kitten kneading its mother's abdomen while his eyes continued to soak in the scenery. Far to his right a soothing gurgle caught his fleeting attention.

"Is that a creek?"

L resumed his decrepit posture and nodded. "There are several around here. Do you like the place?"

"Let's look inside," Mello demanded.

"Okay." The older man's arms abruptly scooped up the darling child, and he planted a quick kiss to the boy's cheek. "Since this is our first home, I believe it's entirely appropriate to carry you inside."

A blush rose on Mello's cheeks. "Th-that's a dumb tradition."

The black-haired man squeezed his lover more tightly and easily strode up the wooden steps and across the threshold. Entering into the quaint building, both of them were surprised when the heady scent of wood assaulted their noses. What seemed to be freshly carved furniture was littered tastefully throughout the living room and large animal skins were splayed across their seats. A small kitchen could be seen at the back and the entrance of a hallway was barely visible behind an antique grandfather clock.

"This is certainly different," L observed as he allowed Mello to slip out of his grip.

Curious hands had to touch everything as the boy ran through the house inspecting. It wasn't exactly his taste, but it definitely gave off the feeling of living out in the wild. That was really the point, Mello reminded himself. Part of the reason he had gone with L was to experience different things and have adventures. A place like this definitely fit that. Satisfied with his inspection he ran to L and gave him a hug. "It's good enough," he affirmed with a smile. "It really is like an adventure!"

The perverted grin on the older man's lips was lost on the boy completely, but L kept his libido in check. Now was not the time to try to get into Mello's pants. Rather, the lovely skirt that he was currently donning. It was almost sad, but Mello had taken pretty quickly to his new wardrobe and no longer put up a fuss about dressing like a girl. The skirt was no more of a challenge to him than shorts would be. Unfortunately, a skirt was far more enticing than shorts could be and those cute little shirts that the little angel wore did an excellent job of showing off his petite frame. It was torture being around the child and yet not being able to touch him as freely as he wished.

"I'm glad that it has gained your approval. Now, would you like to give me a tour of the place?"

Mello puffed up with pride and nodded. "Follow me!"

Once they were both familiar with the cabin, L suggested that they bring their few belongings inside. There was only one bedroom and one closet, so the two of them divided the space up accordingly. Mello had 75% of the closet and L kept 25% for his things. Considering that he had far less clothing than the boy he didn't mind. He was far more interested in the bed anyways. As the blond meticulously placed his clothing into order, L inspected the King sized bed. It was firm, but not too firm and there was plenty of space for carousing. However, the bed covers were extra fluffy and comforting, and it would allow for innocent cuddling at night as well. Perfect.

"Do you want some dinner?" he asked as the boy remained focused on task.

"Uh, yeah," he mumbled as he shook out one of his shirts. "Can we have some pizza?"

L ran his fingers through the boy's golden hair and planted a kiss to the child's forehead. "Sorry, we don't have any pizza. Will some chili and instant rice be okay?"

"I guess so."

"Don't worry, I'll go down to town tomorrow and buy some pizza for you. Do you want to go into town with me?"

"Yeah! I want a real camera to take pictures with and I need some more paper for my scrapbook."

"Sure thing, love."

The young boy smiled widely and blew a kiss at his older lover. L grinned stupidly and made his way to the modest kitchen where he was hoping to heat the meal up without burning the cabin down. Mello shook his head and quickly finished up with his clothes. Now that he was alone, he turned and stared at the bed. It frightened him a bit, but he didn't want L to know that. After the first time they had sex he had been really confused and scared. The pain had remained even a few days afterwards, but that didn't scare him nearly as much as the way that L had acted. The normally laid back man had completely lost control. Having had time to think about it, Mello had noticed that anytime they got physical, L would grow to be a little wild, and the stronger the physical stimulation the crazier he got. Hell, Lawliet nearly suffocated him when they first made out! Giving the man blow jobs was kind of a safety for him and he grew nervous as he thought that such an act wasn't going to keep L happy for too long.

Jumping on the bed, he laid back with a sigh. The faster he could get the man off, the less likely it was that L would go berserk. But what would he do when L finally had enough? He had made it clear that he _really _wanted to have sex again, and Mello wasn't sure if the man was going to get desperate enough to force him.

"Maybe I should just do it already…" he grumbled, letting his eyes slide shut. "It'd be better than getting raped."

Raped. It wasn't really a word that he thought about. After all, he was a twelve-year-old kid, so why should he have been worried about that? Opening his brilliant turquoise eyes he wondered if that was something that he really would have to worry about. Would he wake up to having a cock shoved up his ass? Would L really go that far for sexual release? Biting his lip, Mello turned on his side and tried to answer that question. From what little he knew of the man he ran away with, did L have it in him to rape a kid? He obviously didn't have a problem with having sex, but would L be callous enough to actually force him? Such heavy questions…but he was so tired…

Walking into the bedroom, L smiled gently. Mello seemed to have fallen asleep while he had cooked dinner. The beautiful child was curled on his side, breathing slowly and heavily, and his leg twitched a little. Sliding next to him, L wrapped his arms around Mello and pressed a kiss to his round cheek. "You need to get up, love," he purred.

"Mnnn, noooo," Mello yawned before trying to burrow into the covers.

"Yup, you must get up! I made dinner already and I won't be able to finish it off by myself."

Bleary eyes looked up at him for a minute before the child groaned and stretched his lithe body. "Fine, but I'm not washing dishes."

"That's fine," L assured. Having had to wash his and Light's dishes for the past few years, such a task was easy.

Dinner passed by without much excitement and while L washed the dishes, Mello sprawled out on the living room floor with his pictures and his in-progress scrapbook. L chuckled as he fondly remembered getting those pictures taken. Route 66 was quite famous in America, and there were plenty of quirky little stops that they made. He still couldn't understand why someone would half-bury a bunch of Cadillacs to make a Cadillac Ranch or even why it was traditional to spray paint your name on the poor vehicles, but it had been fun. Mello had looked particularly cute in his sun dress with a large straw hat.

Finally, it was time for to get rest. Mello brushed his teeth quickly and got dressed in his boy shorts and t-shirt. When he realized that L wasn't following him to bed, he skipped over to the older man. "Whatcha doing?"

The older man looked up from the book he was starting and smiled. "Ah, go ahead. I'm going to try to get through a few chapters."

Mello tilted his head as he examined the pages. "Is that in French?"

"Yeah. It's _The Count of Monte Cristo_."

"By Dumas, right?"

"Yes," L replied with a pleased smile. "I'm impressed that you already knew about him."

"Eh, it's no big deal. After all, I'm already reading stuff by Light Yagami! No one can really get through his stuff if they're not familiar with classic literature."

"True. I'm surprised you actually like his stuff. His main character isn't very likeable I think."

Mello sat on the arm of the chair and tilted his head thoughtfully. "You think so? I always kind of liked him."

Placing his finger on the crisp page to hold his place, L shut the book and turned his full attention to Mello. "He's such an arrogant ass. I don't see any redeemable qualities."

"That's where you're wrong," the blond chided. "If you're only reading him superficially would you think that he's an arrogant ass. There's really a lot more to him! Not only has he created a life of his own despite his stifling past, but he was strong enough to do whatever he wanted regardless of the criticism he received from everyone he knew."

"But that was just him being selfish," L protested. He had been with Light since the conception of the hit series and never once had he thought that the protagonist was likeable. In fact, if he were any more full of himself, he would have been exactly like Light. "And how could you call his life 'stifling'? He had wealthy parents and they didn't force him to follow their family business or anything. They merely wanted him to be educated."

"That's true, but it was still stifling because even though his parents didn't explicitly state that they wanted a certain life for him, he was intelligent enough to understand that they really did have heavy expectations for him and that they would have been extremely disappointed if he didn't follow through. That kind of pressure is terrible! Because you know that even though they pretend to be happy with anything that you do, they really can't stand you making your own decisions. It's just another form of manipulation, and he was able to break out of that."

Smiling, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Mello sure had an interesting perspective on such an ugly character. That was almost like a gift he had, L decided. The young boy could find something beautiful and something worth treasuring in practically everyone. And if he couldn't, then you were a most wretched creature that didn't deserve any kind of love. "I'll have to think about that, love. Now, head off to bed! We have to get up early tomorrow if we're going to head into town."

"Okay." Hopping off the arm of the chair, Mello was about to rush off to the bedroom when he abruptly stopped. Turning back, he planted a quick kiss to the man's cheek and then raced to the bedroom. L just laughed.

"My, my, I don't remember ever smiling so much," he complained good-naturedly as he rubbed his jaw. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but he had a feeling that those muscles wouldn't be getting a break any time soon. Flipping the book open, he began to read again. The novel had always been a favorite of his, and he especially loved reading it in French. Before he was able to get too far along, the sound of rushed footsteps made him look up in curiosity. Mello was jogging from the bedroom to the living room, awkwardly carrying the comforter. "Is something wrong?"

The blond head bobbed up and down frantically. "There are strange noises!"

"It's probably just the local animals."

"But it's creepy!" the boy cried. "It sounds like someone's screaming!" He was near to tears and his small arms squeezed the dark brown comforter tightly. "I don't wanna go in there."

Resigning himself to the fact that he probably wasn't going to get any more reading done, L set the book aside and took the child's hand. "It's okay, I'll go with you." He made sure to turn off all the lights as he led Mello back to their room. As they made the short journey to the bedroom in the dark, L had to admit that in the complete darkness, the house did give off an uncomfortable feeling. Shadows danced across the walls, like tendrils trying to snatch up any strays, while the moonlight warped the appearance of everything it touched.

A loud screech made both of them jump. L acknowledged his racing heart, but he needed to be strong for Mello. Surely that awful sound wasn't really someone screaming. As soon as another screech sounded out, the older genius smiled and relaxed.

"Do you know what it is?" Mello whispered, his hand clenching L's.

"As I assumed, it's nothing to worry about. That sound is just an owl."

"An owl? I thought that they hooted!"

"Yes, but they also screech." A few unnamable sounds filtered into the bedroom and L shook his head. It was going to be quite an interesting task to try to sleep through all that racket. "Don't worry, I'm right here."

With that, the two of them crept into the bed and cuddled.

"L, what would you actually do if a bear attacked us?"

"That's easy," L whispered, pulling Mello closer. "I'd run for dear life."

"W-what about me?" Mello sputtered in indignation.

"You're quite young and athletic, so-"

THWACK!

/_/_/_/

It was impossible. Completely and undeniably impossible. But L did it.

Light chuckled to himself as he continued reading the police reports that he had managed to hack. The police had traced L and Mello to America, but by the time they got cooperation with the FBI, the two renegades had disappeared. Days had turned to weeks, and weeks to the unthinkable months. Still, there was no sign of the two. There were countless false leads and fake sightings which only complicated the matter further. Quillsh Wammy became very active in the hunt for his kidnapped charge, but it had been in vain so far.

"You lucky bastard," he sighed as he looked out the window. Snow was flitting down through the air, pirouetting like thousands of ballerinas. Spinning, flipping, falling. Down they would land, only to be trampled and destroyed. Screams of a thousand dying snowflakes echoed in his mind.

Quillsh had personally come to his home and questioned him. Unlike the previous officers, he wasn't an incompetent man. He suspected that Light knew more than he was letting on, but he didn't expect Light to be his superior intellectually. Unfortunately, that made Light even more of a suspect in the old man's eyes. Regardless of his personal feelings, the police were unable to find proof of any wrong doing on Light's part and they continued to treat him like royalty.

"Misa-Misa thinks Light look sad." The blond girl knelt at his feet and stroked his leg affectionately, rubbing her cheek against his expensive khaki slacks.

"Don't be stupid, Misa. I don't have any reason to be sad."

"But Misa thinks that Light misses his friend, L."

He wanted to argue, but a heavy feeling settled on his shoulders, making him sigh. Ever since that selfish man-child ran off with his _lover_, Light had found himself without inspiration and tired. His favorite sadistic games bored him and late at night he found himself wanting to head over to L's place for a drink. Only then would he remember that L wasn't going to be back.

"He was being completely selfish," Light hissed. "I mean, who's stupid enough to go kidnap a twelve-year-old so that they could date? It's just idiotic! Even morons know better than that! Really, he's a pedophile! That means he only likes a particular age group of _children_, so what the hell's he going to do when Mello isn't a child anymore? He's going to become a teenager and then a fucking adult! What, is he going to just dump him off somewhere and then come back like nothing happened?"

Misa didn't reply, but just patiently stroked his leg. She may have put on an air of stupidity, but she had a powerful intuition that even Light had to acknowledge. The blond knew Light, and she knew how to manage him. He may have been the sadist and the master, but she was the one who watched from the shadows and said the simple words that could soothe his fevered mind. Even Mikami acknowledged that. At the moment, she knew that he needed to vent. Light didn't make very many friends, and most of those were really just well-known acquaintances. L had been something very special to him, the only one he truly considered a friend. Having grown used to someone who could verbally spar with him on equal terms and who accepted his entire being without batting an eyelash, it was only natural that he should be grieving. If he would just admit it to himself, things could move on faster.

"L never left Light."

"Yes, but I'm a _friend_, not a damn lover."

"Misa thinks that L keeps both close together."

Brown eyes looked down to examine his little darling, his slut. Misa had a point. How many times had he and L fooled around only because of how comfortable they were. L felt no physical attraction to him, but he had no problems hanging around and putting up with Light's narcissistic qualities. Perhaps that was his plan the entire time? The two runaways would be lovers until that feeling faded away, and then they would just be friends running from the cops.

"He's still selfish," Light complained.

Misa nodded before kissing his kneecap gently. "Don't worry, Misa thinks that L misses Light too."

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see about that."

/_/_/_/

"Happy birthday!"

Mello looked up from his place on the floor and he tilted his head as he watched the older man struggling to get into the door. His hands were full of bags while he tried to delicately balance a box on his forearm.

"Need help?" he snickered as he stood up and moved towards his lover. Something smelt suspiciously like chocolate and he was betting that there was a nice fat chocolate cake in that box. It would be horrible if L were to drop it now.

"If you don't mind, love."

Sweeping the box away from the lanky man, Mello ran to the table and sat the box down. In two seconds flat he had the package open and gazed happily at the treat. "Mmmm, this looks good!"

L chuckled as he managed his way to the kitchen. "It's dark chocolate cake with chocolate mousse filling and mint chocolate frosting."

"Ooooh, I can't wait to try it!"

Setting down the bags and shaking off the snow, L looked up at his young flushed lover. The sounds he was making over the cake were truly orgasm worthy. "Well, let me get the plates out, and we'll try it. I bought some ice cream too, if you want some of that now."

Mello stared at the man and then smiled widely. "I think I love you," he teased. After all, here was a man who was going to let him eat his desserts before dinner, had bought the most delectable cake in the entire universe, and had topped it off with ice cream! There could be no greater man on the planet.

"Love you too," L shot back as he gathered the necessary dishes and silverware.

He had been excited about this day for months now. There was nothing like planning out a perfect birthday for the most perfect person in the world! It had been a challenge, of course. L was not one accustomed to buying presents or throwing a birthday party of any kind. After all, B had been content with jars of fresh strawberry jam or a good hard fuck, and Light refused any presents saying that it was insulting.

"_I can afford anything that I want, and I don't need you to waste money just for the sake of getting me something. It's stupid and not financially responsible."_

Yes, Light definitely had a way with words. L smiled at the memory as he watched Mello cut large slices of the cake for them. The cake was quite a masterpiece of chocolaty delight, and even he was ready to try it out. The mint-chocolate chip ice cream would go quite well with the flavor.

"Here you go," Mello mumbled as he concentrated on not letting the heavy piece topple over.

"Thank you."

With that was accomplished, the boy turned to his own slice and nodded. "Let's eat!"

Once the dessert had been eaten, L began preparing a quick meal of potato soup while Mello hovered near the unopened bags. He had been instructed not to touch them until after dinner, but that didn't stop him from trying to figure out what exactly his gifts were. Laughing at the child's impatience, L made Mello fetch the wood for their fireplace and told him to stoke it. When the chores were finished, they attacked the food. Being the adult and having to provide for his young lover, L had learned a large variety of meals and had actually become fond of cooking. Baking was even better. Thankfully, dinner passed quickly and Mello was able to open his presents without a fight.

There were new clothes, of course; L was amazed at how quickly Mello had been growing, and as much as he appreciated the view that the too-short clothes provided, it was completely inappropriate for when they went out. He didn't want other perverts looking at his darling. The fact that it was now well into winter also helped with his decision for clothes. Next, there were two extra memory cards for his camera, a photo printer to hook the camera up to, more scrapbooking supplies, a bunch of the new age books that the blond was so fond of, a soccer ball, and a new bottle of lavender bubble bath syrup.

"Do you like your presents?"

Mello looked up from one of his new books and nodded excitedly. L just sat quietly and soaked in the happiness he got from just watching the boy. The light from the fireplace flickered across his flawless skin and the orange glow lit up the child's eyes as if they too had glowing embers. It was astonishing at the changes that Mello had gone through in the months that they had been together. He was already a few inches taller and his baby fat was slowing melting away to reveal stronger limbs and more slender features. As much as he hated to see it go, the curves were beginning to turn into more chiseled features and the boy was changing.

Sighing, he wondered about how things would be in a few years. If they were still on the run from the law, would he still find Mello attractive? Defined and toned muscles were definitely not something that he appreciated too much, and body hair had always been an issue. Pre-pubescent bodies were what he enjoyed the most with their perfection and softness and it was almost shocking how quickly those things could change. Thinking back, B had never really had any of those problems until he was closer to seventeen or eighteen. He had been thin, but still undeniably beautiful and savage. He was always so smooth and even though he lacked the desired curves, he retained quite a bit of his childish qualities.

The only reason he had put up with imperfection was the fact that he himself wasn't perfect. Looking down at his own body, L had to admit that he was unattractive. He was lean, had unhealthy skin, even worse hair, and terrible posture. Mello was still getting on to him for not standing straight. The only thing redeemable about his body was the lack of ungodly body hair. His father hadn't been able to grow a beard and his mother was smooth skinned. But enough about himself, he focused his attention to the now thirteen-year-old.

Even as he was growing older, he was getting to be a better cock-blocker. The outdoor shower had brought plenty of temptation, but Mello had insisted on nothing but oral and hand jobs. L knew that he loved the boy, but every day in his presence without being able to express his feelings properly was a cruel tease. It was like keeping a starving man in a cage next to the kitchen of a restaurant. Couldn't they have had this kind of relationship without running from the law? Each time the child bent over to retrieve something or pulled on his newest skirt or woke up with particularly enticing bedroom eyes was like a stab to his desires, begging him to take advantage. But he had been a model adult, and had done nothing of the sort.

Sighing, he decided that it couldn't hurt to try. "Mello, it's been a while," he whispered in a voice as sexy as he could get it. "Let's go to bed early, okay?"

Mello rolled his eyes and tried to focus on his book. "Again? L, you're too needy. You're not going to die without fellatio."

"It's not fellatio I want," L hissed, getting upset. "You keep saying 'later, later' but I never get any!" Having just reflected on his model adult behavior, even the dark-haired genius was surprised by his quick temper. It had been a long time since he had truly gotten angry.

Looking uncomfortable, Mello shifted around as his mind struggled for a good reply. "Yeah, but it still-"

"It does not fucking hurt, Mello. You cannot be in any pain! It's been months since I've penetrated you, so don't give me that bull shit. Just out and say that you don't want it!" He didn't want to ruin Mello's birthday, but he was tired of the boy's lying. Hadn't he done enough to deserve something back? What did he ask of the boy other than a little physical stimulation? Nothing. He asked absolutely nothing of the child.

The frustration was obvious to the blond and he tried to come up with a solution. He knew that L would be getting impatient, but he still couldn't figure out what to do about it. It was true that he didn't want to have anal sex again, but if he admitted such a thing he was afraid that L would abandon him. All kinds of excuses raced through his mind, but he knew that none of them would work. It would be either yes, or no.

"Can't we-" L snorted in annoyance and stood up to leave. Panic flared in the child's chest. "Okay, please don't go! We can have sex, just don't leave me!"

Lawliet was surprised at the boy's reaction when he got up to go to the bedroom. He saw fear in those eyes, fear of being abandoned. "Do you promise?" he asked quickly, hoping to seal the deal before Mello could back out of it.

He paled, but nodded his head. "Y-yes."

Feeling more relaxed, L smiled and beckoned with his hand. "Come on, then." He wasn't going to have to wait any longer than necessary.

'_This isn't a good idea,' _Mello thought to himself as he followed behind the older man.

Once they were in the bedroom, clothes were tossed off impatiently. L sat on the bed in his naked glory as Mello struggled not to suffer a panic attack. It really hadn't been that bad the one time they did it. More than anything, it had been emotionally overwhelming, but he'd be better prepared this time. He was even a little bigger, so L's cock didn't seem so intimidating, but still…

L patted the bed. "I need to stretch you out, so hurry up."

Biting the inside of his cheek, Mello slid onto the bed wearing nothing but his birthday suit. L looked over him hungrily and he suppressed a shudder of unhappiness. Still, which was worse? Having sex, or being left alone in America? Surely L could find another kid who would be more willing to have sex, but who would take care of him? No one would want to take care of an extra kid, and he'd just be sent back to Wammy's House to rot away. With those thoughts firmly in the forefront, he fell to his back and parted his legs.

The boy was an absolute god. Admiring the child's perfect body, L wondered why he hadn't pushed harder before. How had he survived not being in that body, communing with perfection? "That's good," he encouraged as he grabbed some proper lube and poured it over his fingers. Mello was trembling, but L was determined to bring him to pleasure. His first finger went in after a little resistance and Mello gasped in discomfort, but it would all get better. '_He'll feel better soon,' _L told himself.

With every thrust of that finger, Mello felt more and more panicked. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he didn't want this! It didn't matter if he got abandoned, he just didn't want to have this happen! "S-stop," he whispered, trying in vain to hold back the tears.

"It's okay," L soothed. "I'm being slow."

"N-no, take it out."

Frustration was again eating at L's patience. "Just relax, Mello; you've done this before and you can do it again." L shoved another finger inside a bit rougher than he had intended, but now he was getting angry. "You promised, Mello. And we're just going to do it once, so you'll be fine."

"No, no, no!" Mello wailed out, covering his eyes as the tears streamed out. "I don't wanna do it!"

The last strand of patience snapped and L pulled out his fingers to grab the boy by the shoulders. "What the hell do you mean 'you don't want it'? You don't have a problem when I get you whatever the fuck you want, but you have a problem giving a little back to me? If I wanted a fucking leech, I would have gotten pet! At least damn animals give affection!" Dark eyes flashed dangerously, uncannily similar to certain murderer's glare.

Mello was scared now. His body was trembling uncontrollably and he could clearly see the rage in the older man. The words L shouted stung painfully at him, but he didn't want to think that things were like that. He _wasn't _taking advantage of L! But other than giving head occasionally, what did he do around the house? Sure, he rearranged the furniture and cleaned things up when L didn't do it right, but was that enough? Why hadn't it been enough?

"B-but I love y-you!" he sobbed.

"Who do you think you're kidding?" L hissed in annoyance. "You don't love me; you just love what I can do for you. I should have just gotten a prostitute instead of dealing with you!" He just couldn't believe what a sucker he was for this bratty child. "If I wasn't so fucking hard, I'd just get out of here right now. Since I am _painfully _hard, just suck it up for a few minutes and then I'll be gone."

Hearing nothing but sobs as a reply, L flipped Mello to his stomach and poured the lubricant over his hot member. The idea of having sex had almost completely lost its appeal, but he still needed to cater to his body's needs. Besides, Mello was always so dramatic. He would enjoy having sex too if he would quit having a hissy fit.

No sooner had he pressed the tip in, than Mello began to cry harder. Another push and he screamed out, fingers clenching the sheets. "Stop, please stop it!"

"Oh come on, Mello," L mumbled as he pressed in slowly. "S-stop being so dramatic."

"I'm not, oh god, no!"

He was sick of the boy's constant complaining and lying. Tuning out the teenager, he focused on getting his pleasure as soon as possible. The sooner he finished, the sooner he would get out of here. Maybe he would go into town and hang out at the bar until his head cooled off. Or maybe he would sleep out in the car, leaving Mello to deal with all the noises by himself.

As he thrusted in and out of the tight flesh, L began to feel sick. There was no pleasure in what he was doing anymore. Mello had completely ruined this moment for him. It wasn't fair! He had done everything for the boy and only asked for this. Why did Mello have to make such a big deal out of it? Sex had never been that big of a deal to him, especially having dealt with Beyond. Which was another thing! He wasn't being cruel like B had been to him, so what was there to complain about? In comparison, he had been an absolute saint during the copulation. Mello had absolutely nothing to complain about.

Sighing, climax swept past him. Unlike their first joining, this wasn't mind-blowing or even particularly likeable. He felt dirty and empty inside. It would have been better to have taken care of his problem with his own hand. Pulling out, he angrily cleaned himself off with the sheets. Mello didn't say anything and just continued to cry, so L put on his clothes and left without a word.

/_/_/_/

A night out in the freezing car didn't make him feel any better, and by morning he felt even worse. Since sleep was impossible, he had watched for any signs of movement in the house, but there had been nothing. Usually, Mello would wash up before going to sleep, and if he was feeling particularly bratty he would have gone and slept in the living room, surrounded by all of his presents. Oddly enough, there was none of that. No lights were turned on, no shadows moved past, and no sounds. Reasoning in his mind that Mello was just being stubborn, L remained in the car, just wrapping his blanket more tightly around his shoulders. Still, there was nothing.

Finally, by noon, he decided to go in and see what was going on. Surely the brat wasn't still sleeping in. The sex wasn't particularly tiring and was over quickly enough, so there was no reason that he would be exhausted. Slipping into the house, L noted that the fire had gone out. "Mello?"

Still, not a peep. Sighing, he moved towards the bedroom. Was Mello going to insist on being a big baby? He didn't want to admit that worry was beginning to make an appearance. However, upon entering the bedroom, he froze in shock. There was blood all over the sheets and Mello was pale and shivering. "Mello? Mello?"

L ran over and saw some blood still trailing down Mello's legs. Running through everything that he knew about first aid, it quickly became apparent that the blond was suffering from shock. "No, no, no!" he hissed, wrapping the blanket around Mello, trying to get some warmth back to his body. Pulling the boy's thighs apart, he tried to determine the wound, but everything was slick with blood. What was he supposed to do in such a situation?

Nothing, his brilliant mind could think of nothing. His first thought was to wash Mello up, but what if the water made him bleed even more? Was it possible that he could die of blood loss? It was as if his brain had decided to take a hike when he needed it the most. Not knowing what else to do, he heaved the thin boy into his arms and securely wrapped the blanket around him. "Don't worry, I'll get some help." Mello didn't respond, but continued to shiver uncontrollably.

Twenty minutes later, he was standing nervously in front of a pay phone. Mello was lying down in the car a few feet behind him, unconscious from the pain. "Come on, pick up!" L begged. He knew that Light wasn't a morning person, but this was an emergency.

Finally, the click of the phone being picked up and a not-too-happy voice. "Who the fuck is calling me at 5:30 in the morning?"

"L-light, it's me," L started, the stress seeping through his words. "I messed up, oh god, I messed up so bad!"

"Wha? What the-? Where is Mello?"

"He's in the car, but he's not doing well." It was imperative that he not break down and cry like a little school girl. "I had sex with him last night and he's been bleeding badly. What can I do?"

The sound of Light kicking one of his unfortunate slaves off the bed could be heard in the background as he replied quickly. "So he's been bleeding a lot?"

"Yes. I can't find the source of the injury."

"Damn, how hard did you fuck him?"

Guilt again. "I…I didn't prepare him well enough."

"L! He's a kid, a _child_! Of course he's going to get hurt by your monster cock if you don't prepare him!"

"I don't need a speech!" L snapped back. "He's in a lot of pain and I need to help him!"

"Okay, just chill out. Since I'm not there, I can't guarantee anything, but I'm pretty sure that he's going to need some sutures. I'll get you the number of a discreet guy I've heard about and you'll have to deal with the rest."

"I don't want to deal with a doctor," he tried, glancing back nervously at the exhausted boy.

"You don't exactly have a choice. If he isn't looked at, he could suffer an infection and die!"

L shifted his feet in the snow nervously. "I forced myself on him!" he blurted out, feeling the hot tears stinging his eyes. "I raped him, Light! He t-told me to stop, but I thought, I thought he w-was being dramatic again!"

"Fuck, L…" the younger man sighed. Although he wanted to offer some words of encouragement or scathing remarks about his friend's idiocy, there were more important tasks. Light was furiously tapping on his keyboard, looking up information while trying to hack into his telephone provider's network. He needed to make sure that their conversation wasn't being recorded and that the police wouldn't be able to pin anything on him. Not only did L endanger Mello's life with his stupidity, he was also putting the Asian into a delicate position.

"Why am I always hurting? I don't mean too," L questioned, begging Light for answers.

The author shook his head. "L, you need to get a grip. Mello needs you to be strong right now and to use your _brain_. Jot this number down and get him cared for. And then, I suggest you getting out of the country."

"Out…of the country?"

"Yes, you dimwit! The police can trace this number to exactly where you are! Leave everything behind, get rid of your IDs and get the hell out of there!"

Light's words were like a slap in the face, and they were exactly what he needed. Because of his selfishness and foolishness, he had put them all in danger. "You're right," he forced out, wiping his eyes. He couldn't let Mello see him like that. "Let me have that number."

/_/_/_/

The smell of salty water soothed his nerves as he looked out over the Caribbean Sea. Running a hand through his unkempt black hair, L glanced over at his sleeping angel. Light had been correct in his assumptions. The doctor, who cared for local sadists and their masochistic lovers discreetly, was able to clean Mello up and suture the deep tears in the delicate flesh. He had been very hostile towards L, but an extremely large sum of money had kept him silent long enough for them to hit the road. Of course, the constant travel didn't make Mello's recovery easy at all. Every bit of motion agitated his injuries and he suffered a horrible fever as they raced to Florida. The car had been abandoned along with almost all of their possessions. Only a few articles of clothing made it for the trip.

Now they were on a boat heading for Cuba. Upon arriving at Florida, L got in contact with a government official in Havana and secured a job as an anti-hacker security officer. Obviously, their computers had been under an assault of viruses and spam lately and they were in need of assistance. Of course, he would never admit to being the culprit damaging their computers for the sake of a boat he and Mello were riding was actually an illegal passenger ship, but he wasn't too worried. The USA wasn't usually too concerned with what went to Cuba. They were only interested in what came back.

Sitting down next to the foldable chair that Mello was awkwardly trying to sleep in, L watched in silence. He had done something utterly detestable, and he wasn't sure if he could forgive himself. The person who had raped Beyond was no worse than he was, and it hurt.

"I'm sorry, Mello."

The boy huffed and turned his back to the older man. "Go away."

L nodded. "It's okay. I'll give you some space. I just wanted you to know that what I did was wrong and I understand that. You were also subjected to unfair verbal abuse, and I apologize for that as well. You did not deserve just treatment. I hope that you will be able to forgive me in time."

Mello curled up some more, and ignored L even as he stood up and walked away.

/_/_/_/

"You're going to have to call the police," Mikami stated firmly as he pressed his glasses up his perfectly straight nose.

Light tapped his fingers against his chair's armrest irritably. "Tch, it's just like betraying him."

"It's in your best interest, Light." Since it wasn't playtime, Mikami was allowed the privilege of interacting with the young writer under normal conditions. "I'm sure that the police already know that he's contacted you, and if you don't inform them, you'll only be setting yourself up for being an accomplice."

"But what if they haven't gotten out, Mikami? Then what?"

Mikami offered a reassuring squeeze to his older companion's hand. "L is smart and there is only a .0001% chance that he would stay in that area after you told him to get out. Don't doubt him, it doesn't suit you."

The brunette breathed deeply before offering a half-hearted slap to Mikami's cheek. "I suppose you're right. But, I need you to be of some use to me. Put all those years of law school to work and take your place as my advisor. I'm not speaking with Quillsh again without you."

Grinning sincerely, the raven-haired man nodded. It would be good to be of use to his master and lover.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Before I get a bunch of reviews stating that Mello and L contradicted themselves a lot, I want to say that it was intentional on my part. People are fickle in their emotions and thoughts all the time; now imagine adding their stressful situation to that. Oh, and I thought it would be fun to have a potty-mouthed L. XD So beware: if L get's angry, he cusses like a sailor.**


	5. Act five: Loving, part 1

Humidity was a bitch. Especially when trying to fix hair. Huffing, Mello added more hairspray before glancing at his reflection again.

"For goodness sake, Mello, you're going to be in the water," L sighed from outside the door. "Your hair doesn't have to be perfect."

Ignoring him, the blond ran the comb a few more times through his hair and then straightened up. Double checking the wet suit he was wearing, he mumbled in approval to himself. "Is my surfboard ready?" he called out to the man waiting on the other side.

"Yes. It's on the jeep."

Pushing the bathroom door open, Mello brushed past the older man. "Let's go then."

To say that their relationship was a little rocky would be a huge understatement. Ever since his 13th birthday, Mello had been cold towards L, and the older man had submitted to the harsh treatment. The rape had left the boy dealing with a horrendous internal injury and subsequent infections for a good several months. Thankfully, L's high position as a government worker in Cuba had its benefits and they were able to afford a personal doctor. With his daily visits and numerous drugs, Mello had recovered physically. However, neither he or L had recovered psychologically.

Watching the blond from the corner of his eyes, L couldn't help but feel horrible. How could he have lost control like that? It was completely unacceptable. Even Light with all of his sadism kept a safe word and never did anything that Mikami or Misa was uncomfortable with. There had been no such safety precautions with Mello. Even worse, when he thought back on that night, there was no doubt that Mello wasn't being dramatic about the pain. Hell, he should have known that! Those cries were just like Beyond's, just like his dear brother's.

* * *

"_S-stop, please no! Lawliet, help, help me!"_

_

* * *

_Those screams were permanently seared into his brain, and now Mello's were carved right next to them. All those years ago, he had watched helplessly as the man raped B over and over. Like the coward he was, he remained hidden under the bed watching as his twin was violated. Beyond had been such a gentle boy before that. He was shy, cute, and more compassionate than anyone else. L had been in awe of him and had always tried to protect him. But when B needed him the most, he held a hand over his own mouth so that the bad man wouldn't find him. B had looked straight at him, begging, but L did nothing. It had broken the tender boy and had created the unstable monster that was currently locked away. Could all that have been avoided if L had simply made an attempt to save him?

Now, he was the one who had done the damage. He had raped Mello, and Mello had no one to turn to. Biting his inner cheek, L allowed the horrible thoughts to run rampant through his mind as he drove. It wasn't terribly difficult to maneuver through the winding back roads with all their potholes and steep edges as he headed towards the beach. Choppy waves crashed against the rocks to the right and sand swirled at the feet of running children. Children whose privileged families could afford to protect them from the harsh realities of a cruel and unfair world. Parking the vehicle, L allowed himself to get out and take down the surfboard for his…ex-lover. With that accomplished, L promptly went back into the jeep. Mello didn't spare him a glance before racing towards the angry waters.

Weary eyes closed for a moment of rest, but all he saw was darkness and the images of pain that he had caused. It was horrible and yet there was nothing he could do. All of his own pain was self-inflicted, results of things that he himself was reaping for his selfish and impure life. From the start he had been prone to hurting those he cared for. Was it his fault? It had to be. There was no one else to blame. He was a failure as a human being, even more so as a lover. Miserably, he looked up to watch the blond child swim out on those dangerous waves. It was nerve-wracking to see Mello doing such a dangerous thing, especially with the possibility of a shark attack. Sure, the odds were pretty low that a shark would actually attack a person, but there was still a chance!

Paddling out to meet the waves, Mello casted a quick glance behind to see that L was indeed staring intently at him and gnawing his thumb raw. L absolutely hated the idea of him learning how to surf, so he had pursued it all the more aggressively. He wanted to see the man squirm in discomfort, to hear him use all of his arguing skills to get him to quit and then outright deny him. Besides, it was exhilarating, and he needed the adrenaline rush to help him forget. He was racing across the waters, crouched and carefully adjusting his balance. The waves weren't all that great today, but they were good enough. Good enough to make that man miserable. With a gulp of air, he submitted to the churning water and crashed into its salty womb.

/_/_/_/

Sighing tiredly, Almost Always set his duffel bag down and prepared to change into his nursing uniform. As he leaned forward to reach into his bag his growing hair snagged on the locker door, making him yelp in pain. With teary eyes, he complained under his breath as he fought to free his hair.

"Why the hell does he like it so long? I'm a man, a man! We're not made to deal with hair like this…ugh, who am I kidding? I know exactly why he likes it long." Blushing, the delicate nurse thought back to their most recent round of fornication. Beyond had taken quite a liking to fisting his hair painfully tight, and then he would happily stroke it after they were finished.

Finally getting his hair free from the latch, Almost ran his fingers through his hair to straighten it out. The silky strands settled right above his shoulder blades as he tossed them over his shoulder. In only seconds, the hair was captured once more, this time into a secure hair band. With the troublesome hair out of the way, the young man leaned back over to retrieve his uniform from the duffle bag.

"Hey, whatcha doing, Almost?"

Trying to appear calm, he looked up to see a beefed up man, easily twice his size. "My shift is starting soon, Kerry."

"Okay." The musclebound jerk crossed his arms arrogantly and leaned against the lockers, his gaze never shifting away from Almost.

"D-do you mind? I need to change clothes."

"Go on, I'm not stopping you." The younger nurse felt his heart rate speed up. This man had always made him feel uncomfortable but this was too much. He couldn't change in front of him! Gulping, he grabbed his bag and scurried towards the bathroom stalls. He didn't even make it two steps before his wrist was grabbed and he was slammed against the lockers. "Where're you going, Almost? You can change right here."

Kerry's putrid breath made the slight man want to gag, but he was too frightened to do such a thing. This man was well known around the mental institution for beating up his charges until they were completely submissive to him. The only one who had defied him was Beyond, and Kerry's missing finger was a constant reminder of that.

"P-please, let go," he whimpered. "I don't like-"

"You just don't want to show off the marks, right?" All the blood drained from Almost's face and his mouth went slack in horror as the older man sneered. "That's right, I know what your slutty little ass has been up to. Didn't you think _someone _would notice all your overtime being spent with that freak killer or that you always came out with a limp? Didn't you think that someone would take the time to notice that you cater almost exclusively to him? Answer me!"

"No, no, you must be mistaken." Almost felt his legs trembling and his eyes watering up in distress. He knew that Beyond was being reckless in demanding so much attention! This was the worst thing that could have happened! What if he got fired? More than worrying about losing his income, Almost was worrying about the man straitjacketed in his padded cell up the stairs and down the hall. "I d-don't know what you're talking-"

A firm callous hand slapped him across the face before pulling roughly on his turtleneck sweater. "Don't get me confused for one of these mental idiots," Kerry hissed before yanking at the sweater, tearing it from the thin body.

"No! Stop!"

Having no muscles or physical strength, Almost knew that his protests and his feeble attempts at fighting back were useless. But still, if he didn't put up some fight it would be like…like he was cheating. Cheating on what, his _lover_? That idea nearly made him laugh bitterly. Beyond was not a lover, in any sense of the word. He was demanding, cruel, obsessive, possessive, and a number of other unflattering things. And yet, why did he still go back to him? Why did he seek out his company, sneak him to the rooftop for freedom, or hide his medication? Why did he let that man hold him so tenderly even when he knew it was all fake? Why did he have such feelings?

"Tch, look at you! You really are his little slut."

Free from the confines of his sweater, Almost attempted to cover up his exposed body. Bandages, gauze, and tape littered his torso, extending from his waistband up and around to his back. Kerry mercilessly yanked one of the patches free, revealing the bite mark underneath. The bloody wound oozed a little at the jagged edges and the pale skin surrounding it flushed from the pain of the tape being torn off.

"I…it's not…" What could he say? How could he deny relations with Beyond when the proof was etched into his flesh?

"What do you think the supervisor would think if he saw this?" Kerry threatened, his finger trailing around the exposed wound before pushing his finger into it. Almost whimpered, biting his lip to keep the sounds buried inside. The last thing he wanted was for someone else to come in and see him in this situation. "You'd probably get fired, and it would be on your record that you slept with a crazy patient. Hell, you probably would never be able to work as a nurse again with such an infraction."

Almost was not stupid. He knew exactly where this conversation was going. Biting his lip hard enough to draw blood, he stared at the floor tile and clenched his fists. "Wha-what do you want from me?"

A perverted grin settled on the stronger man's lips as he pulled his finger out of the bite mark. "Well, I'm much better than some fucking serial killer. Why don't you do for me what you do for him?"

"P-please, no…"

"Suck it," he commanded as he pulled out his erect member.

Humiliating and disgusting. Almost slid to his knees quietly, trying to block out his mind. He could do this automatically, without thinking. He didn't want to think about the fat cock presented to his mouth or the horrid creature hovering above him. Closing his eyes, he did his damnest to think about only one thing.

Beyond.

/_/_/_/

Beyond Birthday was a little irked. Almost should have been with him nearly fifteen minutes ago! If he didn't show up soon, some other nurse was going to come in and he would be forced to take those loathsome drugs. Wiggling uncomfortably in his straitjacket, Beyond stared at the door as if he could summon the nurse in with his willpower alone.

"I'm going to punish his little ass for being late," he growled irritably. He only wanted the pathetic nurse to show up and attend to his needs because of all that was in it for him. It wasn't like he was _in love _or anything. Almost was weak and his only purpose in life was to be used, abused, and tossed away. That's all.

The beautiful sound of the lock and door sliding open caught his attention, and Beyond found himself watching his favorite nurse walking in with a tray of breakfast and his morning pills. "Good morning," he whispered, not looking up.

"Why are you late?" the dark-haired man questioned angrily.

"Ah, I apologize." Almost made his way to the patient and set the food down, careful not to spill anything.

"That doesn't answer my question." Beyond raised his eyebrow as he realized that the nurse was doing everything that he could to avoid his eyes.

"Um, well…" How could he reply to that? Having never been one to lie, Almost struggled to come up with some kind of excuse that would be good enough without revealing what really happened.

Snarling, Beyond leaned forward. "Look me in the eye, _Almost_."

Clenching his fists, the young man didn't know what to do. If he looked into those dark endless eyes, Beyond would see everything. He would know what had happened. "It's okay," he whispered softly, hoping that Beyond would let it drop.

Dammit, if his hands had been free, he would have forced that little bitch to do what he commanded. How dare Almost disobey him? "Give me a kiss. Now." His tone left no room for debate.

The brunette flushed in humiliation. Kerry's taste was still in his mouth, so how could he be expected to kiss Beyond? Still, if he didn't comply, the serial killer would get his revenge later. That was definitely something that he wanted to avoid. Maybe if it was a quick enough kiss, Beyond wouldn't notice? Leaning in, Almost pressed a quick peck to those cold lips.

Before he had a chance to pull away, teeth sunk into his lower lip, eliciting a yelp. "Oww! S-stop!"

Not having the use of his hands at all, the murderer used his larger frame to his advantage. Forcing all his weight onto the nurse, he was able to knock them both to the floor. Almost gasped in surprise and pain, leaving his mouth vulnerable. Beyond snatched the opportunity to shove his tongue into the other's mouth, mercilessly, exploring the moist heat. However, he was surprised by the taste. Almost quivered beneath him, knowing that he never had a chance of hiding his shame.

Pulling away, Beyond looked into the nurse's tear-filled eyes. His injured lip was trembling and he tried to stifle his sobs. "Who?"

Almost wiped his eyes, refusing to look up at the man that he had been ensnared by. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't want to…I j-just had to."

"Who?" Beyond asked a little more softly.

"P-please, I'm so sorry!"

"Take this thing off, Almost."

Still struggling to keep his composure, Almost let his shaking fingers undo the straps, freeing the patient. To his surprise, Beyond's arms wrapped around him, and pulled him into a hug. Was…was he actually being nice? Shocked, Almost clung to the other man's shirt and let the teas fall silently. "Sorry."

Those hands that had easily taken away human life ran down his back, applying a little more pressure to the wounds there than he would have liked. "You're mine," Beyond stated quietly. Almost felt his blood run cold as he was squeezed more tightly. "You. Are. Mine."

The next thing he knew, Beyond had shoved him to the floor and was carelessly pulling his clothes off. "N-no! It's daytime!" he cried out in panic. What if someone walked in on them?

"I don't give a damn," he hissed, refusing to stop until the nurse was naked beneath him. Who cared if someone saw them? If they did, then they'd just know that Almost was his property. _He _was the only one allowed to touch the nurse, the only allowed to violate him so completely. The bloody marks should have been enough of a warning, but someone had disregarded them. Someone was going to pay. "I'm not letting anyone else touch you!"

Crying out, Almost felt Beyond pushing into him dry. Kerry didn't get that far with him, so he was still unprepared. Pain shot through him as the killer continued to invade his body. "Aahhn! N-n-no…" A cold hand fisted his ponytail, yanking the hair band out before getting a firm grip on the hair. It was a familiar show of domination, of claiming him completely.

"Look at this," Beyond sneered. "You covered up all my pretty little marks. I worked hard to put those there, you know, and I want you to show them off." Using his free hand, he began pulling off all of the patches, revealing his handiwork even as he thrusted into the too tight body.

Of course, this wasn't the first time that Beyond had forced himself onto the stupid nurse, but this time, something completely different happened. Through the tears, Almost managed to speak up. "S-stop, please, oh! Please no! Beyond, please! S-stop!"

It was the first time that Almost had ever begged for it to stop, and the words struck straight into Beyond's frigid heart.

* * *

"_Lawliet, save me! Help! S-stop!"_

_Everything was in pain, was tearing apart as the faceless man violated him. He could see his older brother, hiding under the bed, refusing to do anything but cover his mouth. Why wasn't someone helping him? Why didn't anyone come in and rescue him? Was it because he was weak, unable to protect himself?_

"_Please!" he begged, "Stop!"_

_

* * *

_Panting, he looked away from Almost's trembling body. He never wanted to go back there, back to that night. It was a night that created him, that broke him and taught him the harsh realities of this world. No one was going to come and save you; you had to save yourself. If you weren't strong enough, then you deserved to be destroyed. Looking back at the nurse, he felt an unusual pain swelling in his chest. Almost was weak, completely defenseless. Even as he had been forced upon over and over, he would always come back with that fucking smile on his face. He was the only one who didn't run away and abandon such a wicked creature. Never once had he begged to be released until now.

"Would I be the same?" he whispered to himself, watching Almost cry and curl up on his side. "Would he become just like me?" No, that wasn't right. Almost would never be like him. He would break. "Come here, Almost. I'm…sorry."

Jerking his head up in surprise, the nurse couldn't believe that he had heard an actual apology from the cruel person sitting at his feet. Beyond held his arms open in an invitation, and before he knew what he was doing, Almost launched himself into those arms. He was crying into that cold chest, holding desperately to such a solid person. It didn't bother him that he was seeking something solid with a mental institute patient.

'_I've completely lost it,'_ he thought sadly, before pushing that away for the comfort Beyond was offering.

After a few minutes, Beyond leaned in and whispered a question. "So, who touched you?"

"Kerry," Almost replied tiredly, not thinking about the consequences of such an admittance.

A wide, angry grin split across the murderer's face. "Shhhh," he managed to soothe, delicately rocking his hurt little doll. "It'll be okay…it'll all be okay."

/_/_/_/

Snapping off chunks of his chocolate bar irritably, Mello stared at L as he busied himself in the kitchen. It had been more than half a year since they moved to the beautiful and destitute Cuba, and about that long since he had carried a decent conversation with anyone. Havana was too dangerous for a 13-year-old kid to be wandering alone, so L kept him under lock and guard while at work. The guards weren't any good for conversation, so after 10 hours of nothing but his own voice, the television, and all the _stuff _L bought him, Mello would be forced to sit and watch the man come home with more peace offerings before dutifully cooking a meal, taking a shower, and going to sleep. Well, at least he sat on the chair in his bedroom, staring out the window all night long. Mello watched him do it once.

Frowning, Mello turned his weary eyes to the treat in his hand. The only time he got to get out of the house was during the weekends when L would take him to the beach, and it was driving him crazy. Wammy's House had been a terrible place to live, but at least there he could play outside with others. Even though the house they had was large and had a decent backyard, Mello was forbidden from talking or hanging out with anyone else. Of course, it was just a precaution since they were still on the run, but it was lonely.

"I wonder what Matt's doing?" he mumbled.

L looked over his shoulder and opened his mouth to say something, before thinking better of it and turning his attention back to the food. Sighing unhappily, Mello rested his head against the arm of the sofa. Books, magazines, stuffed animals, food, pictures, all of those things surrounded him and yet he felt empty. Dropping the chocolate bar to the floor, he stared at the man's hunched back as he bustled about.

His hand was itching to stroke that wild hair, to hold his bony hand again. He wanted to be comfortable again, to where they could cuddle on the couch together, discussing books and philosophy or talk about their long days. But it couldn't happen, not with the heavy weight hanging between them. Mello was still angry about the rape, but the man's sincere penance for the past several months had touched him. He never asked for an apology, and yet L would beg for forgiveness. L would buy so many useless things, all just to please the boy and to show that his words were anything but empty. Those sad eyes grew more and more hollow with the passing weeks and the circles under his eyes darkened. The worst part was when Mello would hear him crying, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet while he sobbed against his knees.

'_What's going to happen between us?'_ the boy thought as he glanced at the sliding door to their porch. The sun was setting, and its colors were bleeding through the house. _'I mean, yeah I'm still a bit scared of him, but I hate this coldness between us. This isn't a fun adventure and it won't ever be if we don't sort things out. Still, he _hurt _me. What if he does it again? Ugh, but what if he doesn't? What else do I want him to do to prove that he's sorry? There's nothing else he can do! Not once has he touched me or approached me for any kind of sexual favor since then.'_

"Dinner's ready," L called out softly as he set the steaming plates on the table.

'_What about me? He wasn't the only one who was at fault back then. I really did nothing but take and take from him. If I had just allowed sex, his needs wouldn't have built up so much and maybe he wouldn't have lost his control like that. Besides, sex the first time wasn't terrible, just uncomfortable. It still felt good enough for me to climax, so I had no right to complain.' _Standing up, he took his seat at the table and silently swallowed down the hot meal. L didn't look up at all and only stared at his food while poking it with his fork. "Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?" Mello asked irritably.

"No. She didn't." L still didn't look up, but he set his fork down.

Mello wanted to say "you're forgiven" so badly to the man-child, but it seemed to get stuck in his throat every time he tried. Instead, he became more irritated and angry. "Take me to the beach tomorrow," he commanded unhappily. "It's boring here."

Finally looking up at the boy, L forced a smile. "Alright. I think I'll go to bed now. You can just leave the dishes in the sink." With that, he left his food untouched and retired to his bedroom.

"Goodnight," Mello mumbled once L's door was closed.

The next day, L came home early and Mello was prepared for the beach. As usual, the drive was quick and silent. Once at the beach, L opted to sit on a beach towel near the edge of the water and watch instead of staying in their jeep. Mello just focused on the salty water as he paddled out. Feeling the force of the waves tingle his body, the blond jumped into position on the unsteady board and rode the beast. His knees were jarred as the water beneath the board raced and his stomach muscles tightened as he struggled to remain standing. The wipeout would be coming soon, but that was okay. Feeling swept away by such an unstoppable force was oddly comforting to him, and it was almost as fulfilling as the actual surfing was.

'_I think I'm crazy.'_

Again, the water surrounded him, shoving him deep under. All sounds were muffled and his eyes closed for the sake of not letting the salt burn them too badly. This time, though, as he tumbled through the current, his board was swept up abruptly. Opening his eyes wide in surprise, Mello only saw a flash of the white board before pain shot through his head and everything went black.

"I hate this, I hate this, I hate this…" L continued to mumble as he adjusted the umbrella over him. "Stupid heat, stupid itchy sand, damn dangerous waves." Looking up, he felt his heart stop as Mello wiped out. Shoving his scarred thumb into his mouth, he began gnawing on the digit aggressively. Mello knew how much he hated the whole surfing thing, and yet the child would do it anyway. Did he have a death wish or something? Or maybe he just enjoyed torturing the older man.

Staring at the evil waters, L waiting for the little blond head to pop up sputtering water as usual. Being on an island in the Caribbean, spotting Mello had never been an issue. Still, he had to admit that all the beach-going was giving the boy a wonderful tan. Shaking his head, he tried to push those filthy thoughts away. He would _not _touch Mello like that again. _'Then what's the point of keeping him around? I'm sure it wouldn't be all that hard to find another kid, one who would be far more willing to keep me entertained.'_ Brushing those thoughts away as well, L scanned the ocean for that familiar face. It was true that he could find another child to fulfill his sexual needs, but what about his emotional ones? Who else would be as fiery and intelligent as Mello? Who else would pitch a fit just because he was out of chocolate?

But…Mello wasn't coming up. There was no sign of him. Breathing unevenly, L didn't even realize that he was walking unsteadily towards the ocean. Hot sand burned at his bare toes before the cool waves soothed them. The water soaked through the jeans quickly, weighing them down. His white long-sleeved shirt became practically see through. Still no Mello. Panic surged and L threw himself whole-heartedly into the churning waters. It didn't matter that he never learned how to swim or that his eyes were burning. His weak lungs were screaming for oxygen, not used to being held especially as his limbs were flailing around. Slicing through the water, he caught sight of a figure delicately swaying along with the currents. Gold hair flashed through the dispersed light and the limp figure looked abnormally pale. A swirl of red danced around the boy's head, like a crown of death.

Save Mello.

"Breathe!" he found himself screaming over the unresponsive body. When did he get back on the beach? When did people gather around? Blood was spilling down the side of Mello's face, pooling in the wet sand beneath his head.

'_No, no, no!'_

His mouth crashed into the boy's as he tried to force air into the lungs.

'_Don't leave me, I don't want you to leave me!'_

One, two, three pushes. Who really gave a damn if he was doing this right?

'_Please breathe, oh god, please!'_

Lips over the others, sharing salty air. Tears were mingling with the ocean water streaming down his face. "Please breathe!"

'_I love you love you so much please don't leave me…'_

The small chest stuttered with a breath before water was gurgled and coughed up. Shaking hands pushed the boy to his side to more easily expel the liquid from his lungs before once again pulling the child into his arms. People were speaking to him, but it didn't matter. Mello was coughing and bleeding in his arms, _his _arms.

Sobbing, he felt those small hands clench his soaked through shirt.

/_/_/_/

Straddling the younger man's legs, Almost was lazily languishing attention to Beyond's mouth with his tongue. He had been worried about showing up and Kerry harassing him again, but this time there was no sight of him. It had made him extra happy and he ended up pleasuring Beyond as a result. The dark-haired man seemed surprised as he initiated their kissing, but he had recovered quickly. One hand was digging into the sharp hip-bones of the nurse, forcing him to grind against his arousal while the other hand was running through the soft hair. Lawliet's hair had never been so soft, nor had his body emit such an aura of sex. How could he resist getting hard every time the damned nurse walked in with that insecure sway to his hips or that shy smile on his lips? Spit spilled out between their lips, and neither of them paid it any attention. Almost wrapped his arms delicately around Beyond's neck, enjoying their gentle make-out session. It was absolutely ridiculous how happy he was.

An ear-shattering shriek of alarms broke them apart. Jumping to his feet, Almost glanced around nervously before tackling Beyond and trying to get him back into this straightjacket. "Oh shit!" he hissed, fussing with the contorted buckles and straps.

"You could just leave me free," Beyond purred.

"No, we'll get in trouble! Don't worry, once whatever issue is solved, I'll take you up to the roof, okay?" His shaking hands finally finished their work, leaving him to gather up the breakfast tray.

"Kiss me?" Beyond asked mischievously, receiving a quick peck in reward.

"More later," Almost promised before racing out of the room and locking the door. Other nurses were running down the halls, making sure that all of the patients were locked in or being locked up. "What's going on?" he asked a fellow nurse as they raced down the hall to make sure that everyone was accounted for.

"They found a body," the young woman hissed, her lips trembling in fear. "It's one of us nurses!"

An uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach as he raced through the building accounting for all of the patients. Once that was finished, all of the staff was asked to wait in the cafeteria. With everyone there, it was easy to see who was missing. Kerry.

'_This is just a coincidence,' _Almost thought frantically. Taking a seat before he fainted or threw up, he tried to take deep slow breaths. _'No, Beyond had no way of getting free or harming Kerry. Besides, why would he do that? I know that he was jealous, but jealous enough to kill? That's not his M.O.! Yes, he's a serial killer, but that was because of a hormonal imbalance caused by his medications on top of the fact that he is mentally unstable. He always killed his victims in different manners, as if experimenting on the ways to kill. But wait! No one said how Kerry was found, only that he was dead!'_

"Are you okay?" a fellow nurse asked as he took a seat next to Almost.

"Y-yeah, I think I'll be fine."

"Man, I can't believe that something like this happened at this facility! Most of these crazies are too drugged up to do anything, and then the others who misbehaved are locked up all the time, so who could have done something like that?"

Biting his lip, Almost thought back to the smug look Beyond offered him as he walked in earlier that morning.

/_/_/_/

"So how's this?"

Looking at the beautiful instrument, Mello allowed his mouth to drop open in surprise. "F-for me?" The grand piano twinkled happily in the living room light.

"Yup," L replied, setting down their overnight bag. "And this won't give you a concussion."

Mello chuckled a little, his hand lightly brushing the stitches on near the hairline on his forehead. His bangs had been carefully pinned back by L so the doctors didn't have to ruin his haircut. "Yeah, I guess I need something else to keep me entertained while I can't surf."

Seeing the colorful raised bruise and the ugly stitches holding his skin together, L couldn't help himself. His hand gently stroked Mello's cheek and he leaned forward. Mello froze and looked up into the older man's eyes. There was pain there, but there was also something much stronger and much deeper. Was it…

_Love?_

"Ah, sorry," L whispered, catching himself before he did anything else. He refused to ruin their relationship again just when it seemed to be on the mend.

Feeling his heart racing, Mello reached out and took a hold of L's wrist, pulling his hand close enough to rub his cheek against. He saw the man blush and the look of lust flicker in his eyes, but this time there was no doubt that he was in control. It was okay this time. His soft lips caressed the tips of those fingers, kisses that disappeared like snow in a warm palm.

With a smile, he delicately released the fingers and walked over to inspect the piano. "I can't believe that you lost your pants in the ocean," he giggled, letting his fingers ghost over the glistening keys.

Still feeling his fingers tingling, L pulled the hand to his chest. "What do you expect? I was wearing jeans."

Turquoise eyes sparkled happily as he took a seat in front of the exquisite instrument. "It's still funny. If you would wear a belt, maybe it wouldn't have fallen off."

"In that case, I might have drowned," L replied with a smile. "Wet jeans are just too heavy."

"…then I'm glad you don't wear one."

Softly, carefully, L took a seat next to the young teen. Closing his eyes, he allowed the smile to remain on his lips. The joy bubbling up inside was like a tidal wave, rushing and unstoppable. Was this what Mello felt like as he surfed on those waters? Did he feel such elation? His long fingers stretched out over the keys as a song began to play. "I'll teach you to play," he murmured, letting the song in his mind be translated by his fingers. It didn't have to be a complicated or overpowering tune, and it didn't even have to be flawless. Just note after note, chord after chord. It was something that his heart could resonate with, its strings vibrating in contentment.

Mello watched in awe as something so beautiful spilled out of the piano. Even though his head was pounding in pain, it seemed like the notes were caressing his mind, soothing over the aches. It was very much like those cool fingers that had stroked away his fears and discomforts. Sleepily resting his head against the man's shoulder, Mello just let the music wash over him. Things between them would never be the same, but that was fine. He never wanted it to be that way again. He wanted things to be different. To give and to receive, that's what he wanted. No more forcing or selfishness.

L felt the pressure on his shoulder and felt tears prick his eyes. Surely, he was in heaven.

/_/_/_/

It was unbelievable. Wonderful.

Pretending to read a book, L watched Mello practicing on the grand piano. Bare feet were pumping the peddles perfectly as his fingers raced across the keys. The still growing hands were stretched to the limit, working to complete the chords and move on to the next set. As with anything that he set his mind to, Mello was learning to play the piano at a ridiculous pace, practicing for hours and hours every day. His hair was tied back into a pony tail with his bangs pinned up out of the way. The discoloration from the bruise was spread from the left side of his forehead down to his cheek bone, but he didn't find it disgusting at all. All of Mello was beautiful.

A frown tugged on the teen's lips as he hit a wrong note and L couldn't help but smile wider. His darling hated not being perfect. His mistake was going to bother him and cause him to mess up even more, the older man knew. "Do you want to go out for a walk?" he asked, hoping to spare himself from an unhappy Mello.

"Sure," he sighed, reluctantly pulling his hands away from the keys. "My playing isn't bothering you, is it?"

"Nope. I just felt like going out for a walk."

"Okay!" Mello happily hopped off the seat and slipped on his sandals. L admired his partner's slender legs hidden beneath khaki Capri pants and the way his short-sleeved button-up shirt clung to his slight frame.

"Don't forget your bag," L called out as he moved to grab his. Since they were technically on the run, Lawliet had decided that they needed to carry around over-night bags all the time. The bags would have anything especially important so that in a moment's notice they could leave the country. A precaution like that was especially important so that they could hide personal things like pictures. If the police caught a hold of such things, they would be able to see where they had been traveling and might even be able to track them down more easily.

Making sure all of his pictures and his camera were safely tucked away in his tote bag, Mello nodded. "Alrighty, let's go!"

"It's just a walk," L chuckled. "We'll stay near the house in case a headache strikes you."

"I'll be fine," Mello grumbled unhappily. He was already sick and tired of looking at the same old houses and the same old streets. "Can't we walk further out?"

"We'll see."

Slipping on his hemp sandals, L took Mello's hand and led him outside. The setting sun still felt hot on his pale skin, but he didn't bother with sunblock. They weren't going to be out for long anyway. Salty air swept past the two of them, offering a comforting hug before slipping away. Birds screeched, dogs barked, amphibians croaked…L just let the stimulations run past. Mello's warm hand was all that he really cared about.

Of course, when one's not paying attention to their surroundings, it makes it extremely easy to be assaulted. Something solid impacted the back of his head, knocking L to the ground. The ground was spinning and before he could try to get his bearings, a firm kick sunk into his stomach.

"Give us your money!"

'_Money?' _The blow to his head made it nearly impossible to understand what was going on.

"Leave him alone you bastards!"

Wait, that was Mello's voice. What was going on? Another blow landed, this time on his face. It sent him sprawling back into a wall.

"Hey, look at this cutie!"

Why was everyone speaking damned Spanish? His mind was having a difficult time translating things.

"Let go! Help, someone help!"

"Come on, I bet she's got a tight pussy."

"I'm a boy, fucker!"

The sound of a slap echoed in his swirling mind. Who was getting hit? Why was there warm liquid running down the back of his neck?

"Damn, I guess he is a boy!"

There were cruel laughs before the second voice chimed in. "Hey, aren't boys supposed to be tighter than a virgin pussy?"

"Nooooo! Leave me alone! Lawliet!"

Was this some sick dream? It was just like that night, all those years ago. Why was he thinking about that? Ha ha ha, it was like a bad joke, leaving the bitter taste in his mouth. Couldn't that man just leave him alone? Those memories, always bothering him. Through the haze, he could make out three figures.

"Cover his damn mouth up, Jose!"

Wait, Beyond didn't have blond hair. And there were two guys this time. What was going on?

"Ouch! He fucking bit me!"

"Heeeeelp meeeee!"

Mello. Oh god, Mello! For the second time, L couldn't really remember moving. He just did. It didn't matter that his head was spinning, or that he had a cracked rib. Those fuckers weren't allowed to put their filthy hands on Mello. Something warm sprayed across his face and all he could really see were blurs of colors. There weren't even any sounds; just the ringing in his ears. Was there something on his hands? Why couldn't he feel his hands? There was just…pain.

"Lawliet! Look at me!"

His head was hurting so badly, but cold soothing hands held his face. "M-mello?"

"We need to run," the boy hissed. "Come on!"

Those magic hands took him by the wrist and dragged him down the alley. But they were moving too quickly. Losing his balance, L collapsed to the ground with his hands out. As soon as he hit the ground, he heard a blood-curdling scream and everything finally went black. The ringing echoed louder.

/_/_/_/

"Did you do it?"

"Do what?" Beyond snickered, not an ounce of remorse on his face.

Almost felt a little sick. "Did you kill Kerry?"

"Aren't you happy that he won't be bothering you anymore?" he asked innocently, but the wide grin on his face gave him away. "Besides, I wouldn't do anything like that for anyone but you. Doesn't that make you feel special?"

'_Of course not!' _he thought as he opened his mouth to reply. "Y-yes."

"They didn't tell you how he was killed, did they?" Beyond purred, tilting his head seductively. A shake of the head confirmed his suspicions. "Of course not. It was pretty messy, after all. Do you want me to tell you?"

"No," Almost whimpered.

"Yes, you do. With some of the nifty little drugs you people keep laying around, it wasn't particularly hard to sedate him. Afterwards, tying him up securely was a breeze! You should have seen his face when he came to and saw my pretty little face."

"I don't want-"

"And then, I had to let him know why he was going to die," Beyond pushed, ignoring Almost's request. "If would have been rude to kill him without his knowing why. With that accomplished, I felt completely at ease even as he threatened me. After all, I knew that he wouldn't be able to escape. So, I took my handy little knife, courtesy of the kitchen, and I sliced through his scrotum!"

The nurse stared at the murderer in horror. Was he being serious?

"And—hehehehe—that man began to scream like a little girl. I didn't think that his voice could go that high! But that's not all, my dear. He had to learn that what he did was a terrible thing, so I had to be just as terrible! I forced that oversized _girl _to eat his own balls."

"That's…" Almost choked, covering his mouth before he could lose control and throw up.

"Yes, it's sick." Beyond's eyes shone dangerously as he leaned forward a little. "But that's not the worst part. "You see, people eat cow balls, and such things all the time. Such a humiliation was not enough for that pathetic thing who cried and begged for forgiveness. He even swore to never touch you again or make mention of our 'fun time'! But no, I wasn't going to let him get away with that. You asked him to stop, didn't you?"

Golden eyes widened in surprise. "How did…you know?"

"Because it's you," he replied simply. For a moment, there wasn't that crazy gleam in his eye or anger or hatred. He looked like an unhappy young man. "You would never do something like that."

His heart was racing as he slid to his knees in front of the dark-haired man. How could he possibly be feeling so elated even while hearing about the cruel murder of someone? How could he be feeling himself fall deeper and deeper in love with such a twisted and wicked creature? It was wrong! Completely wrong! "What did you do next?" he whispered, leaning close enough for a kiss.

"I sawed his nasty dick off, nice and slow. These padded rooms have great soundproofing."

"So he screamed?"

"Oh, yes. He howled like the little bitch he was. So I took that bloody thing, and I showed him how to properly deepthroat things."

"How?"

Those dark eyes light up in fascination, drinking in the sight of his trembling lover. _His _lover, the one who would never run away. "I shoved it right down his throat. It blocked his airway, of course, so I spent the next few minutes just watching as he flailed about in his bindings until he finally suffocated."

"They'll suspect you," Almost stated, breathing in the scent of the younger man. "In fact, they probably already do."

"I know."

"And the security is going to be improved because of this. I won't be able to take you out anymore."

"I know."

"You know everything, don't you?"

Beyond didn't reply, he just leaned forward that fraction of an inch and pressed an open mouthed kiss to the nurse. Sweet and short. "I think that I'll get out of here," he stated calmly, as he pulled back to look into those precious eyes.

"…you want my help, don't you?"

"Don't you want to help me?" Beyond teased without a hint of insecurity.

'_Has he been setting this up from the beginning?' _Almost wondered as he stared into the dark eyes. _'Has he been playing me for the fool the entire time? Tch, even if he was, could I honestly say no?'_

"Let's get out of here," Beyond invited with an amused smile. "We can go somewhere far away."

Looking at the bite scar on his hand, Almost sighed in defeat. "Why not?"

'_I'm completely in love, and it's going to kill me.'_

/_/_/_/

"Lawliet? Are you awake?"

The ringing was gone, he noticed. Instead, there was the warm whirring of machines and the faint dripping of an IV line. He tried to move, but for some reason he felt too exhausted. "Mello?" he croaked.

"Good, you're okay," the teen breathed in relief. Biting his lip, he looked down at the disoriented man on the bed. "Don't try to move just yet. The doctor says that you're suffering from a mild concussion and the region of the brain that was damaged was the occipital lobe, so your eyes are a little out of whack."

"Doctor? Wait…doctor?"

Mello jumped out of his chair and held the man down. "Don't freak out! Wait, just hear me out!" Once he was sure that L wasn't going to do anything else reckless, he sat back down. "Um, we needed to get out of Cuba. You passed out from the injuries, and when I tried to go home to get help I found out that the police were looking for us. Seems like they figured out that you were the one attacking their computers with viruses and fixing it up for the sake of money."

"How on earth did you find that out?"

"Don't worry," Mello sighed. "So anyway, I had to drag you somewhere safe. You're pretty heavy for being nothing but skin and bones."

"Sorry."

"Yeah, well I happened to come across this white guy. He was actually a missionary doing some secret work in Cuba, and once I explained that we got mugged and that you needed medical attention he was able to get us some money and a trip back up to America. There was even a guy in his group who knew some first-aid, so he gave you some drugs to keep you out during the trip."

The whole thing sounded bizarre. Mello did all that? "So we're not in Cuba?"

"Nope. Sorry about that. I got rid of our old ID cards too."

"What about-"

"We'll leave before they figure anything out."

Finally getting his eyelids to cooperate, L stared at what he assumed was the ceiling until his eyes adjusted. Things were still a little blurry, but he could see things. Turning his aching head, he caught sight of his little angel. Mello looked like he hadn't had any sleep in a while, but other than the stitches on his head he seemed unharmed. "Are you okay?"

Mello's eyes softened and he scooted his chair closer to the bed. "Yeah. You saved me, you know."

"I did?" Tears welled in his eyes, but he didn't let them spill out. He didn't want to be a cry-baby in front of the teen.

"Yeah." The blond rested his head on the bed next to the older man. "But you broke both hands."

"Eh?" Looking down, he was surprised to see both hands covered by an insane amount of bandages. "Wow."

"You broke a bunch of bones in both of them. So, both hands will be out of commission for a while."

"Well, that makes things a little more complicated," L sighed. He wouldn't be able to drive without his hands.

"It's fine, I'll help out," Mello offered.

They remained silent for a while, just enjoying each other's company. More than that, L was also running through his backup plans. Finally, with a sneeze, he looked back up at the boy. "How would you like to go to South Africa?"

"South Africa? What's there?"

"Surfing. And other white people."

"Really? White people in Africa?"

L just laughed at the boy's naivety. "It'll be fun, I promise!" Who would ever think to go searching for the two of them in such a place?

"Okay. As long as you promise to take me to see the lions."

"No problem. I promise."

Leaning over, Mello pressed a quick kiss to L's dry lips. "Thanks. For everything."

/_/_/_/

"Um, are you sure this is okay?" Near's cheeks were bright red and his heart was threatening to burst right out of his rib cage.

"Y-yeah. I mean, if you're okay with it." Matt bit his lip cutely, glancing at the door nervously. "As long as Roger doesn't find out."

"It's so…soft."

Matt blushed even deeper. "Yeah, it is."

Wide gray eyes looked up, feelings usually carefully hidden away clear for the older boy to see. "Matt, I've—I've never been so happy."

The brunette couldn't handle the cuteness anymore, so he tackled the younger boy. "I love you!"

Turning a more brilliant shade of red himself, Near lifted up the furry toy he had just received. "F-furby loves you too."

"Me loves you!" the toy exclaimed.

"He can be our baby, okay Near?" Matt whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the pale boy's ear.

"O-okay."

It really was a pity that Roger was mortally scared of Furby dolls.

* * *

**Author's notes: Okay, so the last part was to add a little humor, and besides, I was missing those two. Now, the reason Roger's scared of Furby dolls is because they look like little gremlins and they will stare at you and talk during the night sometimes. He just thinks that any dolls that have conversations with you (or talks at all) are creepy.**


	6. Act six: Loving, part 2

"Now, this is just ridiculous."

Mello unsuccessfully attempted to stifle a giggle while L just glared at him. "Oh come one, I go in drag all the time!"

Looking down at his empire waist sundress, L almost felt sick. "Look at my legs. They look like twigs under this ridiculous get-up."

"That's okay," Mello huffed. "If you look like an ugly woman, then at least no one will try to hit on you."

"True, I don't want anyone to hit on me. What about you?"

Pulling out a pair of oversized sunglasses, Mello put them on and struck a pose. "I'm a wannabe slut!"

"Uh, how about not. I wouldn't want older men approaching my teenage daughter."

"Well, I need to look at least somewhat cute if I'm going to get people to do me favors."

As Mello began rummaging through the box of clothing he had managed to acquire, L frowned. Even though he was happy that they were getting along well and that Mello seemed to be in high spirits considering he had nearly been raped (again), it just didn't feel right. The boy should have been depressed and closed off, afraid of people everywhere, not willing to dress like a "wannabe slut" for the sake of getting cheaper plane tickets and free food. Why was he stepping up and acting like the adult of the situation?

'_I know that with numerous fractures in both of my hands I'm pretty useless, but is this okay? Should I say something to Mello?'_

They had just lost another home, another life and were in the delicate transitioning process. It was expected that he would be sad, a little bummed out, and maybe even a little angry, but he wasn't. He was…happy.

Squeezing into another skirt, Mello smiled to himself. They were finally away from that horrible Cuba! This time, he would make sure that when they moved, L wouldn't have such a demanding job and that he'd be able to go out more often. Being alone all the time was so boring and lonely. He'd already looked up different places in South Africa and found a place that he wanted to move to. Thankfully, L was just doing what he said and not arguing. Glancing back, he saw the worried expression on the older man's face.

"Is something wrong, L?"

"No, it's just…are you okay?"

A heavy feeling clenched in his chest, but Mello kept his eyes sparkling and his mouth smiling. "Yup! Now hurry up 'Mom'!"

Sitting on their non-stop flight, Mello had plenty of time to think. L was still exhausted from his injuries and the drugs that he had been taking for the pain, so he was sound asleep in his chair. Against their wishes, several men had attempted to hit on him, so Mello had to be the bitchy daughter to scare them away. It was getting harder to be the girl. Looking down at his thigh-high skirt, he frowned. His voice was starting to deepen and soon he wouldn't be able to play a cute girl anymore.

'_It's ridiculous that I'm getting bothered by this. After all, wasn't I insulted when he first suggested that I act and dress like a girl?'_

Staring at the sleeping man, Mello let his eyes wander down to the hands entombed in casts and braces. Watching L go berserk like that had been frightening, but it had also been exhilarating. Someone was willing to kill just for him. Remembering that fury in those eyes and the way that he kept punching even when the both of those pigs were unconscious made him shiver in pleasure.

Still, along with those memories came the other memories. Dragging L away as the sounds of police sirens became louder. Begging a pimp to take them in and hide them. Offering his services just to get smuggled back to America. Frowning, Mello refused to shake those thoughts out of his mind. He would not be embarrassed with what he had done. When those two jerks had tried to rape him, he made a promise to himself. Never again would be put himself in a position to be raped or hurt again. No longer would men use him, but _he _would be the one to use men. Such carnal creatures, all he had to do was give a blow job here and there and maybe even offer up a little more and they would be in the palm of his hands.

But L would never have to know all that. L might get disgusted and decide to throw him away, and he couldn't have that, not this far into their little game.

Shifting uncomfortably, L peered through his half-lidded eyes at the boy. "You didn't meet missionaries, did you?" he mumbled sleepily.

Mello shook his head. The drugs would keep L from remembering this conversation. "No, I've never met missionaries in my life."

"Huh. Okay." The dark eyes slipped behind their cover once more and Mello stared out the window as their flight continued.

/_/_/_/

The beautiful sound of ocean waves crashing floated through the air, dancing happily before falling onto inattentive ears. Both of the runaways had managed to get a nice comfortable home by the ocean, and nothing exciting or unfortunate had happened since their arrival in Somerset West, South Africa.

Sitting on the chair next to L's bed, Mello watched him carefully, as his chest rose and fell softly with each deep breath. His never-ending eyes were shut behind a veil of flesh and his mouth hung open just the slightest bit. Mello tilted his head thoughtfully as he took in the seemingly juvenile way in which Lawliet slept. His bandaged thumb was pressed against his lips almost as if he was going to take it into his mouth at any moment, and he was curled up on his side like a kitten. Even his wild hair seemed childish.

'_What am I going to do?' _he thought wearily.

That very thought had been troubling him for a while, but it had come back with a vengeance as soon as they arrived at their new home. No, he wasn't wondering what he was going to do the next day, or the day after that. Mello was thinking of something more long-term. What was he going to do about L? About being _with _L? The grim reality was that if L ever got tired of him or if he ever wanted to leave the man, he would be sent back to Wammy's House. He knew that he would be miserable for the rest of his life if he did that, so there had to be another way around the situation. Biting his lip, Mello struggled with the delicate situation; he needed to make sure that L wouldn't get tired of him, and yet he didn't just want to be a sex doll or anything for L because then _he _would want to get away from the man. There had to be some kind of middle-ground.

'_Well, duh, it could just be a mutual relationship.'_ Mello chuckled softly as the idea struck him. _'After all, isn't how this whole thing started off? I encouraged his affections and I even consented to our first time having sex. It really wasn't _that _bad, and it could have been a lot better if I had been a little more used to the feelings.'_

Shifting in his seat to get more comfortable, the blond teenager sighed. The reality was that he was possiblyattracted to the older man. However, he was still scared of L losing control again. That was the thing that held him back now from crawling into the comforting bed with the older man. If they had intimate contact again, what would guarantee that L wouldn't take him against his will again? Sure, he believed that L felt bad for the rape, but that didn't mean he wouldn't lose his mind and do it again.

'_Wait, I already swore to myself that I would never let anyone use me again! I'll never put myself into a situation where I could possibly be raped! So, that means…'_

Grinning to himself, Mello nearly burst out laughing at the ridiculous idea that was forming in his mind. It was so ludicrous, so absolutely bizarre that he almost brushed it away without giving a second thought. Then again…it just might be the thing that they needed.

/_/_/_/

Sitting on a strangely familiar beach, L watched as Mello enjoyed himself out in the dangerous waves. He really, really hated beaches. Sighing unhappily, he stared down at his useless hands and wondered how he had managed to break so many bones.

'_Finger bones are very fragile, of course, but they're pretty resilient. I must have punched those guys exceptionally hard and quite a number of times to have done so much damage to myself.'_

A murmuring crowd drew his attention away from his carpals and phalanges, and L turned his head to see what was going on. Eyes widening in surprise, he saw two men in a spar with a strange looking martial art. At first, it seemed like they were just dancing, swaying to a distinctly Brazilian piece of music, but then they launched into a series of kicks and ducks and jumps, all spinning together and flowing like one giant move. It was quite beautiful to watch, and for a few minutes, L allowed himself to focus on the two men. Their dark skin glistened under the hot rays of the sun, but they were smiling with those white teeth and launching vicious attacks that were easily countered. It was a game in which the object wasn't to hurt the other, but rather to predict the moves and act accordingly. It was entertainment, and yet he could see past that into the moves themselves. If those men were fighting an inexperienced person like him, they could easily send him to the hospital or even kill him.

"Pretty cool, huh?"

Jerking his head, L saw Mello walking to him. His blond hair was plastered to his head before he shook it out. "Yes. It's an interesting form of defense and attack."

"Looks like they're doing a lot of kicking. I wonder why?"

"Well, different fighting styles focus on different parts of the body and ways of attack. Generally, legs are much stronger than arms, thus, if you focus on kicking you could do more damage to an opponent."

"But they haven't landed a single blow," Mello mumbled as he set his surfboard down and sat next to the older man.

"Because that isn't their intention." L smiled at the teen. "They're just doing this for the entertainment. And all of us are entertained, I'd say."

"I'm impressed," the boy stated haughtily. "Do you think that I could learn it?"

L moved to ruffle the boy's hair before remembering that his bandaged fingers could do no such thing. "Of course, Mello. You're smart and talented; you can do anything that you put your mind to."

"You can do anything that you wanted, too! Why don't you try? Besides, if you learn, then maybe you won't break your delicate fingers if you get in a fight again."

Chuckling, L bumped the teen with his shoulder. "You just want an excuse to spar with me and release pent up frustrations."

Mello grinned wickedly and decided that teasing the man would prove to be even more entertaining. "Nope. Besides, I know of a much better way of relieving pent up _frustrations_, and it involves something a lot closer than sparring.

L froze and gave a quick side-long glance at the grinning teen. Was he being…suggestive? Sexually suggestive? No, that was impossible. There had to be a different meaning! But, how many different way could that actually be taken? What other ways were there of reliving pent up frustrations that involved something closer than sparring? Knitting was a no-go, reading wasn't even a reliever of stress, and…hell, he had no idea what that blond devil was thinking.

Speaking of which, the blond devil allowed his Cheshire grin to curl on his lips as he noticed the older man sweating a little more and looking uncomfortable. His lips were pursed in thought as he tried analyzing the unexpected comment. Mello just shrugged and leaned back with his hands crossed behind his head. "Yup. Something that would involve you, me, and some sweat."

Holy shit, that comment went straight to his groin. L blushed and tried to stare out at the ocean in hopes of ignoring his hard-on. It was impossible for that comment _not _to be sexual in nature. But it didn't make sense! Mello didn't want anything to do with him in that regard, so why this teasing? Was this his idea of a joke? Or was he being cruel and poking the nerves that he knew were still exposed and sensitive? "Wh-what exactly did you have in mind?" he questioned, wanting to settle this quickly. He didn't want to get his hopes up just to be hurt. There needed to be clarity in their intentions. Strange how he never noticed how dry his mouth was before.

Sunlight floated down, basking the salty, wet body of the boy. His smile was still perfectly in place, giving off a nice view of the sparkling white teeth and peach lips. "I was thinking something along the lines of having sex." There, bluntly and without hesitation.

Recoiling in surprise, L couldn't help but stare at the tanning boy in shock. "How could you…I mean, don't you…you're just-!"

"Cat got your tongue?" Mello mumbled, opening up an eye lazily and looking completely unfazed.

Glancing around to make sure that no one was listening in on their conversation, L turned his attention back to Mello. "No. I will absolutely not do such a thing with you again."

This time, it was Mello's turn to be surprised. "What? What do you mean, 'no'?"

"Why are you getting upset!" L hissed, now a bit irritated. "If anything, I should be the one upset here. I hurt you badly and you made it clear that you weren't going to engage in such intimacy with me again, and now all of a sudden you're acting like everything's fine and you're ready to get into my pants? No, this is too fishy, and I won't fall into your sadistic traps just to get hurt."

"Have I ever said anything that I didn't mean? Wait, don't answer that, but this is different! I think that I had a right to be a little pissed and hurt that you did something like that to me!"

"That's not what I have an issue with, and you know that."

"L, don't be such a juvenile! I'm offering you the chance to have sex with me again, and you're _refusing_?"

A twitch of irritation under a baggy eye caught Mello's attention before it was brought back to those pale smooth lips. "Contrary to what you and everyone but Light thinks, having sex is not the only damn thing I think about! I care about _you_, you as a person, and if my never having sex with you again will keep this relationship going and free from pain, then that's what I'll do."

"But what if I say that you not having sex with me will be what causes pain!" By now, Mello was shouting, and L glanced around nervously. Still, no one paid them any attention as most of the people were still entranced with the martial art display.

Sighing unhappily, he leaned closer to the boy and stared deep into his eyes. Those aquamarine eyes were bloodshot from being exposed to the saltwater, but they were still crystal clear. His emotions were pouring out, exposing his intentions as clearly as the words on a crisp sheet of paper. He wasn't lying. There was still the worry, the fear of being hurt, but there was a longing in those eyes. Perhaps he just wanted to find some kind of love, and needed the comfort of being held? Or maybe he really could lo-…no, L would not go there. He would not allow that thought any kind of hold on him. Mello was going to grow up, and he would leave at the first chance he had. It broke his heart thinking that way, but it was best to prepare himself early.

"Mello," his whispered, brushing his bandaged hand against the boy's cheek, "don't think that I say these things because I don't want you. The reality is that I want you badly, and that is enough for me to hold myself back. I will not give myself an opportunity to hurt you again."

There was a sparkle in the child's eye before it flitted away. "I know. And I will never put myself in a situation where you can hurt me."

Confused, L tilted his head. "But you just-"

"Just promise me, L," the boy insisted. "Promise me that you'll at least give this a try before depriving me of physical contact forever."

"Deprive you of physical contact? What exactly is _this _that you're talking about?"

"Promise me," Mello pushed, not revealing anything.

There it was, the firm unyielding glare that he had reveled in upon first laying eyes on Mello. The boy wasn't leaving him much of a choice, but L would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he wanted to give in easily, that he _wanted _a reason to touch the angel again. Carefully placing a look of weariness and some caution, he nodded his head. "Fine, I'll do this your way. As long as you can guarantee that I won't be able to hurt you."

"It's a deal." Mello relaxed his shoulders and fell back onto the sand with his eyes closed and an exhausted sigh. L turned back to the spar that was winding down and allowed the furrow in his brow to relax.

/_/_/_/

"How, um, interesting."

Mello chuckled as he leaned back to examine his handiwork. He had been practicing secretly for several weeks before he had made L the proposition of engaging in sexual intercourse once more. Now, he stared at the beautiful twists and turns of the biting rope on naked flesh and felt a heat pooling up in his stomach. L's blindfolded face turned in his direction and a neutral frown remained on his lips. "Does it hurt?" Mello asked.

L shook his head. "Not much. A bit tight in a few areas, but nothing cutting off circulation."

"That's good."

There was a brief pause before L coughed a little uncomfortably. "I didn't know that you liked this kind of thing, Mello."

Examining to make sure that L wouldn't be able to wiggle out of the hemp constraints he shook his head, forgetting that the older man couldn't see anything. "I've never considered getting into kinky stuff, much less bondage. This isn't like that at all. This is just to make sure that you don't have the ability to hurt me. I can get up at any time and leave you like this until you cool down."

Now the older man chuckled, with a hint of nervousness. "Yes, you could do that. But, you could also leave me unfulfilled merely on a whim and I would be in helpless agony."

"You're just going to have to trust that I won't do that," Mello replied smartly. "I guess that this whole thing is about trust. If this works out and you learn to control those emotions, then I can release you little by little. We'll be building trust in each other even while pleasuring our bodies."

"I can see that you've thought this out," L mumbled as he tested the rope.

"Of course I have," the child snorted in amusement. "I'm not a genius for nothing. I don't do things on impulse you know." Even without being able to see L's dark eyes, Mello felt the glare. "Oh, alright, _sometimes _I do things on impulse, but this wasn't one of those times."

"As long as you acknowledge it, love."

"So, just give me a second. I need to take my clothes off before we go any further."

Gulping, L pulled his legs up to hide the fact that just hearing such a thing already made him hard. _'It's a good thing that I can't see Mello getting undressed, or this would be a lot harder for me,' _he thought to himself. However, he had failed to take into account that his lack of eyesight only increased his other senses, including his imagination. The soft rustle of cloth against cloth began to paint a picture in his intelligent mind, providing more than enough fodder for his sex drive.

"Feeling okay?" Mello teased as the long dragged sound of his hand running across his flat stomach echoed in their small bedroom. L could "see" that evil smirk, that golden hair bouncing even as the child shuffled across the hardwood floor, his feet eliciting a few squeaks from the wood. The sound of their fan turning its endless cartwheels seemed to get louder, but not loud enough to block out the sound of a lithe body alighting onto the freshly washed sheets, and…oh, the smell. L trembled as he noticed how the smell of lavender linens had suddenly been invaded by the whisper of oranges.

"C-citrus shampoo?" he croaked, surprised at how lame his tongue seemed to be, weighing exceptionally heavy. It felt too large for his mouth, too awkward to move, and his throat was constricting.

For a moment, there wasn't a reply, just the sound of the constantly moisturized skin creeping over the sheets, closer to a very helpless and very aroused adult. The smell was stronger, and L knew that Mello was hovering next to his ear. "You bought it for me, didn't you?" Mello whispered, allowing his breath to tease the pale skin. His smile widened as he saw the shudder and the way that L's skin started to flush a pastel pink.

L just nodded in response, leaning away from the torment as best as he could. Mello just leaned closer, loving how uncomfortable the older man was looking. The past two times they were in this situation, things hadn't quite played in his favor like this, and oddly enough he now found himself aroused. Closing his own eyes, he allowed the sugary sweet smell of the constrained man to float over him, to engulf him. Breathing more deeply, he noticed the subtle hint of something much headier, something intoxicating. Peeking down, he nearly moaned as he saw the swollen organ, painted with a deep flush.

'_W-well, this is new,'_ Mello thought as he tried to swallowed back all the saliva his mouth seemed to be producing. _'When did the sight of that _beast _turn me on?' _Looking down at his own figure, he couldn't help but chuckle. _'I've grown up quite a bit.'_

"M-mello," L groaned, already panting even though he hadn't been so much as touched yet.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you."

Using the element of surprise to his advantage, the blond pried open his lover's milky thighs and went down on the engorged flesh. L's wail of pleasure was unexpected, but it went straight down to his own member.

"Ngh, ah, M-me-meelllooo!" The feeling was absolutely mind-blowing. That wet heat was working around his shaft, but even better was the obscene sounds. A smack of lips, a pop as his dick slipped from the sucking mouth, a gag as Mello tried to push down further. "Too so-oon! C-come, nnah, coming!"

Pulling back, Mello allowed his hand to feverishly stroke the saliva-coated cock until the hot seed spilled out all over his hand. Panting, he looked up to see L's flushed face, with his head thrown back and his mouth hanging open in a soundless scream. Lolling his head forward, a whimper escaped his lips along with a barely breathed _Mello_.

"O-okay, that went well," Mello commented, shifting to a more comfortable position. "I'm going to do that a few more times and then when you're a little more tired we'll have intercourse."

"What about you?" L wheezed as he tried unsuccessfully to shift his position. The rope keeping his ankles tied to his wrists were making any kind of movement precarious.

"I'll jerk off if I need to," he assured even as he gave his erect flesh a few good strokes with his slick hand.

"Mello, that's not fair. I don't want you to not enjoy it."

Grinning, Mello leaned down and gave a quick lick to the wet tip, enjoying the sight of the man tensing and blushing. "Trust me; I'm enjoying this very much."

Four orgasms later, Mello had to admit that he was in awe of L's stamina. Each climax seemed to get stronger and stronger for the man, even as he became more exhausted. The rope was already starting to chafe his delicate pink skin and Mello finally felt comfortable enough to proceed. He was safe; there was no way that anything could go wrong. If L tried anything, he could just up and leave. It was as simple as that, he would just leave. Reaching over to the cherry lube he forced L to buy, he allowed the slick substance to dribble down his hand.

"Hahh, hnnn, are you okay?" L mumbled, trying not to complain about the burning in his muscles or the pain that the rope had inflicted. He was going to need a lot of Neosporin for that.

Mello bit back a whimper as he forced a finger into his own body. The angle was awkward, but he forced himself to continue. Nothing he was feeling now compared to the agony of the rape, so he could handle this. Spreading his legs further, he used his other hand to slowly stroke his own cock, hoping that it would be enough of a distraction.

It didn't take a genius to figure out what Mello was doing. The squelching noises, the scent of cherry lube, and the soft rocking on the bed were more than enough for L. He shuddered in delight just imagining what his little angel looked like while prepping himself. It was coming, the act that could easily send him into throes of madness. Already, he felt that haze picking at the edges of his consciousness, the overwhelming desire to take this child, to claim him inside and out. It was like a drug, slowly seeping through his senses, taking over before he could recognize it. A sharp tug to the restraints reminded him that he could not submit to the haze even if he wanted to. Desperation began welling up in him, making him tug a little more insistently at the confines of rope. What if Mello changed his mind again? What if he just left?

Through his discomfort, Mello carefully watched as L got more antsy. He was tugging at the ropes and trying to adjust his position more. It could just be that he was sore from being in the same position for nearly an hour, but the blond's instincts were screaming that it was that horrid lust. The large cock was standing at attention already, begging to find solace in a young body. Biting his lip, he reminded himself that everything would be okay. L wasn't just going to break past all those knots and rape him raw. That was impossible. Everything was going to be okay. All he had to do was hurry things up and get L off one last time today.

"L, I…I think I'm ready." His fingers slipped out of his burning body, trembling as he forced himself to crawl forward to the object of his fear. Yes, he was afraid. Afraid of putting that thing in the very orifice that had been torn badly enough for stitches, that had left him in a fevered mess on and off for months.

Swallowing thickly, L forced himself to remain in control. This was Mello putting faith in him, and he wasn't going to let the boy down. He would rather castrate himself then do such a horrible thing again. "Take your time," he whimpered, even as his engorged member pulsed with desire.

Sweaty palms were placed on the older man's shoulders as Mello straddled the trembling thighs and swelling cock. He was shaking as well, partially because of the burn in his legs as he slowly lowered himself and partially because of the fear burning in his chest. "I can do this," he whispered, closing his own eyes. "I'm strong, I can do this."

Feeling tears prick at his eyes, L wanted more than ever to wrap his arms around the teen and comfort him. Mello was being so strong, was giving him a gift more precious than diamonds. Leaning forward, he used his instinct to find that whispering mouth and took it into his own, caressing it tenderly and pouring out all of the emotions bubbling inside. Yes, there was the blinding lust and the need to dominate, but there was even more of a feeling so much warmer and calmer.

Mello's arms wrapped around L's neck as he deepened the kiss, taking all of the comfort that he could get. The hot flesh was rubbing against his prepared body, teasing the entrance before the blond pushed down and forced it into himself. "G-gah!" he cried out as the head made its way into him.

"Shhhh," L soothed, sprinkling fairy-light kisses along the boy's neck.

"Y-you're so d-damn huge!" he hissed before pausing to let the stretching flesh adjust.

L panted, tossing his head before forcing himself to go back to kissing the boy. He could not focus on _down there_ or he would go insane. The heat wanted to swallow him, but Mello needed to go slowly so that he wouldn't get hurt. Slowly, agonizingly slow. "It's okay," he forced out through gritted teeth. "Take your t-time."

Nodding, Mello took some deep calming breaths before pushing down some more. The pain was there, threatening to make his vision to swim as he stared at the popcorn ceiling with the fan spinning round and round. Still, he was going to do this. He _wanted _to. Why? Tears stung at his eyes as he tightened his grip on the raven-haired man's neck. "I c-can't go further," he wheezed, a little proud of how much he had been able to take in. The fullness was pushing his body to the limit and he didn't want to cross that line and hurt himself.

"Okay, love, don't push yourself," L comforted, trying his best not to weep from the pain of having to remain still inside of that pulsating heat.

Brushing back the frazzled hair that was sticking to his sweaty forehead, Mello couldn't help but offer a snarky reply. "But I have to, 'cause you're all tied up."

L chuckled before groaning as Mello lifted himself up slowly. The flesh was hugging his cock tightly, not wanting to let go so easily, but the teen was relentless. As soon as he got to the head, he paused for a few more shaky breaths before pushing down again. With each motion, up and down, up and down, Mello's body adjusted and relaxed and L was able to thrust up a little bit. The teen was beginning to fall into that haze, into the madness that consumed all men. This time things felt good, and he wanted more of it. Ignoring his screaming leg muscles, he dug his nails into L's shoulders and began riding faster, screaming when L's member hit his prostate dead on.

"A-again," L begged. "That sound!"

"Ungh, ungh, right _there_!" His vision became splotchy with white lights as L began thrusting mercilessly against his prostate. Screaming with abandon, he was swept away by the crashing wave of orgasm. It was like that moment in surfing when the water crushes your body, dragging you down into the swirling white depths. Silence and emptiness.

"We're going to have to make some rules about this," L mumbled after recovering from his own experience. Having managed to get his blindfold to slip off, he saw Mello sleeping on his side, obviously passed out from the mind-blowing climax. Unfortunately, he had fallen asleep without bothering to untie the older man. "I think…I'm going to die," he grumbled as a cramp attacked his hamstrings. Still, he couldn't be mad at the boy, and he fell to his side and just stared at his angel, watching as the boy wandered through the lands of dreams.

/_/_/_/

"I want to go to school," Mello pouted.

"This again?" L looked up at the blond for a moment before lifting up his sprained ankle and tying on the cold compress. "You don't need to go to school."

"But I want toooooo," he whined, flopping himself on the shiny floor. "It's better than staying cooped up in this house all day."

"What's wrong with this house?" Personally, L thought that their modest home had everything necessary for a comfortable life and saw nothing that needed improvement. They each had a bedroom and a bathroom (after he learned about Mello's three hour long morning rituals), there was a nice kitchen, a large living room with enough bookshelf space for all of their books, and a beautiful back yard with a patio and a great view of the ocean. What more did Mello want?

"There's nothing wrong with the house," Mello sighed.

"Then why don't you like staying here? I mean, we go to the beach every day, we go shopping every Thursday, and I even take you out to the city just to walk on Mondays and Wednesdays. It's not like you're locked in here all alone."

"I know."

"That didn't answer my question."

"…It's nothing. Never mind."

Nibbling on a lightly bandaged finger, L watched the boy go limp on the floor. Mello was definitely bothered with something, but he obviously didn't want to confide in his lover. Was there something really wrong with the house and he was afraid of hurting L's feelings? "I can change anything in the house, if you want," he tried. "Really, it won't hurt my feelings."

"I said, 'it's not the house' already."

"Then why won't you tell me!"

Tilting his head to look at the frustrated adult, Mello allowed another sigh. "How long have we lived in this place?"

"About a year and a half."

"And how old am I?"

"Nearly 15."

"What do I do?"

"You read, practice the piano, play games, take pictures, organize your photos, practice your computer skills, take capoeira lessons with me, go shopping with me, surf, tan-"

"Okay, that's enough! Do you see anything wrong with that picture?"

L paused to mull it over. Honestly, it sounded like a pretty darn good life. "Nope."

"Gah, you won't understand!" Huffing angrily, Mello rolled to his other side, presenting his bare back to L.

"Then explain it to me," the man prodded. "I'm a quick learner."

Glancing over his shoulder, Mello thought about it and then turned back to face the opposing couch. "Don't…don't you ever miss being around people?"

The question caught L off guard, but he answered honestly. "No. We're around people all the time when we go out."

"Yeah, but I'm talking about actually hanging out with people. Talking to them, and stuff."

Wincing as he moved his injured foot, L tried to understand what Mello was saying. "But we do talk to them. Master Viera and Master Binda have to talk to us to properly explain the capoeira moves. Besides, we have casual conversations with the waiters when we go out to eat."

Sighing irritably, Mello decided that a willing recluse like L would never understand the emptiness he was feeling. He could never understand the loneliness of never being able to see his best friend again or of not being allowed to be around children his age. L didn't like those things and definitely didn't need them to function, but that's not how Mello was. He wanted to play around with other teens, go out and watch movies, surf with them, do something, _anything_ with people his age. There was no use in even trying to pretend that L was a peer; when he wasn't acting like an adult he was acting like a little fifth grader. It was ridiculous and did nothing to promote sanity.

Rolling his eyes, he figured that it would be a waste of time even trying to explain it to the idiotic genius. "Fine, you're right." Well, he could still poke fun at the man. "But you know, even with the masters telling us how to do things, you still hurt yourself!"

L stuck out his tongue as he leaned back on the couch. "Perhaps if you were a better sparring partner I wouldn't have to use improper attacking positions to avoid actually hitting you."

"Oh sure, blame it on me." Grinning, he rolled to his feet and made his way to the couch. Once there, he seated himself on the man's flattening stomach, amazed at the figure that was being sculpted out of flesh thanks to the hours spent learning capoeira.

L held up his almost fully healed hands and took a gentle hold of the teen's face. He could see the sadness in those eyes, the yearning for something that he could not understand. "Kiss?"

Mello nodded and leaned in, pressing a slow and comforting kiss to his lips. In the year that that they had been working on their physical relationship, L could honestly say that he was happy. They had some ups and some downs (which included leaving him tied up and sexually frustrated all night long), but it was all worth it. That Mello could feel comfortable enough to be so intimate with him and not whine and complain was awesome.

Later that night, L was rubbing his sore wrists as he watched Mello sleeping. It was good that he was a horny teenager and could do it every night these days. All of their practice had really paid off; he could now enjoy their copulation without losing complete control to his desires. It seemed that his lack of control really had been his sexual frustrations that had built up since Beyond had been put in the mental institute. Now that his sexual appetites were sated, there was no need to lose control. Still, Mello needed the bondage as a crutch. The boy had gotten much better at adjusting to L's girth, and could even play a little rough, but as soon as the bonds were loosened he would freak out.

Still, it didn't bother L much. If he could get what he wanted and Mello would do it happily, then everything was good. Smiling, he wrapped his arms around the beautiful child, holding him close. Their conversation earlier that day was still running through his mind. Was there something that Mello was missing, something that made him feel incomplete? If there was, it was his duty to fulfill that need. But what could he do if he couldn't figure out what that need was? Looking back, he knew that Mello had been wanting to go to school, but that didn't make any sense. Nothing that they could teach in the local schools would be new or interesting to the blond. He learned far more from L and all the books that were provided to him. So, if it wasn't the schooling, the education, why would Mello want to go to school?

"_Don't you ever miss being around people?"_

Stroking back locks of blond hair, L allowed the answer to wash over him. Mello was lonely. As much as he was prone to forgetting it, Mello was still a child, and he still had childish needs and desires.

"I'm sorry, love," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the boy's temple. "I'll let you go to school if that's what you want."

/_/_/_/

Voices were down to a dull roar throughout the market as Almost carefully picked out some food. His slender fingers tested the tomatoes' firmness, ran across the length of the cucumber, sampled the spicy cooked duck. City of the Angels, his newest home. Grabbing his environmentally-friendly tote bag, he sorted his vegetables and then added his wrapped meat on top.

"Thank you."

There was someone following him, and he knew it. Perverts were everywhere, always surrounding him. Of course, it didn't help that he was wearing thigh high shorts and his long hair free. Being mistaken for a girl was common enough. Adjusting the strap on his shoulder, Almost casually took a detour into a side alley. There were a few druggies, but they never offered any problems. Most of the time they would watch events unfold with wide eyes and then would mumble about _Death _walking among the living.

"Hey, sweetheart, don't you know how dangerous it is out here?" The disgusting voice was smothered with false concern, with sweet poison.

"I know," he replied softly, turning around to face the man who was eager to force himself into those tight shorts. "Big cities are always dangerous."

"Yeah, why don't you come with me? I'll take you to somewhere safe."

"Oh, I'm sure you will," Almost sneered sarcastically.

"Fine, bitch, you wanna do this the hard way? I'm up for that."

Even as the man stepped forward menacingly, Almost found himself smiling. This kind of people were pigs, swine that didn't deserve the air that they breathed much less the ground that they walked on. That's why he got a sick sense of pleasure as he watched the man's eyes widened in surprise and pain. There was a knife wedged between his ribs and into his right lung. He didn't even need to see it to know that because Beyond was smiling in just _that _way. A cloth was shoved into the man's mouth before he could scream and then with a swift kick, the man's knee snapped with a loud crunch.

"Hello, love," Beyond purred, stepping over the shocked man. "Can you believe that yet another person was trying to get into your slutty little pants?"

"Sadly, yes."

Almost set down his tote bags on a nearby trashcan before allowing himself to slip into those arms and opening himself to those kisses. He knew that this would happen, even as he helped the murderer escape from the mental institution. It wasn't a far stretch of reasoning to expect the serial killer to go back to his old ways, especially as he suffered from the withdrawal pains. Having been forced on drugs since he was twelve years old, Beyond's body was used to the chemical imbalance which gave him a compulsion to kill. Trying to break the bonds that were holding him down to that kind of lifestyle was difficult and sometimes resulted in psychosis. It was on these days that Almost would leave the house, would wear his sluttiest get-up, would seduce perverts with the sway of his hips.

A hand slipped it's bony fingers around his throat, squeezing even as those smiling lips continued to kiss. The strength in those digits were frightening, threatening his very life, but Almost would not be scared. Life on the run with a crazy man had taught him many things. It taught him how to overcome his fears, how to be resourceful, to use his extensive knowledge of human psychology to bend people to his will. But most of all, it taught him the meaning of love.

The man on the ground groaned in pain and tried to crawl away, but Beyond released his hold on his lover and turned to his prey. That demonic glint was in his eye, a blood red desire to kill. Watching helplessly, Almost leaned against the wall and rubbed at the bruises around his neck. He was enabling Beyond to do this, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't help the fascination of watching the man create art in his killings and getting away without a trace.

"I love you," he whispered, watching the monster inflict pain.

"Kya ha ha ha!"

/_/_/_/

Children were everywhere, gossiping, laughing, and causing all kinds of mischief. However, for the first time in his adult life, L didn't feel the familiar stir in his loins by looking at any of them. Perhaps it was because he couldn't really _look _at any of them when his eyes were constantly drawn to Mello. The boy was practically glowing in joy as his bright eyes absorbed the lively surrounding.

"So, I'll pick you up after school," L whispered, brushing back the golden hair.

"Okay," Mello replied a little distractedly as he looked around at the others. His feet were itching to run along with the others, his tongue ready to communicate for hours without cease.

"Bridge House School is a renowned school and should at least keep you from getting bored. The education is almost at genius level, so…enjoy."

"Uh huh, okay." After glancing around at the institution that would entertain him for most of the day, Mello turned back to his lover for a moment. "Yeah, I'll see you in a few hours." Smiling, he leaned up on his toes to give L a kiss.

L almost took the kiss eagerly, but remembered the place and time. Jerking back, he pressed his fingers to Mello's lips. "Later. And don't forget your new name and backstory."

Nodding, Mello turned his back to the older man and rushed off into the crowd of children, eager to make a name for himself.

Forcing himself to walk away from his lover, L approached their new car slowly. It hurt to be away from Mello after nearly three years on the run. They had always had each other, but now Mello would have others and he…he could not contact those he still loved. He would not put Light in danger again. He had read the news of Quillsh trying to charge Light as an accessory to the kidnapping and it made him regret his actions even more. It was a good thing that Light was beating into submission a highly capable lawyer. Those came in handy.

Once seated in the car, he drove it to a previously prepared "hideout" and pulled out his binoculars. Just because he couldn't be near Mello didn't mean that he still couldn't watch the boy.

/_/_/_/

"Matt?"

Near peeked through the crack of the door and saw the brunette seated on his bed as he leaned on the edge of the windowsill. His back was to the door, but the younger boy could still see the smoke winding its way to the blue sky.

"Y-yeah?" Matt replied, not bothering to turn around.

Near stepped into the room and shut the door quietly behind him. "So…you heard?"

The messy bed-head nodded. "Yup. Aren't you excited? I mean, how awesome is that? There are people who want to adopt you!"

Each word cut into the pale boy's heart. How could Matt act so detached and casual? Why wasn't he upset that there was a pair of people who wanted to separate them? Sure, most orphans dreamed of being adopted into a loving family that would take care of them, and even he had hoped for that at one point. But that had been before…

"Am I supposed to be happy?" Near mumbled as he looked down at the scratchy carpet.

"Duh! Come on, they're even rich. That means that you can have all the toys that you want." Matt tapped his cigarette on the already burn-covered wood of the windowsill. "It's a great match, you and the new parents. Lucky that they want an intelligent heir, don't you think?"

Logically, there was only one answer. "Yes." But staring at the back of the boy that he'd been falling in love with was doing something funny to his logic. It was scrambling it up like the breakfast food he'd never wanted to eat. It was taking his logic and throwing it out the window. It was making his heart thump uncomfortably and his eyes watered.

"See? And you liked them, didn't you?"

The parents had been polite enough, both successful business people who would not have time to bother him. "Yes."

"Heh, at least they're not drug lords or gangsters, right?"

"Right."

They both fell into an uncomfortable silence, and still Matt didn't turn around. His shoulders shook a little before going still again. "Well, y-you better get ready. They're going to pick you up tomorrow."

"Will you be there?"

Matt shook his head unconsciously even as he tried to keep his words cheerful. "If it's not too early! I like my beauty sleep."

"…Alright."

Turning away, Near slipped out just as quietly as he had slipped in. Glossy, tear-filled eyes finally revealed themselves to make sure that they boy had actually left. Seeing that the coast was clear, Matt let out the sob that he had been struggling to keep in. Throwing the cigarette out the window, he dropped his face into his crossed arms on the windowsill and let it all out. How could he live without Near, his dearest Nate? Stupid smart kids, always doing this to him! Mello had run away and left him to figure out how to survive alone and now that he finally got Near, he was leaving too? Why did they keep running away? Why didn't they want to stay?

"Ungh, I d-don't want you t-to go!" he sobbed into his arms.

He was tired of being alone, but Matt didn't have the heart to try to hold Near back. It was the same with Mello. Wouldn't it be selfish of him to try to keep them all to himself? He didn't have enough hubris to assume that he was their world. He was a nobody, just someone that one could waste time with until life showed up and swept them away. Near was being offered loving rich parents who would nurture his intelligence and potential. They would take an orphan and bring up a qualified heir to their businesses. Men and women would bow at the feet of the powerful and successful Nate. Who was he to stop that? No one. He was a nobody that even parents didn't want. And still he cried for the boy that he could never deserve.

Nate River stared at the ceiling all night long, thinking. Why did he seem so reluctant to go with his new parents? Why wasn't he excited and smiling? It wasn't that he couldn't. Just the other day he had laughed at Matt's silly antics and had even run into the older boy's arms excitedly. So why did he feel that he had just received a death sentence?

"They're perfect for me. Reserved, dignified, intelligent. Perfect."

The words he spoke to himself did nothing to shoo those dreadful feelings away. Why? Wasn't even Matt happy that he had received such an opportunity? Then again, those shoulders…they shook from the effort of holding something back. Was it…tears? Grabbing at the pajama material over his heart, Near felt sick as he imagined Matt crying over his departure. If he didn't want Near to go, why didn't he just say so? Why would he-

"_Are you in trouble?"_

"_Just got grounded. It's no big deal."_

Isn't that what Matt had claimed after that despicable Mello ran away? The blond had been his best friend and yet Matt didn't hold him back. He didn't try to step in and force the blond to stay with him. It was just his nature to place other's wishes above his own.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Near decided that he could not in good conscious just sit by and let Matt be hurt like that. They had been together for over two years, had promised to raise Furby like a good baby and had shared quiet special moments with each other. To throw all that away like it was nothing would make him just as bad as that stupid egotistical blond. He-who-should-not-be-named-ever-again.

/_/_/_/

Sitting up in bed, Mello let out a large sneeze. L jerked awaked before realizing what had happened. Chuckling, he rubbed the teen's bare back comfortingly. "Are you okay?"

"Ngh, yeah," he mumbled sleepily. "S'm'one must've been talking bad about me."

"What?"

Rubbing his eyes the blond shook his hair out of his face. "Some people think that you sneeze when people talk bad about you. Don't ask why; I have no clue."

"In that case, there must have been a lot of angry people with Light," L snorted. "And here I was just thinking that he had allergies."

"That Light guy? Tch, he was a dick."

/_/_/_/

"Aaaachoooo!" Light reached for another tissue before staring at his computer screen in disgust. "Ugh, why are these damn allergies always attacking me after I get a literary prize?"

Misa shrugged from her spot on the bed. "Misa thinks that Light works too hard. Why doesn't Light allow Misa-Misa to comfort him?"

"Wait, isn't today Mikami's turn to be saran wrapped?"

/_/_/_/

"Near! Your parents are here!" The excited squeal on the other side of the door made the young boy cringe. Linda really needed to quit eating so much sugar. Looking down at himself, Near braced himself for his grandest performance ever. If this didn't work, nothing would. There would be nothing to keep him and Matt together anymore. This was going to be ugly.

"Shut the fuck up, Linda!" he screeched before pushing the door open. The girl on the other side was utterly stunned and her mouth literally dropped as she took in the appearance of the number one genius at the orphanage. "Now, move out of my bitch." She stepped aside and just gaped as he walked down the hall to the stairs. Another kid was running up the stairs, but he too jerked to a halt at the bizarre scene.

Dressed in black from head to toe, Near had managed to cut a pair of he-who-shall-not-be-nammed's old pants into something that fit him snuggly. He had no idea how that blond had managed to get into them in the first place, but it didn't matter. They were serving a new purpose. The blood-stained bandages on his wrists were still itchy and the eye-liner that he had stolen from one of the older girl's room made his eyes watered. That was fine with him. All the better if he looked like a druggie or something else horrible. His usually perfect white hair had been mused up with some hair cement into something that resembled an emo kid and his black nails finished up the horrid get-up.

Seeing all of the horrified stares, Near wanted to die of embarrassment. Was staying with anyone worth this kind of humiliation? Going around the corner and seeing the new parents talking with Roger, Near steeled his resolve. Matt was worth this and so much more.

"Well?" he sneered as he drew closer. "Let's get the hell out of here already." Ugh, he was going to have to wash his own mouth out with soap after this.

Roger did a double take and let his own mouth drop in horror. The parents shared a look before staring accusingly at Roger.

"N-nate, what in the bloody hell are you wearing?"

"Ah, shaddup, you old goat." Near leaned against the wall and stuck out his tongue childishly. Death was sounding very good right now. "Now, can we go already?"

"What's going on?" the man demanded. "Why are you dressed up like _that_?"

"You're pretty fucking dumb, aren't you. Shit, I just did it to get adopted, duh." Now to add some sarcasm. "Don't you still fucking _love _me, Mom, Dad?"

The woman really looked like she was going to faint. Roger just looked livid. "Watch your tongue, Nate! Tell me what's really going on this-"

"Near?" It was Matt's panicked voice, and the small boy felt a twinge in his chest. Matt was going to see him all ugly like this. "What's wrong? Linda said-" the words died on his lips as he screeched to a halt in front of the disturbed adults and the decidedly uncharacteristic genius.

'_I'm sorry, please forgive me!' _Near cried in his mind as he put on a coy smile. "Linda said what?"

Near felt himself blush as Matt's mouth struggled to form words and as his goggle-covered eyes went straight to his tightly covered crotch. Not even thinking of anything but hiding his blush, Near lunged towards the bamboozled boy and gave him an awkward wet kiss.

The woman screamed in disgust and the man grabbed the front of Roger's coat demanding an explanation. Even as the two parents began to yell at the confused and helpless Roger, no one really noticed as Matt pushed into that kiss deepening it. He clenched his gamer fingers into the spiked hair at the back and proceeded to take Near's breath away.

/_/_/_/

"This is a mess," Roger groaned before glaring at the two boys across the desk from him. "If Quillsh was here, he'd throw an absolute fit! "

Near shrugged, more than eager to get out of his uncomfortable attire. "I'm perfectly willing to accept any punishment that you would deem as appropriate."

Matt glanced over at the pale boy worriedly.

"It's not that," Roger sighed. "Just…why? What possessed you to do something like that?"

"I didn't want to leave," Near replied honestly. "I didn't want to go with them."

"Look, I realize that you don't like change, but getting parents and having a good life would be good for you. You have a lot of potential, Nate, and that couple was perfect for you."

"No." Near's gray eyes were firm. "This place is my home now, and my family is right here."

Matt's eyes teared up and he looked down at his hands so that Roger wouldn't notice.

The older man sighed and shook his head. "Fine, if that's how you feel. Just tell me next time. There's no need to go to such ridiculous lengths to make parents dislike you. Kissing Matt was just too much. Matt, I'm sorry that you had to go through that."

"It's okay," he forced out as he blushed just remembering it.

"Now, both of you go to your rooms. The rest of the kids are in an uproar and I think that a night without seeing you two will settle them down. I'll have supper brought up to your rooms."

"That's okay," Near piped up before casting a meaningful glance at Matt. "I'm not hungry."

"Me neither," Matt added.

Roger just shook his head. "If you two say so." With that, they were dismissed.

"You didn't have to stay with me," Matt whispered as he pulled the sheets over them more tightly.

Near shook his head as he pulled himself closer to the warmth of Matt. He loved the comforting smells and the way that they fit together so perfectly. "Matt, I never want to go away." It was embarrassing to say, but it was the truth. He never wanted to be apart.

"Do you mean that?" the brunette asked with watered eyes. "You won't leave me?"

"Never, I'll never leave you."

Matt pulled him into a tight hug, planting kisses on top of his styled hair. "I'll never leave you, either. Okay? We'll live together forever, and we'll raise up Furby, and maybe we'll even adopt a real kid."

Near wrapped his arms around the other boy and nodded. "Yeah, we can do that."

* * *

**Author's Notes: Hmmm, this is interesting. FF won't let me use my normal breaks. How irritating! It looks lame with their breaks...Oh well, I'll change all of the chapter later. I'm too lazy right now.**

**EDIT: I changed my breaks. Let's see how long these last.  
**

**Anyways, just a few notes. First, sorry for such a late update, but I hope that the lemony goodness was a good enough gift to you guys. Second, the capoeira masters' names are actually plays on real capoeira masters' names. The real names are Master Jelon Vieira and Master Bimba. Finally, the school Mello's going to is real. It's called Bridge House School. You can look it up on wikipedia.  
**


	7. Act seven: Stumbling

"It's useless."

Frustration lit up wizened eyes and Mr. Wammy's mouth turned down unhappily. "What do you mean, it's useless?"

The detective looked up at his friend and shook his head. "We can continue to ask for information, but we need to close this case as a dead end. It's not fair to continue using our resources for this case when there are plenty of other children who are in need of our help. Sorry, Quillsh, but Mihael has vanished. You'll never see him again."

Clenching his fists, Quillsh knew that his friend was right. The odds of him finding Mello after so long were highly unlikely. If L had managed to keep them hidden for this long, it was foolish to think that they would be caught any time soon. Still, he didn't want to give up.

"It's not Mihael," he mumbled as he turned to face the window. A storm was brewing outside, the wind whipping tree branches around mercilessly. "It's L. That bastard got a one-up on me, and that's unforgivable."

"Both of those brothers are crazy," the detective sighed. "There have still not been any sightings of Beyond either, and yet the murders in Los Angeles have gotten more grisly. Still, no one's found even a hair to link him to the murders. Both of them are just too smart."

"It's not just them. That Light Yagami has been helping them, I just know it."

"Yeah, but he's untouchable. Not only is his father highly respected, but that lawyer he's got is amazing."

Shaking his head, Quillsh placed his hands against the cool glass. Why had it turned out like this? What happened to the two boys he had raised?

_////_

"_Quillsh, Beyond's crying again," L whimpered. His eyes were red-rimmed and the sleepless bags under them were deepening. "I c-can't make it stop."_

_He got up and took the boy's bony hand. "It's okay, L. I'll help."_

_The younger boy's screams could be heard down the halls and some of the other orphans were peeking out from their doors, shooting L dirty looks as if it were his fault. L shook as he heard the agonized sounds, clenching his eyes shut as if he too could feel the pain. _

"_Why won't he stop?" L pleaded, looking up into the older man's eyes. _

"_Because he was raped," he responded coldly. "This is what happens when a person loses his mind. He was too weak and broke. Are you going to break?"_

_Gulping, L shook his head. His eyes widened as he saw a nurse rushing to the room with a syringe. "Oh, Mr. Wammy, thank goodness. Will you hold the boy down?"_

"_Of course. L, stand here." Letting go of the child's hand, he opened the door to see the younger of the boys thrashing on the floor, self-inflicted wounds all over his face and arms. His hands were bloody from beating the floor and his eyes fluttering as if his mind was stuck on replay, the rape repeating itself over and over in a continuous loop. Quillsh grabbed the hysterical boy and shoved him onto the bed._

"_Noooo!" he wailed scratching at the older man's hands. "Don't touch me again, don't do it again!"_

"_Nurse, please sedate him."_

_Rushing to his side, the nurse shoved the syringe carelessly into the boy's arm, drawing blood as he kept squirming around. L was sobbing now, helplessly watching. It only took a few seconds for the drugs to start their calming effects. In under a minute, Beyond was unconscious on the bed with tears still spilling from his eyes. _

"_It's all my fault," L sobbed, running over to his brother and kneeling by the bed. "I-it's all my fault!"_

_Quillsh looked down at the trembling boy. "Of course not, L. If you had come out of hiding, what would that have accomplished? You would have been raped as well, and would that have fixed anything? You would be a babbling fool like him. Is that what you want?"_

_Teary eyes looked up miserably. "N-no."_

"_That's right. You're going to be the stronger one. You will learn how to be a Someone."_

_L glanced at his brother and took his hand delicately. "I can f-fix him, Quillsh."_

_Mr. Wammy shook his head. He had seen mentally unstable people before and there would be no fixing this boy. Beyond was too far gone for any kind of help. He would be put on medication to see if it could manage the insanity, but if that didn't work he was going to be shipped off to a mental institution. That was the reality and he felt that it would be a lie to tell L anything differently. "L, he's lost. There will be no fixing him. All we can do is to try to keep him calm, that's all."_

_He could see the little boy's heart breaking; he could see those eyes dimming in suffering. But if he were any less honest, the child would grow weak and he couldn't have that. The children in his orphanage would not be allowed to be weak. L was smart, far smarter than anyone else he had ever known, so he would push him even harder. Quillsh would make him fulfill his potential._

"_Now, come. Let's get some rest." Hearts were overrated anyone. All one needed was an active mind._

_////_

L was supposed to be his shining star, the perfect one out of all the children. When did he too break completely? How did he become so weak? It was unforgivable. Quillsh could not live with himself knowing that he had actually failed. It was inconceivable and everyday that L wasn't behind bars was like rubbing salt in the wound.

"I understand, old friend. I won't ask for your help anymore, but I refuse to give up. I refuse to allow such a failure of a person to continue wandering the earth violating an innocent youth."

The detective sighed and shook his head. He knew of Quillsh's stubbornness and grudges. "Very well. Good luck."

/_/_/_/

All the windows were thrown open and the fans were blowing air around the entire house in an attempt to cool the place down. Sadly, it didn't have any effect on the bedroom as Mello moaned obscenely and the bed shook against the wall. The paint on the wall was completely worn out where the headrest of the bed had constantly banged against it during the crazy couplings that would happen at least several times a day.

Mello's hands clenched the headrest as he was taken behind, L's firm hands holding his hips tightly and that thick filling member pounding into his body. His veins were racing with fire as he thrusted back into each movement, trying to take as much as he could. Drops of L's sweat was sprinkling across his back and his perfectly cut hair was tickling his neck even as he arched his back in pleasure. "Ohhhhh! Yesss, ngh, do it again!"

L chuckled as he willingly obliged by teasing his lover's sweet spot. It always left his extremely vocal Mello screaming for more. Pushing the miniskirt higher up, he ran his hands across the slick thighs before parting the cheeks for deeper penetration. Mello squealed as his prostate was hit dead on and L smiled even wider as he pressed faint kisses along the exposed back. Personally, he preferred to listen to the wonderful sounds that the teen would produce than making any noises himself. Besides, Mello didn't mind listening to himself. Instead, he reached forward and began jerking the boy's throbbing cock hastily. Slapping the pillow next to his face repeatedly, Mello wailed loudly as he released his seed all over the sheets. Digging his nails into the sweaty flesh, L hissed as he allowed himself the same.

Pulling out with a squelch, L fell back contentedly in a seated position behind the trembling boy. Mello panted as he shakily turned around and placed his lips against the softened member. Grinning up cheekily, he slurped up the hot flesh into his wicked mouth and proceeded to lick off every trace of semen. With that completed, he sighed happily and curled up against the L.

"Mmm, that was good," L whispered hotly into the blonde's ear.

Lifting up a fishnet-covered leg, Mello laughed. "Heh, you really do like me in this crazy get-up. The stilettos were a nice touch."

"Oh, you love it," L teased, holding the boy closer to his chest.

"Hey, you're the pervert here, and don't forget it." Getting more comfortable, Mello glanced at the clock and then huffed. "It's almost three in the morning, L. I've got school tomorrow!"

"Just skip," L pouted, resting his chin on the boy's shoulder. "We can stay here all day. I'll even let you tie me up if you want."

The past year and a half had been like a dream and L couldn't have been happier. Gone were the days were Mello was too scared to engage in sex without L being restrained, gone were the days of his uncontrollable lust, and gone were the days of their fear. South Africa had become the best home to them, a place that they could live and love in peace.

"Hey, I want something really good for my seventeenth birthday," Mello demanded haughtily as he turned around in the sweaty arms to get a better look at his older lover. "Something grand and awesome, just like me."

"Seventeen already?" L murmured giving Mello a kiss on the forehead. "I'll think up of something."

"It's got to be good, okay?"

"Fine, fine. You're such a spoiled brat, you know that?"

"You made me."

With a final kiss, the two righted themselves on the bed and snuggled under the covers happily. Salty air clung to their slick bodies leaving an uncomfortable feeling, but being in each others' arms washed it away for a few good hours of sleep.

/_/_/_/

At first, it was barely noticeable. Just a glance here, a dry mouth there. Sometimes he would be too "tired" for sex, but he knew the truth. The horrible, inevitable truth. Glancing at the young children playing in front of the school building, L felt a stirring in his groin. Soft tender flesh flashing before a shirt would once again cover the gently curved stomach. Small bare feet jumping on the dirt, releasing small puffs of dust. Gulping hard, L looked down at his erect member.

'_This isn't real,' _he told himself, shaking his head. _'I'm not getting hard over someone other than Mello. I'm not, I'm not…'_

Looking back up, he felt his stomach clench in a familiar want as a young boy fell to the ground laughing, his friend tickling him mercilessly, and unconsciously giving the older man a great view of his round rear end. It was plump and waving around so shamelessly.

"Hey, stranger."

L nearly jumped out of his skin as Mello's voice startled him. Shooting a glance at the passenger window, he gave a shaky smile to the stunning blond. Every day he was becoming more and more aware of how un-childish Mello was becoming. His voice had deepened into something much more velvety and smooth; his limbs had lengthened and grown leaner with steely muscles thanks to his constant surfing and capoeira. What had once been a curvaceous behind was now shapely buns of steel and the rounded belly had submitted to a chiseled six-pack. There was hardly an ounce of fat on his body, leaving him firm and uncomfortable to hold in bed. And those _eyes_, once full of childish mirth were now sharp and dangerous, a seductive gleam in them.

"M-mello," he chuckled in greeting.

"Looking for a date?" the teen teased before opening the door and throwing his bag in the back. "Can we go for some ice cream today? It's pretty hot."

"Sure, that's fine with me." Starting the car, L missed Mello's unhappy glare at the playing children. "Is there a particular shop that you want to go to?"

"Nope. You can choose."

Choosing an ice cream stand on the beach near their home, L sat on the comfortable sand as Mello ordered their treats. He tried to think back to when the strange feelings had started, but he couldn't pinpoint an exact date. It was as if his condition had progressing naturally. For the older Mello had gotten, the stronger his attraction to other boys grew. Swallowing back the lump in his throat, L felt disgusted with himself. What had he expected? He was a pedophile, one who took sexual pleasure in young boys, not older boys. And Mello was most definitely an older boy.

He wanted to laugh humorlessly at the predicament he found himself in. Hadn't he sacrificed everything to snatch this boy away and to live with him? Didn't he tell Light that Mello was special and that no one else would do? And now? He was finding it harder every day to hide his withering feelings. Being a healthy teenager, Mello was extremely horny and was eager to engage in any kind of sex at any opportune moment. With that smiling face, it was so difficult to deny him and L had turned to other kinds of fetishes in desperation. Cross-dressing, role-playing, harder bondage, even pushing for a little sadist-masochist play, nothing was beyond him at this point.

But again, was any of this really a surprise? It had been easy to lie to himself while Mello was still young and beautiful, but now it was a struggle. Besides, wouldn't Mello soon tire of him? Glancing at the ice cream stand, his frown deepened as he watched the young man there give Mello a starry-eyed and lusty look. There were much younger men who were obviously interested in the blond, so wouldn't Mello leave him soon enough? Wouldn't it be easier to let him go now and give him a push towards other men? A dull pain throbbed in his chest and he pulled his eyes away from the scene of Mello laughing openly with the strange man and instead focused on the young siblings focused on building their sand castle.

Glancing over his shoulder as he laughed along with the idiot serving him ice cream, Mello was disappointed to see that L wasn't even looking at him. Instead, his eyes were firmly glued to a young boy and girl playing with the sand. What happened to the days that L couldn't stand to look away from him? When L's dark eyes would light up happily if he smiled? What happened to the pet name of "love" or even the unnecessary yet tender touches? In his heart, Mello knew what was going on, but he didn't want to admit it to himself. He didn't want to accept the fact that he was quickly growing too old to interest L anymore.

He hadn't even noticed when it began, but one day he watched in horror as L got hard over some kids playing in a park that they were walking through. He didn't say anything and neither did L, but it made him feel sick. Stupid, why didn't he think that this day was coming? Why didn't he prepare himself to be thrown to the side and forgotten in lieu of a new plaything? Biting back the bile, he flashed a smile at the smitten man and made his way back to L. In desperation, he had turned to subtly flirting with other men in order to make L jealous, but it didn't even seem to faze the man. Instead, that black-haired idiot seemed to be purposefully ignoring those attempts to make him jealous. He would always just turn away and look for some eye candy.

"I got you chocolate-dipped vanilla, cookies dough, and topped it with a cherry," he purred seductively before suggestively dragging his tongue along the double chocolate delight ice cream that he had gotten for himself.

"Thanks," L said before turning his attention to his own ice cream and completely ignoring Mello.

Trying to swallow back the sharp pain he was feeling, he slumped unhappily besides the older man and slowly worked through his treat. It was a beautiful day, with the wind blowing happily and the sun sparkling even as it slipped further down the horizon. The ocean was keeping its noise down to a dull roar and people were enjoying themselves. Why was he the only one miserable?

'_Is he…going to leave me?'_ The thought alone was enough to make his eyes water. _'Damn it, I'm such an idiot. I should have known, I should have!' _Berating himself didn't make the pain dull. It only stung more painfully.

/_/_/_/

"What do you want to do tonight?" Mello asked excitedly as he moved to their shared closet in nothing but a towel. Water clung to his well-shaped frame even as he patted his hair with another towel. Glancing up from his book L grimaced as he looked at the ripped muscles along the blonde's back. He could see muscles tensing and untensing clearly and it was very much a turn-off.

"Actually, I'm a bit tired. Let's just go to bed, okay?"

Swallowing down his disappointment, Mello flashed L an encouraging smile. The last thing he wanted to do was give L another reason to get rid of him. "That's fine. Today was…long." It wasn't like L had work to do or even exercised. There was no reason that he should be tired and yet there he was, rolling to his side under the covers, his back towards the center of the bed.

Slipping off his towel, Mello looked down at his teenage body. What was so wrong with it? What made it so disgusting? Tears welled in his eyes as he grabbed a pair of bikini briefs to slip on. Now that his body was larger, he could more easily take in L's enormous girth. He could reach areas better and he could even do a 69 comfortably. His own member had grown and was nothing short of beautiful. Was it too large for L's liking? Was his body too loose from their frequent couplings? Was he too tall and appeared dominating?

With a sigh, Mello walked to the bed as he wiped his eyes. He didn't want L to question him about crying, but everyday it was getting harder to pretend not to notice the lack of interest. And each time they did have sex, anxiety would fill him to the brim. Did L think of other little boys when they had sex? Was he just a hot body to use while fantasizing about a ten-year-old? Feeling the insecurity bubbling up, he wrapped his arms around L's back and pulled himself as close as physically possible.

"I love you," he murmured unhappily against the still pale flesh.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

Mello clenched his eyes shut. "No."

"Okay, then. Would you mind letting go? It's a bit humid today and you're sticky."

It was yet another blow to his bleeding heart. Would L soon forbid him from even sharing the same room? The stubborn part of him reared its ugly head and he only squeezed L more tightly. "No, I'm not letting go. Suck it up."

Sighing, L patted the boy's clenched hands before forcing himself to drift to sleep.

/_/_/_/

There was a sad melody playing. One full of tears and heartache. Rolling to his side, L noticed that Mello was not in bed. Blinking sleepily, he tried to remember his dream. There was a beautiful angel making love with him, dragging him into the blinding whiteness of relief. Sadly, he couldn't bring that face into his mind. He had been an attractive boy, certainly, but L couldn't remember what he even looked like. Scratching his head, L slipped out of the bed and padded his way to the living room.

Sitting in the middle of the room before a still-shiny grand piano, Mello was allowing his fingers to dance across the keys, stroking them like a treasured lover, drawing the music out of the instrument instead of beating it out. His eyes were closed as he continued to play the sorrowful tune. A tear trailed down his cheek slowly, the only one of its kind.

Guilt swelled in L's chest as he looked at his cherub. No, Mello was no longer a playful baby angel, but he was quickly turning into a Seraphim. The ones closest to God. Silently, he made his way around the large instrument and behind the teenager. His bony fingers that still held scars from the damage that had been done in Cuba firmly rested against Mello's neck. However, Mello didn't betray any surprise, and continued to play his melody. The fingers trailed down the neck to the exposed chest, pushing down the unbuttoned dress shirt that he had slipped on. Nothing but those tight underwear covered his modesty.

It was strange how in his half-asleep state he felt as if he were seeing clearly for the first time. Mello was shining in the morning light as if he were a divine creature, casted down from the heavens for the sin of being even more beautiful than God, more beautiful than all the good creations. The single tear quivered on his chin like a drop of glass that was threatening to shatter under the weight of air. Tanned skin that was still as soft as a baby's, delicately encasing the firm unmoving muscles beneath. Lips of honey that could kiss away any pain, any discomfort.

He found himself inhaling that scent as his own fingers played an undertone to that sad music. There was a hint of pleasure, of a happiness that would not disappear. The pleasure would not lose to the sadness, to the desperation of loneliness. He would not lose. Suddenly, there was only a different kind of music. The music of vocal chords stretching in lust and want, of hands whispering across the keys of a warm body, of hearts thumping frantically together.

Against the piano, L took Mello far more softly than ever, loving him like never before. Never opening his eyes, he allowed his hands to wipe away the tears, both his and Mello's.

/_/_/_/

Walking along the edge of their patio, Mello stared at his feet. Today was his seventeenth birthday, and yet it felt more like a death sentence was hanging over his head. L had never forgotten his birthday and had always lavished gifts on him, but today…today, L had not so much as even offer a happy-birthday kiss. He had dropped Mello off at school and disappeared for hours. L hadn't even been in his usual "hiding" spot today. No, Mello didn't even have the heart to fool himself into thinking that L was out buying a present for him. He was the last thing in L's mind these days.

"Come on, Mihael, get a grip," he ordered himself. "Just because he hasn't done anything yet, doesn't mean that he's completely forgotten about today. Maybe he's just building the suspense? Hell, who do I think I'm kidding?"

Glancing back at the house, Mello decided that he needed to find L and that he was going to force the man to take him out to dinner. It was the least L could do for him. Like a cat, he slipped through the door and into the house, his feet not even pattering on the hardwood floor. Aquamarine eyes noted that the man wasn't in the living room, so his feet were directed to the bedroom. Was he taking a nap?

As he approached their bedroom door, a distinct sound caught Mello's attention. Even the constant creaking of their ceiling fan wasn't loud enough to cover the delicate moans or the wet sounds of a hand racing over a lubed cock. Disbelievingly, Mello slowly went to his knees, refusing to believe what he was hearing. Still, there it was. The hissing of a quick inhalation, a low long groan of pleasure, and a hand moving more quickly.

'_L's…jerking off? It's been fucking years since he's had to do that! I fucking give him a blow job anytime he's hard, so why-"_

"Mnn, Cajun…"

Cajun, the next door neighbors' young son. Covering his mouth with his hand, Mello couldn't stop the tears if he wanted to. Of course, why would L want Mello sucking him off only to moan some other child's name? That's why he insisted that Mello go tanning on their patio, why he disappeared for several hours, why he forgot a seventeen-year-old's birthday. The sounds got a little louder as L reached his climax. It wasn't Mello's name on his lips as he submitted to the lust and suddenly Mello found it too difficult to breathe. Running out of the house, he raced down the street, gasping for breath, blindly following the path to the beach. It was a mile away and he ran the entire length desperately. He needed air, why wasn't he getting enough air. Gasping, he fell against a large weathered rock that overlooked the soothing beach. Damn it, why were the people there laughing and splashing each other with water? Why were children screaming in joy and throwing sand balls at one another? Why was the sky a happy orange as the sun was setting?

Throwing a punch at the solid rock, Mello let out a pained wail, before allowing the sobs to go free. Why oh why couldn't he stay eternally young like Ganymede? The beautiful young Trojan that had been whisked away by the lustful Zeus and given the gift of eternal youth, why couldn't he have _that_! Why couldn't L continue wanting him? He had left everything for L, even sweet Mattie! He had given away his virginity, his innocence to that ungrateful bastard, he had forgiven him for a rape!

'_Didn't I promise myself that I would never allow myself to be used again? What else have I been doing all these years? Nothing but being used.'_

And yet, he hated himself the most for still wanting L, yearning for his touch. But what could he do? The questions spun around his mind like race cars but even his brilliant mind could not come up with a good answer. If L's tastes rested elsewhere, there was nothing that he could do about that.

/_/_/_/

Biting his thumbnail, L rocked on the balls of his feet as he waited for Mello to show up. All he had suggested was for the boy to go out tanning and now he had disappeared. What a stupid idea! Frowning, he looked down at his hand in accusation. What had possessed him and given him the "bright" idea that he could jerk off to the fantasies running through his mind while leaving Mello alone outside? Worse than thinking that Mello had just wandered off somewhere, what if the police had taken the teen into custody? What if Quillsh had finally caught up to them and there were agents surrounding the house, ready to take him in? Leaping out of his chair, he glanced out the window to see nothing but the balmy breeze blowing past calmly. Where was Mello?

"Calm down," L chided himself as he walked back to his seat. "There's no reason for them to have found us. No, Mello probably just bumped into a friend and they're hanging out. Alone. Hanging out without supervision."

Strangely enough, his stomach tightened uncomfortably at the thought of Mello alone with some other guy. What if his "friend" was actually an admirer who wanted to get into those tight pants? What if they weren't hanging out, but rather _making out_? Anger began to brew as he tried to push those thoughts away. It would do no good to get all worked up over such a fact. Soon enough, Mello would be leaving him for someone younger; that was an inevitable outcome. There was no way that he would remain attracted to someone ten years older than he was. Besides, who ever said that he was attracted to L in the first place? He had been seduced and tricked into this lifestyle. Who said that he wasn't attracted to the wild lifestyle and not to the man promising it?

The door clicked open, and before he knew it, L was on his feet. Mello stepped into the house, covered in sand and looking exhausted. Without thinking, he pulled the boy into his arms and held him in a tight hug. Mello didn't smell of another man or of sex at all. He just smelt of seaweed and sand.

"Are you okay?" he asked in relief.

Mello was surprised by the overly caring affection that L was showing him all of a sudden. Only a few hours ago he didn't care what the hell Mello was doing, but now? Now, he didn't even want to let the boy go. "I'm…fine," he mumbled, wrapping his arms around the taller man's waist. If he hadn't just cried his heart out to the ocean, L's concern would have brought tears of happiness to his eyes.

"Mmm, I'm glad you're back," L whispered against his neck, making Mello shudder in delight.

"Glad enough to take this to the bed?" the blond teen purred with his best come-hither smirk.

Happy that Mello was off the streets and into his arms, L nodded. "Yes, let's finish this in there."

Sweeping the boy off his feet, L carried him to the bedroom.

/_/_/_/

"I want to move," Mello demanded as he lazily drew circles on L's sweaty chest with his forefinger.

Looking down in surprise, L tilted his head. "Why?" Hadn't this place become home for them?

"I'm bored," Mello lied easily. "You had promised to take me to see the world, and yet we've not even properly explored Europe."

"But…you lived in England for a while, didn't you? And wasn't your family European?"

"It's not like I actually got to explore it, L," Mello huffed. I want to see Paris, eat Swiss chocolate, and drink Russian vodka, all the works."

"You're too young for alcohol," L scolded.

"Pshh, you won't care. Right?"

Chuckling, L brushed back the boy's sweaty bangs. "No, I don't mind."

"Let's go tomorrow, then."

"What about school and all your friends?"

Closing his eyes, Mello lifted his head to drag his tongue across L's perked nipple. The sea green eyes peeked open. "Tomorrow. I want to leave."

"…Okay, we'll leave tomorrow."

/_/_/_/

"So, whaddaya think?" Matt asked excitedly as Near read over the printed-out pamphlets.

"Amsterdam?" he mumbled as his eyes scanned across the words, committing them all to memory.

"Yeah! It's like paradise for gay couples," Matt replied as he scooted closer to the younger boy. "We can even get married there."

Near blushed before peeking up at the smiling brunette. "You'd want to marry me?"

"Of course," Matt huffed as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "How can we raise kids if we're not married? What kind of an example would that be?"

The pale boy just chuckled. "What kind of an example would homosexual parents be?"

"A good example."

Such a quick and honest reply surprised Near, but as he examined Matt's face, he felt the warmth coiling up in his stomach. "You really mean it?" he whispered.

"Absolutely." Always cheerful blue eyes sparkled with feeling which only deepened Near's blush.

"O-okay. Let's live in Amsterdam when we get out of here."

Pressing a kiss to his boyfriend's cheek, Matt sprawled across the boy's curled up legs. "As soon as I turn eighteen, we can move there. You'll only be sixteen, but you're mature enough that we can convince Roger to let you go and recognize you as an adult. He won't suspect a thing."

"As long as you don't do anything stupid," Near chided, this time making the brunette blush.

"Hey, I couldn't _not _kiss your pouty little mouth with you looking all sad and bothered."

"I didn't look sad and bothered."

"Yes you did. I can see right through you masks Mr. I-love-toys-more-than-my-boyfriend."

Tracing his fingers along the indentations that Matt's goggles always left, Near smiled softly. Matt's freckles were always so cute! "Fine, Mr. Must-have-Gameboy-or-I'll-die."

"Ouch, that was a cheap shot!"

"And I do not love my toys more than I love you."

"Yes you- wait, did you just say that you love me?" Slapping his hand over his mouth in a delayed reaction, Near tried to hide his face as it burned in embarrassment. He hadn't meant to let such heavy words slip out. "Did you say it?" Matt whispered, leaning closer to the only one who made his heart beat out of synch.

Not being able to speak without stuttering like an idiot, Near managed to nod in reply. What he didn't expect was to be pushed back against the wall and for his lips to be assaulted by his one and only. It was disgustingly cliché, but he couldn't help it. Only Matt's lips fit so perfectly against his own, only Matt's hands were large enough to protect him and yet soft enough to cling to his hands. They were the proverbial puzzle, fitting together like peanut butter and jelly.

"I love you too," Matt breathed before delving back into the tender lips and drawing out helpless mewling that set his body afire. But he could control himself and he would. At that moment, he swore that he would do right by his boyfriend and would keep Near's chastity until marriage.

"I guess…we're fiancées…now," Near panted between kisses, his trembling hands holding onto Matt's thin shoulders.

"I'll…get you…you a…ring…when I, mmnn…have money."

Grinning in a way that no one but Matt had ever seen, Near pressed deeper into the kiss. No more words would be needed between them.

/_/_/_/

It had taken three months for the distracted adult to finally realize that he had completely forgotten Mello's birthday. The realization came about as the two of them were walking along the slush covered sidewalks looking for some Valentine's Day sweets. Mello was staring through the window of an extravagant pastry shop, leaning down to get a better view of what appeared to be a chocolate mountain.

'_Wow, that's a lot of chocolate. I wonder if he wants his next birthday cake—birthday? Cake? Oh mother of all things holy!'_

L's eyes widened in shock. Why hadn't Mello said anything? He had asked for something large and grand and yet, he received nothing. The teen should have been pissed! Mello should have rubbed it in his face for the whole rest of the year! Even worse, how had he managed to forget such an important day? But what could he do now? It's not like he could just say, "Oops, my bad. I'll buy a cake now and we'll just celebrate it today." Such a thing wouldn't work in a hundred years much less on this day.

Valentine's Day, the commercialized day for lovers. Allowing his eyes to trace over the boy's body, L wondered if they could still be called such an intimate thing. Ever since moving to Paris, Mello had begun to enter into the clubbing scene. The boy knew how much it worried him, that showing off his fake ID so much would bring about suspicion, or the quality of people that he would undoubtedly find in those dark strobe-lighted rooms. Mello would come back during the early hours of the morning and walk straight into their bedroom, never sparing a glance at the anxious adult seated in the living room.

No longer was Mello lonely for companions his age. Instead, he seemed perfectly content with his double life. Distracted sex on both their parts during the day and then a full night of dancing. The desire to follow the teen and stalk him for his own protection was strong in L, but he kept reminding himself that Mello was growing up and had the right to go where he wanted. It's not like he was a delicate helpless child anymore. His capoeira skills were sufficient to send any thug to the hospital, but it still made L uncomfortable.

"I want this," Mello ordered, pointing past the glass separator at a chocolate mousse cake with strawberry filling and topped with a mixture of white and dark chocolate.

"Alright."

Stepping into the sweet warmth of the pastry shop, L tried to shake off the heavy feelings that seemed to have settled on his shoulders. The owner greeted them, his faithfully loyal customers, with a wave and smile and L ordered the expensive treat.

"Is this for your wife?" the mustached man asked in fluent French.

L glanced at Mello who was already distracted by a tray of chocolate mini-cakes and then turned to the man. "Yes. She loves chocolate." His own French was nothing to shake a stick at.

"Ah, very good! You really must bring her in some time."

"Of course. I'm sure that you'd recognize her." Without bothering to expound any further, L paid for the cake as well as a handful of the mini-cakes that Mello had found so fascinating.

Having their treats in hand, the two of them began to slowly make their way back to the cramped apartment. The dirty slush seeped through L's shoes, making his bare toes cold and uncomfortable. He wrinkled his nose in displeasure.

"You really should buy boots," Mello suggested as he stuck his hands further into his fur trimmed coat. "And putting your shoes on the right way might work out too."

"Hmmm, astute observation," L teased, forcing a smile on his cold lips.

"I never understand your relationship with feet," Mello sighed, his own forced smile painted prettily on his face. "It's like a fetish or something."

"That it is, Mello. Feet are meant to be free, unrestrained. They are to be seen by everyone and properly adored."

The choked laughter came next as Mello shook his head. "They're just feet."

"Ah, yes, but don't you notice how many cultures have the sign of reverence as one bowing towards the feet? Feet move you places, hold all your weight, and can even protect you. They do so much, and more than anything else on your body deserve adoration."

"I don't know," the blond countered as he hopped over a puddle, "the hands do an awful lot, don't you think?"

"Except for extreme cases, the hands will never bear your body, holding up the full weight faithfully until you pass from this earth. You are grounded because of your feet; you can stand tall because of them. I simply appreciate all their hard work and give them the adoration due to them."

After a moment of silence, Mello bumped L's shoulder playfully. "We have the weirdest conversations, don't we?"

"Indeed." Dark eyes glanced at the boy, wondering if now was the right moment to say something about the missed birthday. He could apologize, but what would that accomplish? Nothing.

"Michael!" a voice called out from behind them.

Looking back, Mello allowed his smile to widen. "Anton! What are you doing out so early?"

L raised an eyebrow as he observed the young Frenchman approaching the blond. He had a metrosexual look going on, with his scarf in wrapped in that artisan way and with the addition of a well trimmed goatee. He was not impressed.

"I could ask the same of you! Hahaha! Hey, are you coming to the club with us? We're going to have free drinks all night long!"

The way that the younger man was speaking in all exclamations was grinding on L's nerves. How could Mello manage to be on such good terms with such an annoying person? He was so…ridiculous!

Mello glanced over at L, and found himself a little disappointed as the older man looked away as if trying not to intrude on their business. He didn't even look the slightest bit jealous. "Well, I wasn't planning on it. You know that I don't drink."

"Ohhh, we can pop that cherry real quick!"

L was gritting his teeth at this point, trying his hardest to seem disinterested in the conversation that was happening. It was Mello's business if he wanted to waste his night away with such a loser and he had no right to butt in. But did that freak have to use such vulgar terms?

"I, uh…" Mello tried to see L's expression before giving a yes or no answer.

Anton noticed his fellow party-goer's distraction and smiled naughtily. He had known for a while that there was a special someone on Mello's mind and based on the teen's reactions he was betting that it was this strange hunched creature. Personally, he found the owl-eyed person a little unsettling, but he was not one to judge other's sense of taste. "Why don't you invite your _friend _here to come with us?"

L snorted derisively at the suggestion, and Mello tried to hide his blush beneath his fur-lined collar. "Please, don't let me get in the way of your fun," L replied tightly, getting further irritated with the man for no reason.

Mello was just shocked that Anton had seemed to pick up on his longing vibes. That wouldn't lead to anything good if he found out that they were ten years apart in age. "Hahaha! Louis here is not a fan of the clubbing scene. He's more into the refined operas and such. Thank you for the invitation, though, and I might see you later on tonight."

"Okay, okay," Anton replied, putting his hands up in defeat. "But if he ever changes his mind, Louis is always welcomed to join us."

With that, they parted ways. L glanced once more at the annoying man and then glared at Mello. "_That's _what you've been hanging out with lately?"

Bristling at the tone, Mello instinctively defended himself. "He's a nice guy, L! He's the one who's been taking me to all the classier clubs and we always have fun." Secretly, the blond was starting to feel elated. Was L finally starting to get jealous?

The bitterness in his own words was surprising, but L couldn't help it. That thing was what Mello was leaving him all alone at night for? It was appalling. Still, he had to bite his tongue. Again, Mello was seventeen years old and surely mature enough to pick his own companions. "…You're right. I apologize." The unimpressed mask was back up and Mello's face fell in disappointment.

The rest of the night seemed to reflect their unhappy mood. The cake's sweetness tasted bitter in L's mouth as he imagined what kind of things Mello really did with that Anton at the clubs and Mello could hardly enjoy the treat when L was being so standoffish. Leaning closer to the man, Mello pressed a chocolate-smeared kiss to the ivory neck, hoping to heat things up. Distracted with his negative thoughts, L stood up and walked towards the patio to cool off. Like a mantra, he repeated to himself that Mello had the right to hang out with anyone he wanted. Besides, he would soon find a new lover among his peers, and L needed to help that along. He couldn't continue hording the boy.

By the time he finally walked back into the living room, Mello was gone, his half-eaten slice of cake left on the coffee table.

/_/_/_/

Germany, another one of Mello's suggestions. Munich, a world-renown party city. Walking around the miserable little apartment that they had managed, L couldn't help the heavy feeling that was nestled in his chest. It hadn't been long after his run in with Anton before Mello was already itching to move somewhere else. The night before they left, he came back slightly buzzed from alcohol. L couldn't believe it. Every day, he grew more and more concerned for the boy, but he couldn't force himself to stop Mello.

No one held back the fiery child as he ran away with an adult ten years older than he was, so what right did he have to hold Mello back from anything? He was the one who had invited Mello to travel the world, to do anything and everything that he wanted. It all came with the price of being molested. Molestation, that's all he had ever done to the blond. Stepping out into the terrace, L braced himself against the wrought-iron railing and tried to keep the ache from overwhelming him.

Watching L go outside, Mello fell back onto their shared bed. What else could he do? What else could he do to get L's attention? Coming home in the early morning hours had been enough to get affection from the older man for a while, but that didn't last long. Coming home with the smell of alcohol had rekindled L's interest in him, but for how long this time? How long could he keep the man to himself? Forget traveling the world or living selfishly, he would give it all away if L would just _look _at him again, if he would never look away. Why was that too much?

If coming home buzzed wasn't enough, he would come home as drunk as a dog. And if that didn't work, he would do something else outrageous. As long as it took, he would force L to pay attention to him, again and again, regardless of the pain it caused.

/_/_/_/

The music was beating loudly, pounding through his head. Someone was gyrating against him and he was past the point of caring. Flashing colors were spinning around and around, but he kept going. It wasn't good enough yet. L wouldn't be bothered if he came home like this. Damn it, damn it all! Shoving the body away from himself, Mello stumbled back to the bar. Why did L have to act that way? Why did he wordlessly clean up the messes, buy more painkillers, and watch silently as Mello walked out night after night?

"Why don't you say something?" Mello slurred as the tears stung at his eyes. "Vodka!" he ordered, feeling the compulsion to ruin himself just a bit more.

A barely recognizable face showed up next to him, screaming over the loud Euro-tech. "Hey, you're pretty shit-faced aren't ya!" he joked, slapping Mello on the back.

The blond just sneered and flipped the boy the bird. The nameless face laughed louder and dragged Mello with his drink to a darker corner.

"Mero!" a girl giggled stupidly as she held up her own drink. The guy next to her had his hands shoved down her shirt and she didn't seem to notice at all.

"Wanna try something fun?" the guy who dragged him over asked.

Forcing himself to focus on the scene in front of him, Mello noticed for the first time that there was white powder on the table along with small paper tubes and a razor blade. "Drugs?" he asked stupidly before downing his shot of orange juice mixed with vodka.

"Yeah, man! Come on, don't be a pussy!"

"Pussyyyyyy!" the girl screamed, a little bit of her drink spilling along her front. Her assaulter was now shoving up her skirt and revealing her bare genitals.

Turning away from such a disgusting scene, Mello focused on the drugs. He knew exactly how L felt about drugs. He had heard the stories of what legal drugs did to Beyond Birthday and he knew how L would grow furious just watching commercials for different medications. They were all drugs, all of them. Even the painkillers that he forced himself to buy just so that Mello's hangovers would be tolerable. Grinning, he imagined what L would say if he came home not only drunk but drugged up. Even if it was a firm lecture or chastisement, Mello wanted it; he needed anything that brought those dark eyes back to him.

"Hit me up."

/_/_/_/

"_Mihael, an angel of Light…"_

_Wide turquoise eyes looked up at the man in curiosity. "Wasn't that Lucifer?"_

_The pale man turned to face the child, his eyes pinkish and oddly empty. "Lucifer was _the _Angel of Light. But you, little one, are an angel of Light."_

"_Then who are you?" the young child questioned._

_Skin almost translucent was revealed as the strange man lifted back his sleeve so that he could more easily ruffle the blonde's hair. _

"_God."_

Falling against a brick wall, Mello jerked out of his memories. The bile was rising, and without his permission it spilled out from his lips. It was burning and tasted absolutely horrible. Once that was out of his system, he glanced around with bleary eyes. Almost home, he was almost back home. Back to L.

"_Such a lovely angel," God muttered as he stroked back the golden hair. "God loves you best."_

_The child smiled widely. "I love God best too."_

Stairs were difficult to maneuver, always shifting around and making his footing unstable. It was dangerous, but he kept pushing up. Just a few more flights and he would be in those arms.

_Dressing the boy carefully, the strange colorless man made sure to smile encouragingly. He didn't want to hurt the angel and if he didn't let go no, the angel would fall. Just like Lucifer._

"_We're going to send you down to earth today," he whispered, pressing a loving kiss to the child's cheek._

"_But we're already on earth," Mihael giggled. _

"_We're in the darkness of void," God corrected. "Now, let's send you down carefully. Wouldn't want your wings to be hurt."_

_Glancing at his back, Mihael shrugged and decided that it would be okay to pretend that he had wings. God wouldn't slap him around for playing pretend. God wouldn't tear at his hair or knock his teeth loose like Daddy did. Hopping excitedly after God, Mihael pretended that he was flying around with his pristine wings._

"_When we get to earth, what will we do?" the boy asked, deciding that God must be playing pretend too._

"_You'll live among mortals until I come back from Heaven for you."_

"_Okay!"_

Laughing, he tripped over his feet and fell in front of their door. The ground wouldn't stop moving and he decided that lying on it was a lot safer than walking. Besides, L would come and pick him up soon. Those dark eyes would look down with a disapproving glare and he would love it. Even if it was an angry look, it meant that he would get attention. Maybe they could even have angry sex on the hardwood floor again. Looking up at the hallway light, Mello felt that knot in his throat.

_Police were bustling about. No matter what he said, they didn't want to listen to him. Abduction, child abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, all these words were thrown around over his head. Why couldn't they believe that God had taken him and would come back?_

_God was going to come back and take good care of him. _

_No, the police would explain, God was just a crazy man who had found Mihael starving in an empty house. You see, Mihael's parents abandoned him because they were crazy. God was crazy because he took Mihael in. Then God abandoned him to the police so that they could give him a home. The police were going to abandon him in the care of an orphanage and then the orphanage would abandon him by giving him up to another orphanage._

_So he wouldn't be abandoned anymore. Matt wouldn't be the one to leave him. He would leave first. He would leave with L, the man who promised the world._

"And now you'll leave me!" he screeched as L was dragging him into the house. "You fucking bastard, you'll leave me just like everyone else!"

"Mello, keep your voice down," L hissed before placing his hand over the drunken boy's mouth. Mello bit down hard on the flesh, but L didn't remove it. With a pained grunt, he managed to get the boy into the apartment and then kicked the door shut. "Do you want the neighbors to call the police on us?"

Releasing the bony hand from his lips, Mello laughed heartily, brushing his wet bangs out of his face. He wasn't sure what exactly had wet them, but they were sticking to his face. "Mmm, come on, babe, fuck me," he purred. "I want it nice and hard, like you did when I was thirteen."

L's face darkened, but he didn't lose control. "Mello, you're drunk again. There's throw up on your coat again." Sighing, he looked towards the window as if it could offer freedom. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"I don't want your pity!" Mello screamed, his mood switching over in an instant. "Not your damn pity! Look at me, just look at me!"

Sliding to his knees, L obliged. His empty eyes took in the mess that was a seventeen-year-old, and he felt sick. Regardless of the fact that Mello smelt like booze, sweat, and vomit, L pulled him into his arms, cradling him like the child that he was.

"Okay, shhhhh, just calm down. Shhhhh…"

"D-don't leave," he was sobbing now.

"Mello, I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to leave you." But he knew that Mello was going to leave him.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Okay, there will only be one more chapter after this one. Hope you guys enjoyed a quick update!**


	8. Act eight: Losing

Beautiful blooming flowers. Beyond being red, everything was glistening like a scarlet birthday balloon. Feeling the slick liquid over his hands, the man felt his final twisted laughter bubbling up from deep in his chest. This would be the last time that he gave into those urges.

But he did it. He had actually done it. Lifting up the blood-stained hands, Beyond Birthday let out his twisted cackle. There had never been love between them and yet a small trace of guilt managed to seep in.

"Kya ha ha ha!"

/_/_/_/

This wasn't working. It couldn't. Staring at the sleeping blond, L felt a pain cutting deeper than any sorrow he had ever faced. Worse than watching his brother being raped, worse than when he raped Mello. But what could he do other than watch? It had begun innocent enough. Mello was a child and was curious. It wasn't a shock when he began to experiment with things in the world.

But this was different. This was beyond experimentation. Things were so bad that he didn't even have the courage to sleep anymore. If he wasn't passed out from exhaustion, L was keeping watch as best as he could. Mello would come home in such a terrible state, too high and drunk to string sentences together, yelling and cursing when he could. And then the terrible aftereffects. Hangovers, hours spent bent over the toilet, shaking, insomnia, that desperate need to go back for more. Now it wasn't just snorting, but pills and injections too.

What could he do as he watched Mello fall apart? L kept telling himself that it wasn't any of his business what Mello chose to do with his life, but seeing him choose such a destructive path was eating away at his heart. Nothing could make him feel better these days as he wondered when Mello would overdose. How soon was the day that he would find Mello's cold dead body on the streets or even worse, on the front step? The gruesome thoughts kept him awake at all hours, waiting for the blond to come back home. However, Mello didn't always come back every day. The hours he spent away grew longer and longer until it wasn't uncommon for him to disappear for a week at a time. And all the while, L worried.

Dark sleepless eyes watched the blond crawl out of bed, holding his head in pain. The adorable bob he used to wear had grown out into a shaggier hairstyle, one of laziness. There was a Cloister Black font M tattooed on his ankle, a mark of one of his more drunken nights. Jeans and cargo pants were replaced with tight leather, sneakers and sandals with snake-skin boots.

However, the absolute worst thing that L had to face was the knowledge that others had touched Mello's body. Men, women, their disgusting smell was all over him. L couldn't turn his eyes the other way when he found semen on Mello's clothing or worse, running down his legs. Why did things get so wrong, so out of control?

"I'm out of aspirin!" Mello called from the bathroom before the shower turned on.

"There's some under the counter." Of course, Mello wouldn't hear him. Slipping off his seat, L went into the bathroom and opened the door under the sink to grab the extra bottle of medication. With a click, he set it against the clean sink counter.

Pulling the shower curtain to the side a little, Mello looked out at the older man sadly. "Wanna join?"

Looking at the bruises and marks along the teen's arm, L felt sickened. Mello shouldn't have gotten near drugs in the first place, and yet he was helpless to stop the blond. "No. I'm fine."

Swallowing hard, Mello yanked the curtain shut violently, tearing the cheap plastic from one of its hooks. Placing his hands against the cold tile walls, he let the steaming water run over his too-thin figure. Why did he even bother asking anymore? It was clear that L held no attraction to him anymore. What had once been a means of gaining attention and affection had now turned into an escape from the painful reality. Riding the waves of a drug-induced high or an alcohol-induced buzz, he could forget that things had completely fallen apart between them. In the arms of other people, he was free to re-live those pleasant days.

"What do you want for breakfast?" L tried, recognizing that Mello was angry.

"Nothing. I'm not hungry." _I just want you._

"Oh. I'll…be in the living room." _I miss you._

The hot water bit into his pale skin, the tan from years ago long absent due to his frivolous night life. His forearms were itching from the syringes' bites, but he ignored them. Grabbing L's soap, he lathered the strawberry splash concoction in his palms and ran it over his tainted body. In his attempts to outrun reality, he had ruined any chance of convincing L to love him again. How could L ever love a used up piece of trash like him? It was a destructive and never ending circle of fear and self-abuse that kept pushing him away from the only person he wanted to be close to.

"Why can't you love me?" he whispered to his hands as the suds ran down his body and into the drain. "Why can't I be loved?"

After the shower, Mello shuffled over to L awkwardly. His arse was hurting from what he assumed was a rough night and without his badass leather he felt like a child again. A needy child who just wanted to curl up with his lover. L was sitting on the couch, staring blankly out the window, so Mello invited himself on the couch and sat next to the older man. Feeling his heart beating more excitedly in his chest, he outstretched his trembling fingers and stroked them against L's ivory neck. Dark eyes shifted to glance at him, but they didn't betray any emotions. Like a dead fish's eyes.

"Why don't you put some clothes on?" L suggested, turning back to the window.

"They're all dirty," Mello sighed as he let his hand drop.

"I had that pile of leather on the floor cleaned yesterday."

It was true. His leather was lying neatly across the sofa across the room. Not wanting to move away from L, he just continued to sit there. It didn't matter that L was giving him a strange look. He was comfortable.

/_/_/_/

It had been a while since they had gone shopping together, but they were in desperate need of food, and L wanted to get it while he still had his eye on the teen. Still, Mello managed to attract quite a bit of attention in his flashy attire. Men and women would whisper behind their hands, allowing their filthy eyes to fondle his body. It pissed L off. Didn't they have any shame? It didn't help that they were living in Amsterdam, the most tolerant city in the world. Gay men were always hitting on Mello and L barely had enough time to fend off one jerk before another one would take his place.

Still, it was better to get food now. If he went to get it while Mello was out, who knew if he would miss the blonde's desperate bangs on the door? Or how could he hear the boy stumbling through the halls if he wasn't there?

"Grab some milk," L ordered as he went through the choices of cereal boxes.

"Sure."

Tossing his hair back, Mello strutted over to the dairy section looking for some chocolate milk. He enjoyed their rare outings as it reminded him of happier days. Days when they would hold hands and enjoy each other's company. Now it seemed like they could barely tolerate the other and there was a constant friction between them.

"What's up, bitch?"

Jerking his head up, Mello came eye-to-eye with a fellow party whore. The man was flashing his pearly whites seductively, obviously interested in getting into Mello's laced pants. "Oh. Hi, Neil."

"Aww, don't be cold, babe. Weren't you screaming my name just the other night?"

Mello glared at him. If he wasn't drunk or high, he could barely tolerate these idiots. "I don't scream anyone's name, ass. Don't flatter yourself."

"That's what you say now," Neil pushed, stepping closer and into Mello's personal bubble. "But I'll make you scream, cum slut. You like it nice and rough don't you? You just loved it when I was pounding your pretty little ass-"

"_Excuse _me," an irritated voice cut through.

Mello practically sighed in relief when he saw L standing there with a murderous glare. "Loyal."

"Oh, you know this punk?" Neil questioned, finally taking a step back.

L's eye twitched before he grabbed Mello's hand and began dragging him away without even gracing the younger man with a reply. Aquamarine eyes widened in surprise as L left his cart with food and insistently pulled Mello along until they were a good ways away from the store. Before he had a chance to voice his thanks, L turned on his heels and glared at him. "What was that?" he demanded harshly.

Stepping back, Mello blinked in confusion. "Huh? What do you mean?"

Seething, L stepped forward and shoved his forefinger into Mello's partially bared chest. "I mean, what the hell was that? Do you always let people talk down to you in such a crude way? That's who the bloody hell you sleep with when you're away?" L's fury was exceptionally clear as he slipped into his original British accent.

The words stung at Mello and he instinctively lashed back, his own British accent just as clear. "Oh, don't start acting like you care now! I'll hang out with whoever the hell I want to!"

"This is more than 'hanging out'! Y-you're leaving yourself _vulnerable _to tossers like that? Are they the ones cleaning up after your messes? Are they the ones waiting all hours of the night, praying that you haven't screwed up and landed yourself in jail?"

Tears welled in Mello's eyes at the harsh words. "So that's what this is all about? Me landing in jail? Me fucking up _your _life by getting us caught?"

L's anger withered as he saw the hurt in the teen's eyes. "No, that's not what I-"

"Well I'm just fucking sorry for being an inconvenience!" Mello screeched. "You won't have to worry about me, _ever _fucking again!"

Turning on his heel, Mello raced down the street, dodging pedestrians and other obstacles. L just stood in shock with his hand outstretched, as if he could snatch the boy and pull him back into a firm hug. He had just wanted to protect Mello, to make him see that he was anything but a cum slut. This was exactly why he didn't interfere, because he always managed to screw things up worse. Wiping away at unexpected hot tears, L made his way back to the apartment. Forget food, he needed to be there for when Mello decided to show up again.

/_/_/_/

He shouldn't have said such harsh things to L. Panting heavily as some faceless man fucked him from behind, Mello tried to think of the look on L's face. The dark-haired man had only been trying to look out for him, and he was right. All Mello did was come back a mess. Once L cleaned him up, he would go back out and get dirty again. Just like now.

"Ugh, harder," he croaked, an arm flailing around for the open bottle of booze.

It wasn't fair what he was doing to L. It wasn't fair to keep holding on when all L wanted was freedom and a new lover. What right did he have to interfere and say no? The man had never been his to own, his to love and cherish forever. He had been on borrowed time from the beginning, and it was hurting the both of them to continue it. So, he wasn't going to go back. Steeling his grip on the table in front of him, Mello felt the sob building up. He wasn't going to back to that apartment, back to L. This time, he would leave for good.

Mello couldn't even muster the energy to pretend he was aroused anymore and just cried as he was used for release. The memories of those happy days had been fading away, leaving him feeling hollow, as if it had all been a long dream and he was finally waking up. Days of waking up in the arms of the man he loved, sparring good-naturedly, learning to play the piano with those large arms protectively cocooning him. Fire water raced down his throat, a poor attempt at numbing the pain. With an unhappy grunt, he clenched his muscles to milk the man fucking him to completion.

"Besth pushy," the man slurred, falling back to the only spot unoccupied on the couch.

Straightening up, Mello looked around at the revelry around him. All the vices possible to mankind was present only an arm's length away and he could delve into any he chose. Then there was Neil, grinning like the devil himself. Sober arms trapped him against the table, and he couldn't muster the will to fight against it.

"Still think that I can't make you scream my name, bitch?"

"Hey, isn't it your turn to take it up the ass?" Mello snorted, loving the anger that clouded the other man's face. The angrier this guy was, the faster he would get off. He was not one for patience.

"Bend over."

/_/_/_/

Was it almost morning? Stumbling down the streets, Mello tried to force himself to keep his feet from racing home. He would not go back there, he wouldn't! But where could he go? There was no one that he trusted enough to stay with for a long period of time, but he couldn't just sleep in an alley. Could he? Wait, could he? Laughing, he ran into a pedestrian.

"Oh, 'scuse m-"

Before he could even finish his sentence, vomit was spewing out of his mouth and all over the unfortunate man. His laughter was turned to heaving and coughing and his trembling hand had a death-grip on the stranger's arm for support. Really, Mello was expecting to be pushed away in disgust, to be hit or yelled at. Anything but hugged.

"Hey, you don't look so good," the voice offered softly. "Come on, let's get you washed up, buddy."

So, it wasn't really a hug; more like the stranger was supporting him with both arms. Still, it was the closest thing to true affection that he had gotten in nearly a year and it was enough to make him cry. Sobbing like a little girl. The stranger merely spouted out comforting words and his strong arms never faltered. Mello could imagine that it was just L again, dragging him back into the house and trying to keep him from waking up the neighbors. L who would always wash the filth from his body, who would never mention the jizz or the bile. Not even piss bothered him. L who would dress his wounds and buy the aspirins and ice to ease his hangovers. L, who he would kill to have back.

It was a while before he became conscious enough to take in his surroundings. Sunlight was filtering through immaculate white mini-blinds and dancing happily across the plush carpet. Wiping his dry irritated eyes, Mello took in more of the room he currently inhabited. Didn't some random person pick him off the streets? Who in their right mind would take in a drunkard, especially when he had such a nice home to come back to? Looking down at the sheets, he immediately felt guilty. What had once been clean Egyptian linen was now smeared with his bodily fluids and blood. Blood? Lifting up a hand, he saw bandage that had been shoddily wrapped around his wrist down to his elbow. And there was gauze on his face. Maybe he ran into a brick wall again…

Voices caught his attention. Two guys were talking right outside of the room. Whoops, he intruded on roommates.

"Do you think that he's okay?" the first voice questioned without much inflection.

"I don't know. He might still be passed out."

Looking back down at himself, Mello felt a little bad for intruding on the lives of two well-meaning guys. He didn't deserve to be in such a nice place, taking advantage of a Good Samaritan. They had done enough. Rolling off the bed, the blond realized too late that he was in no condition to be walking around so soon. His vision swam and his knees buckled under his slight weight. Falling ungracefully, he managed to crash right into their bed stand, taking an expensive lamp down with him.

"Fuck!" he screeched as the shattering accessory made his ears ring and his hands sting with cuts.

"Oh shit, are you okay?" Footsteps were rushing around him and hands fretted over him like a mother hen. "Man, he got cut! Nate, can you get the first aid kit again?"

"Yes."

Those familiar hands grabbed his shoulders and pulled him away from the ruined lamp and back against a firm chest. "Here, let's get you further away from that mess, okay?"

"S-sorry," Mello muttered, helping the man get him away from the scene of the crime. His crime for destroying their personal property. "Yeah, uh, I should get going anyway."

"Dude, we're not letting you go anywhere."

Looking up at the electric blue eyes, Mello wondered why his heart did a little summersault. "Who're you to fucking stop-p-p me?"

The highly attractive face fell a little and the man looked disappointed. Unnaturally bright red hair got a little distracting as the sunlight lit it up like a halo around the man's face. "You don't…you don't know who I am?"

Rolling his eyes, Mello was praying that this guy wasn't one of his nerdy worshippers. "Look, if I slept with you at one point, it doesn't mean that I'm in love with you. Seriously, find yourself a girlfriend or something."

"Matt, I don't think that Mello's in any state of mind to remember much of anything."

All of a sudden, Mello's brain screeched to a halt. Jerking his eyes away from that crazy (and messy) hair and back to the beautiful face, he found his eyes widening. No bloody way. It was impossible, completely fucking impossible. The bright blue eyes sparkled in pleasure and an all-too-familiar crooked grin slowly curled on those smooth lips.

"M-mattie?" he choked, grasping the arms of the man that was holding him, a man who was actually no older than eighteen. "Mattie, is that you?"

"Mels!"

That was enough. A torrent of memories from Wammy's House flooded his mind, and he found himself sobbing in the arms of a long-lost friend. His best friend, in fact. Matt teared up as well, rocking back and forth the person he had never expected to see again. "Oh Mattie! H-how…n-no, I'm sorry, I…I…"

"Shhhh, shhhh, it's okay, Mels. You don't have to say anything. Just relax. Shhh…"

"I'm going to apply alcohol to the wounds, okay?"

Glancing for the first time at the other man, Mello did a double take. There was no mistaking the pale skin and white hair. "Near?" He glanced between them in confusion before bursting out with laughter. "No way, you guys are together?"

Matt blushed, but the smile never left his face. "Y-yeah, we're together. I mean, I know that you never liked him and all, but-"

"Hey, I'm not one to complain," Mello chuckled still trying to wrap his mind around that odd pairing. He would have never imagined those two hooking up! "After all, I'm the guy who-" The words died an instant death on his lips.

L.

Matt shared a worried look with Near before getting a better grip around Mello's body. "Hey, we can talk about that later. Right now you need a bath and some more patching up."

Nodding silently, Mello allowed the younger man to lift him up and carry him to the bathroom. In fact, he remained motionless and voiceless as Matt removed his clothing and bathed him. Like the bedroom, the bathroom was spotless. All of the tile was literally gleaming in the light, the two toothbrushes were standing at attention exactly three inches apart with the mouthwash a foot to the right and the tube of toothpaste five inches under it. The only splashes of color in the white bathroom were the toothbrushes and the fuzzy red mat beside the claw-footed bathtub. Near disappeared with the filthy clothes and came back with a pair of pajamas that had to have been Matt's. The little Goombas all over the material was a dead giveaway.

"You still wear pajamas?" Mello found himself muttering in disbelief.

"Yup. Sure do. When I'm not sleeping naked, you know."

Near slapped the currently redheaded man upside the head before stalking out muttering death threats. The whole scene was too bizarre and Mello couldn't help but laugh even harder. Was he in some twisted version of the Twilight Zone? Matt laughed along as he continued to shampoo the golden locks of hair.

/_/_/_/

It had been like a premonition. Sitting next to his telephone, all day long. Cellular phones had never tempted him much, so he had to remain stationary, seated neatly next to his landline. Misa had come in to offer her delicious pussy, and as if possessed by a spirit of chastity, he declined. Then Mikami came in concern and offered to be humiliated, but again, he was not even tempted. He needed to sit by the phone with nothing but his thoughts.

Both slaves stood by the bedroom door, watching him carefully and whispering their concerns. How could their Master deny them his passions? It was uncommon for him to break their carefully constructed schedule and even more so for nothing in particular. He did absolutely nothing but sit back with his legs crossed and a thoughtful expression. He wasn't even in any domineering get-ups either which was cause for further concern.

However, the spell was broken with a loud obnoxious ring. Conscious of looking too eager, Light allowed the phone to ring three times before lifting it off its cradle and delicately placing it against his ear.

"Hello?" There was silence on the other end for a moment before a sob and irregular breathing could be heard. It was as if the caller was trying to hide the fact that he was crying. Of course, Light knew exactly who was on the other end. "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"I-I'm…I'm at my wit's end," the voice hissed. Honey eyes could almost see the trembling man wiping at his eyes furiously, a habit he picked up due to his hating the feeling of liquid running down his face.

"Continue."

"I can't t-take it anymore. _Please_."

"Where?" Light questioned with an unconcerned lilt to his voice, hiding his pounding heart.

An address was spouted off before the connection went dead.

Setting the phone back on its cradle, Light looked at his two concerned slaves. "Mikami, Misa, I need you two to house-sit for a while. Master is going on a trip and will not need you two."

/_/_/_/

L heard the door clicking open, but he was too exhausted to get up. Besides, those weren't Mello's footsteps. They were too calculated, too even. Curled up on the couch, he couldn't even see his guest, though he could guess who it was.

"What a dump." The sound of grocery bags being set down preceded some more footsteps and then the young Asian man was standing before him in all of his pristine glory. "You look terrible."

"You have such a way with words," L shot back weakly.

"Ugh, do _I _have to cook?"

L nodded, knowing that he couldn't move if he wanted to. He was at his limit, but he still couldn't force himself to leave the apartment in the case that Mello would show up the moment he left. The world was a cruel place, and he wouldn't put it past fate to dish out such a horrendous circumstance.

"Well then. Don't complain or I'll kick your ass."

With a shaky smile, L nodded.

After a traditional Japanese meal, the older man felt a lot better and was even able to sit up again. Light was an exceptional cook thanks to his obsessive compulsive preciseness and patience, and L savored every chance he had to taste the exquisite food. It had been years since his tongue had sampled such a divine meal and he was almost moved to tears.

"Thank you, Light."

Sitting back against the only other piece of furniture in the living room, Light stared at the gaunt man in front of him. When the man had run off with the blond brat all those years ago, this was not the ending that he had in mind for them. L looked absolutely miserable and there was no sign of the boy. Not being one who danced around a subject, Light demanded answers. "So, where's Mello?"

L flinched at the name and stared at the door, wishing that the utterance of his name would bring Mello back. "He's…out."

"Out?" Light pushed. "As in, you kicked him out? Out for food? Out of your life?"

Swallowing thickly, L shook his head. There would be no way to explain what had really happened without relating everything. Sure, he could have come up with a condensed version of their "adventures" but at the same time he needed to vent. He needed to hear himself say those things, to remind himself that the happy times had really existed even if it had been for too short a period. So he talked. And once he got started, everything came spilling out. Everything that had been bottled up, everything that he had thought, felt, and said. His sins, his virtues. The tears were back as he related the rape, the near losses of Mello. Temptations, disgust, uncertainty, grief, agony.

Morning light shone through the window as silence settled between them. Not saying a word, Light stood up stiffly and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Pulling out all the stops, he created a full traditional Japanese breakfast and served it all without saying a word. Quite a feat if you were Light Yagami.

"I just don't know what to do," L sighed around a spoonful of rice.

Light raised an eyebrow. "Are you stupid?"

The simple statement was like a slap in the older man's face. "W-what?"

Leaning back, Light studied the man for a moment before replying. "When was the last time you fantasized about anyone other than Mello?"

Caught off guard with the question, L fumbled for a moment trying to remember when exactly was the last time he fantasized at all. "Uh, a year ago?"

"When was the last time you looked at any children?"

"About…a year ago. Where is this questioning going?"

"Just hear me out. Why did you start looking at other children in the first place?"

"Because he was…" Thinking back to all the events, L felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. "Because Mello mentioned that he was turning seventeen soon."

"Really? Interesting. So, you began lusting after other kids, jerking off to them, but only for a few months? And only after _he _mentioned that he was getting older?" Light almost looked bored, but L could see that he was trying to drive a point home.

"Yes. I mean, with Mello acting so strangely, I didn't have time to worry about anything but him."

"But why would you bother worrying about someone you don't love? Honestly, you've said that you expect him to leave and you even want him to. So why the hell are you still here? Why are you waiting for him to come back? Go get another piece of ass and be done with it."

L jumped to his feet in anger, furious that Light would speak about Mello in such a way. "'Another piece of ass'? After all that I've told you, you'd still speak of him in such a degrading way? I won't stand for it! Mello was _never _a piece of ass to me! He was different, special!"

"Yes, the key word being 'was', L. He's no longer special, so move on already."

"No!" L shouted without even thinking. "I can't move on, I can't! He needs me to be here, to clean up after him, to make sure that he eats, to clean up his leather, to…to…"

Light's eyes hardened. "To do _what_, L? Say it. Fucking say it!"

"I won't," L whispered, terrified of the word that might make it past his lips. "I can't, because if I do, he'll never be free. H-he'll never leave."

"So, you'll just hurt him, and torture him until he leaves?"

"Hurt him?"

"Do you think that your coldness was a kindness, Lawliet? Do you think that after years of doting and pouring affection on him you were doing a damn favor by pushing him away and pretending to be interested in other kids?"

"It was for the best," L tried to justify, but with Light screaming the truth at him he couldn't lie to himself anymore.

"Why do you think that he bothered to stay around as long as he did? Do you think he's a fucking masochist? Huh? Do you think that he _enjoyed _being ignored by you? Not being touched by you?"

"I…"

"Say it, Lawliet, you have to say it!"

"But I'm scared!"

Light almost looked guilty for a moment as he saw his friend utterly bare before him. The terror of making such an admittance was palpable in the air. For someone like L, who was surrounded by misfortune and pain, saying those words was like declaring a death sentence, dooming someone to anguish. His murdered parents, Beyond, Light, they all were hurt.

"You don't have a choice." His words were firm but gentle. There could be no other way. "You can stop his self-destructive habits by saying those words to him. That's all it would take."

"There's no way, it's impossible! He wouldn't-"

Jumping to his own feet, Light strode over to the trembling man and slapped him across the face, leaving an angry handprint. "Say it. Grow a pair, and say it!"

"I can't-"

"Say it!"

"But-"

"Fucking say it!"

Gently touching the tender skin, L stared at the floor. "I…I love him."

"Say it again. Louder!"

"I love him." Breathing deeply, he felt as if the weight of the past year and a half was dissolving, giving his tired shoulders a rest. There was no need to hide behind his pedophilic tendencies anymore. "I l-love him. I love him!" Wiping at his eyes furiously, L Lawliet stood to his full height and screamed at the top of his lungs. "I LOVE HIM!"

/_/_/_/

It was disgustingly sweet to see the two lovebirds flitting around. Grimacing, Mello watched as Matt hovered over Near while he was cooking. Near kept trying to shoo away the redhead, but he would stay there with this utterly stupid grin on his face. Mello stuck out his tongue even though no one was paying any attention to him. They were in their own little world. What he wouldn't give to be just like that. Matt leaned forward and kissed the pale boy's cheek and proceeded to giggle. Like a girl. Not even Near giggled.

Watching the two of them was comparable to watching a wreck happening. He couldn't tear his eyes away no matter how much he wanted to. They were so perfect. Finally giving into Matt, Near turned and allowed a lip-on-lip kiss. Very soon it turned to tongue-on-tongue kissing and hand-touching-inappropriately. Not wanting to witness sex on the kitchen counters, Mello coughed loudly and sent the two of them flying apart. Matt began laughing nervously and Near just shot him a dirty look.

"Matt, why don't you and Mello go buy some more celery?"

Mello shuddered at the mention of the vegetable. L never made him eat crap like that. "You guys eat _celery_?"

Matt shrugged as he moved to grab a dorky fur-lined vest. "It's not so bad if you slather it in peanut butter, or ranch dressing, or ketchup, or…" On and on he went with the various ways of choking down the damn plant Near forced him to eat.

As they walked to the small farmers' market not far from the apartment, Matt gave some more details about life in Wammy's House after he left. For the past two weeks the redhead had fed him the information slowly, as if he were afraid that it would overwhelm the blond. Thankfully, neither member of the lovey dovey couple felt the need to press him about what happened after he ran away. Near probably didn't care and Matt knew him well enough not to ask. Still, it was hard not to talk about it, especially to someone he trusted. Then again, how much could he trust in someone he really didn't get to know all those years ago? Matt had been underappreciated and taken for granted. He had always been there and had been willing to keep the strange loudmouth blond company. Even when he got teased, Matt would just offer that grin that would show off the gap between his two front teeth. Glancing at it more closely, Mello confirmed that the gap had closed off with the adult teeth.

"Mels, what the hell are you doing?"

"Just checking your teeth."

"My teeth? Wait, do I have something stuck in them? Are they yellow?"

Mello couldn't help but laugh at the worried man. "Come on, I was just seeing if the gap between your teeth went away."

"Ugh, that. Yeah, it went away when my new ones grew in."

Smiling at the fond memories, the blond couldn't help but chuckle. "Heh, L was scared of pulling teeth. He always said that it was a form of torture and he could not participate in it. Oh man, this one time I was eating pizza and then my tooth came out, so I just spat it up on my plate! Hell, he nearly fainted! That's just so like him!"

"Yeah, Roger always had the nurses do it for us," Matt added in casually, acting like Mello mentioning the "L" word wasn't a big deal.

"Oh yeah, and this one time-" Mello jerked to a halt, catching himself. All mirth drained from his face and he turned towards the street. "We're looking for celery, right?"

Frowning, Matt nodded. "Yeah, it's right up here."

Shopping went quietly, with Mello being extra conscious of everything he was saying, and Matt trying not to pry. Naturally, the conversation was turned back to Matt and Near.

"So why'd you decide to go flamin' redhead?"

Matt subconsciously reached up the stroke his unnatural hair. "Well, I don't really know. Maybe it's a big 'fuck you' to the status quo of Wammy's House, and maybe I did it because I didn't want people staring at Near's hair all the time and laughing at him. It's not his fault that it's like that."

There was another awkward pause as Matt paid for the offensive vegetable and they headed back to the apartment. Glancing at his friend, Matt didn't like seeing Mello look so down and out of it. When they were kids he was so alive, just bouncing off the walls. He was either passionately angry or hyper. There was no off switch until bedtime. Compared to that, he was like a zombie now. What could have happened to change him so drastically?

"Mello, what happened to you?"

Swallowing back all of the tears that wanted to spill out Mello focused on watching his feet. He didn't want to answer the question, but if he didn't then Matt would only worry more. An almost truth should suffice his curiosity. "L and I moved around a lot. I got lonely so I started partying."

"Lonely?" Matt tried, treading carefully.

"Yeah. Lonely."

When he didn't offer anymore, Matt let it slide. Mello obviously wasn't ready to spill the beans. Chewing his lip, the redhead thought up of an idea that would get Mello to cozy up to them. "Hey, do you want to go to a party with me and Near?"

"A party?" The idea didn't exactly thrill him as he thought back to his style of partying. The last thing he wanted them to see was him getting shit-faced and fucked. Literally.

"Come on, it'll be fun! There's this gay bar that we go to a lot and they're having a costume party! Please say yes, please?"

"Those darn puppy eyes!" the blond groaned while brushing some hair out of his face. Well, a costume party wasn't anywhere near his style of partying, so things were probably going to stay innocent enough. "Fine, fine, fine!"

"Awesome!"

With that, their night was decided.

/_/_/_/

"Um, oh my gawd. What are you wearing?"

Matt laughed at the slightly disturbed look on Mello's face as he took in the customized costume. Mello tried not to look away from the atrocity that his best friend was lovingly calling an outfit. Hot pants, a small vest, and cap made from PVC, all topped off with dorky goggles, a studded collar and an armband.

"Don't you recognize me?" Matt giggled, adding a few hip thrusts.

"Please take pity on my eyes, Matt. I'm gay, not desperate."

"Oh come on, you really don't recognize me? Really?"

"Not a clue."

"…"

"I'm serious! Who the hell are you?"

Sigh. "Hello, this is Hard Gay!" He outstretched his arms and spun around a few times. "Hoooooo!"

"…Who the hell is Hard Gay?"

Falling down dramatically, Matt placed his palm over his eyes as if he had fainted. "You don't know who Hard Gay is?"

"If I knew, I wouldn't waste time asking questions."

"Good point."

"He's a Japanese comedian who portrays a stereotypical American gay man," Near interrupted as he walked out in his own costume. A headband with little red devil horns was perched on his snowy head and a rather snug red thigh-high dress clung to his small frame. Before Mello could say anything, he shrugged his shoulders. "Being an angel is overrated. Besides, Matt likes me in drag."

"Sheesh, you're going to make Mr. Hard Gay over here, pun intended, hard."

"Already am," Matt stated casually.

"Dude, I really could have gone on without knowing that."

Turning away from the two of them, Mello examined his borrowed outfit. Imagining Matt in it made him snort in amusement. Alice in Wonderland. With his blond hair, it was almost a dream match. Only this Alice wore combat boots and black lace.

"Let's go," Near sighed impatiently attempting to use bodily force to get the two men to move. Matt just swept him off his feet and strode down the hall, leaving Mello to lock the door and trail behind them. A cab was called and they were off to this bar called Rab Yag.

During the ride, Near watched Mello carefully. Even though he never had much contact with the blond during their Wammy days, he could see the changes. Gone was the boy who was obsessed with his girlish beauty, gone was that air of superiority, and gone was the childish energy that had shone in his turquoise eyes. The only things that remained from his childhood were his ability to weep on the drop of a dime and his instability. Guarding his expression carefully, Near also examined Matt's interactions with the blond. In all honesty, he had been frightened when he saw Matt carrying the unconscious man into their apartment. It wasn't the fact that the both of them were covered in vomit or that Mello smelled of something ungodly. It was the fact that Mello was back. And he was scared of losing Matt to him.

"Here we are!" Matt exclaimed cheerfully as he stepped out of the taxi and helped the others out. Being the only one not wearing a dress, he was at an advantage.

Looking up at the place, Mello found himself nodding in approval. He had been expecting some tasteless flaming homo place with glitter and pink everywhere, but what he found was a tasteful establishment. The outside had a contemporary feel to it, topped off with an abstract sculpture in front of the glass doors. Gold-plated items accented the entire place, from door handles to the edges of the bar. It was well lit inside, but not too harsh. There were read barmaids who were dressed professionally, and they even had a well-dressed DJ. The air smelled clean and fresh and everyone inside was chatting happily, squealing about the beautiful costumes or the show that would be starting soon. Some random people screamed and ran towards Matt before all of them proceeded to do some strange dance revolving around the prominent hip-thrusting action.

"I take it, they all know who Hard Gay is?" he whispered to the emotionless boy next to him.

Near nodded. "Yes."

"Wow, you're as chatty as ever," Mello snorted. Near just glared at him. Honestly, what did Matt see in that white-haired kid?

Before he could add some more snide remarks, the rabid crowd turned on him, gushing over how absolutely _adorable _he was as Alice.

"Darling, that's just _sooooo _you!"

"Perfect!"

"Oh, Matty-kins, where did you find _this _one?"

"I want one just like him!"

Chuckling, Mello just let the weirdoes ohhh and ahhh while Matt beamed proudly and told them that Mello was indeed his best friend. Glancing back, the blond was surprised to see that even Near had his own following of gay friends. Amazing what a few years could do to a kid. Feeling the familiar pain clenching his chest, he shook his head. What a few years could do to a kid, indeed.

Deciding that he wasn't going to waste the night with dreary thoughts about L, he headed straight for the bar and ordered a chocolaty-vodka concoction. This was going to be a great night. A few shots later, and he was ready to hit the dance floor with Matt. Like old times, they fooled around, laughing and poking fun at each other. However, there was the addition of alcohol and a certain jealous looking Near.

"Hey, why don't you invite Near to dance with us?" Mello suggested, chuckling as the sheep boy glared at him again. Licking his lips, he slowly grinded against the redhead. Now, Near looked absolutely livid.

"Nah," Matt replied, grinding back shamelessly. "He doesn't like dancing at all."

"Fine with me. Just wanted to make sure that I wasn't replacing him or anything."

"Psh, you can't replace Near. Not to be mean or anything, but you're not my type at all. Near's way hotter."

"Hey, hey, no need to go that far," Mello teased as he turned around and rubbed his backside against the game-addict's crotch. "I'm a fine piece of ass."

"Yeah, your ass isn't so bad. It's your personality that sucks!"

Spinning around in Matt's arms, Mello couldn't help but laugh. His friend hadn't changed in all those years. He was still a brat and still so fucking loveable. Like a little puppy. It would chew your shoes and piss on the carpet, but at the end of the day when you could pet and cuddle with it all would be forgotten.

"At least I have better sense than to wear hot pants."

"Don't be a hater!"

After another hour of crazy dancing, the two teens joined Near at the bar in order to watch the catwalk show. This was where local wannabe designers would create different outfits to show off to the eager crowd. And who better to criticize fashion than a bunch of gay men?

"Here, you need to fill out this card, Mels," Matt informed as he handed out the comment card.

"Are you serious?"

"It's not that hard to voice your rather boisterous opinion," Near sneered as Matt moved to show off his costume to a few newcomers.

"Don't get your panties up in a bunch," Mello sighed. "I'm not looking to take Matt away. Besides, he doesn't like me in that way."

"Didn't look that way," the younger boy huffed as he took another drink of his water.

"Well, if you don't want me rubbing up against your boy-toy, you should get some balls and dance with him. He wants to, you know."

Glancing up from his drink, Near studied Mello's face. "D-do you mean it?"

"Yup." Mello was a little surprised to see the stone-faced Near blushing.

"He really…wants to dance with me?"

"Definitely."

The models began strutting across the stage in their outrageous get-ups and despite himself, Mello found that he was having a good time. Matt came back with some fruity drinks and they chatted and shared opinions about the outfits. Mello couldn't remember the last time he had felt so at peace or relaxed, and it was refreshing to enjoy drinks without looking to get smashed. No one was looking to fuck him (in public, at least), no one was offering drugs, and those qualities were rare in his experience. Rare enough for him to appreciate it.

But as expected, not all good things could last. As he was stretching out his back, Mello caught sight of Neil. Just seeing the man made him feel ill and he found himself trying to shrink back into the bar so that he wouldn't be seen. Of course, Matt noticed and began looking around. "What's the matter?" he mumbled, keeping his baby blues on the lookout for L.

"Ugh, it's just some guy I know. I don't want him seeing me."

"Oh, an old boyfriend?"

Calculating the risk of racing to the restroom, Mello brushed his hair out of his face. "No way, just a fuck. He's pretty insistent, though."

"What does he look like?"

"Brown hair up in a faux hawk, green eyes, about my height…he's the guy who just walked in!"

Matt's eyes caught the described man and his face paled instantly. Mello noticed and froze. "What? What? Is he looking this way?"

"Is that Neil?" Matt choked out. Near jerked his head away from the show and glanced over at the newcomer as well.

"Okay, now you're freaking me out. Yes, his name is Neil, but so what? Do you know him? Is a serial killer, or something?"

Near looked back at Mello with a pained expression. "Something like that."

"Come on, I think that we should leave before he sees you," Matt urged. Grabbing the confused and more than a little worried blond, the three of them slipped out of Rab Yag as quickly as possible.

/_/_/_/

Sitting in the clinic, Mello felt sick to his stomach. Teenage girls filled the seats around him and the only other guy was at the counter grabbing free condoms. Damn it all. Rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, he tried to shut out the sounds of nurses bustling about, of girls crying, of carts being wheeled around. There was a pile of magazines on the coffee table in front of him, but _Vogue _and _The National Enquirer _never did interest him. He could always read the gruesome pamphlets on abortion and emergency contraception, but he felt sick enough.

"Matthew Rivers?" Looking up, he saw the nurse smiling encouragingly at him. "The doctor is ready to speak with you."

Getting up on shaky legs, he walked past her and down the long cold hall. As each footstep echoed against the walls, Near and Matt's voices kept replaying in his head.

"_Shit Mello!" Matt cried, pacing in front of the couch._

"_Just tell me what's wrong!"_

_Near stopping picking at an imaginary spot on his dress and looked up at the confused and concerned blond. "Neil has AIDS."_

_The news was like a bucket of cold water to the face. His mouth dropped open and stared at their remorseful faces. "Th-that can't be, he…he s-sleeps around a-a-a lot."_

_Matt's face showed anger and disgust. "Yeah, he does, that ass. He doesn't care about infecting others."_

"_Did you use a condom?" Near asked quietly._

_There was no need to reply as the answer was written all over his horrified face._

Getting a rapid HIV test was the next logical step. Matt and Near drove him to the clinic and were outside waiting for him. They would have come in with him except for the fact that he was embarrassed and didn't want them there to see him so shaken up. It was bad enough that he had been taking advantage of their hospitality, and he didn't need their moral support. There was only one person who could give him what he needed and that person wasn't anywhere near him.

"Mr. Rivers?"

Looking up at the doctor, Mello found himself wishing for the first time in his life that he wasn't a genius, that he wasn't so perceptive. "It's positive," he heard himself stating.

"Look, there is a possibility that this is just a false positive. As with all positive rapid HIV tests, we need to take another blood sample and send it in for a secondary confirmation. The test is called ELISA, for short and it consists-"

"I don't care," Mello hissed, closing his eyes and holding himself. "Just take the damn blood and let me out of here."

"Sir, I know that this is hard for you, but there are groups that can help you deal with this. We have a detailed list of therapists who are specifically trained…"

/_/_/_/

With Light's help, tracking down Mello was a lot easier than L had anticipated. It was the benefits of being the son of a Chief of Police. Surprisingly, there were two ex-Wammy kids who were living in Amsterdam as well, and one of them was the bratty little kid who let them into the room all those years ago. Questioning neighbors, they soon found out that there was a blond currently living with the happy couple and that he had just shown up out of the blue three weeks ago.

"It has to be Mello," L murmured as he rocked on the balls of his feet.

"So, are you going to barge in and demand that they release your princess?" Light asked as he used the rearview mirror in his rented car to examine his face.

"Of course not. Well, maybe."

"Go get 'em, tiger."

"But what if he won't have me?" L sighed as he looked at his friend. His thumb was already bleeding, a testament to his frayed nerves.

"L, he wouldn't have hung around you as long as he did if he didn't have feelings for you."

"But I hurt him."

Adjusting the rear-view mirror back into its proper place, Light shot L a glance. "Am I going to have to physically remove you from this vehicle, Lawliet?"

"Fine. I'll go."

Checking both ways for approaching cars, L hopped out of the car and walked towards the apartment complex. He knew the room number by heart and had no trouble getting there. The only trouble he had was knocking. Staring at the simple white door with black numbers painted on, he could only stand there and scratch the back of his calf with a bare toe. Damn, he forgot to put shoes on; that wasn't exactly a good first impression for Mello's friend.

"Good lord! Do I have to do everything for you?"

Jumping back in surprise, L watched as Light knocked on the door. "Wait, why'd you come?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't do it," Light growled, flipping his hair back. "Besides, this is what friends do for each other, right?"

Smiling, L stroked Light's cheek affectionately. "Thank you."

The door clicked open and a young boy with white hair opened the door. "Can I help you?"

"Is Mello here?" L asked.

The boy stared at them suspiciously. "He went out about ten minutes ago. Can I take a message for him?"

Light rolled his eyes. "Listen, we were outside of this door for thirty minutes until this guy got his nerve and no one's left. Unless Mello climbed out a window, he's still in there."

"Please, I need to talk to him. Tell him my name is Loyal."

"Who's at the door, hon?" A redhead stepped in behind the pale boy and he did a double take. "Hey, it's the narcissist and pedophile."

"Matt!" L exclaimed, pushing Light back before he could say anything scathing. "I really need to talk to Mello. Can you let me in?"

"Um, actually, now's probably not a good time. He's a little under the weather."

"Under the weather?" Panic filled L. Now that he wasn't taking care of Mello, the blond fell sick. "Move!" Shoving past them, L raced into the apartment. Not seeing the teen in the living room, he raced down the hall. The bathroom light was open, so he kicked the door open. "Mello! Are you okay?"

Sitting in a bubble bath, the blond stared at him with eyes the size of saucers. "L?" he whispered, joy lighting up the turquoise eyes. Almost immediately, though, pain clouded them. "What the hell are you doing here?" he spat.

Dropping to his knees in front of the claw-footed tub, he snatched up Mello's sudsy hand. "Mello, I'm so sorry." Tears welled in his eyes as he looked up at the only person who had ever made him feel this way. "I love you, I love you so much that it hurts!"

Gasping, Mello tried not to cry yet again. He had done enough of that to last a life-time, but this was a special occasion. It was the only thing that he had wanted to hear. Unfortunately, he had to decline the sentiments. "Why couldn't you say so earlier?" he whispered, as the tears streaked down. "Why couldn't you want me earlier? It's too fucking late now!"

"What do you mean?" L pressed, not willing to just give up.

"No, I can't accept your f-feelings. I just can't!" _I'm filthy and ruined. I won't hurt you by saying yes._

"You don't have a choice, Mello, I'm not leaving without you!" Desperation was in his eyes, want and passionate affection. "I know that I was wrong, and I'm sorry! I'll do better, just come back with me."

"No!" Mello wailed. "It's not you, I'm so fucking dirty and I can't let you touch me! I c-can't! I'm so sorry, L!"

Overwhelmed with emotion, L leaned forward and pulled Mello into a tight hug. "Don't say that! You're not dirty at all, Mello. You're beautiful, perfect! There's nothing wrong with you!" _I'll never let you go again._

"Get off me!" His hands tried to shove the older man away, but L refused to budge. "You'll get sick too, you'll be hurt by me!"

"I don't care, I love you. I love you, Mello!"

"I have HIV!" he screeched, punching the man's flawless face. "I'm sick, infected, and you'll get it if you get near me!"

Nursing his swelling cheek, L stared at the panting boy. His slick chest was heaving and his eyes were red from crying. There were scars along his forearms and his skin was pallid from his self-neglect. Even his once shimmering hair was dull and lifeless. But for all his faults, all L could see was the angel he had swept away. Grabbing the back of Mello's neck, he pulled the teen into a teeth-clashing kiss.

"Noooo!" Mello screamed, trying to push L away.

Pulling back for a second to look into those eyes, L delved right back into those lips, tearing down Mello's defenses piece by piece. Hands clawed at his shoulders, but he only held the boy closer. Kiss after kiss, gentle stroke after gentle stroke. Rocking the teen in his arms, L managed to calm him down. His hand stroked back Mello's wet bangs before tracing around the cheekbones and down the straight nose to those quivering lips.

"You can't make me go, just accept it," L whispered, not caring that by this point he was soaking wet. "Mello, you could have the Ebola virus and it couldn't keep me away."

"B-but I don't want you to get it," Mello sobbed, holding tightly to the raven-haired man. "It's all my fault, and I sh-should suffer f-for it, but not you. Never you."

Wiping away the tears with his thumbs, the older man pressed a chaste kiss to those lips with a click. "Mello, I want you to listen to me, and listen well. When we get home, I'm going to make love to you. I'm going to love you so much that you'll never have doubts about me again. I'll use protection, I'll be careful, but I will never leave you again. I'll never hold back my touches. I'll never let you be lonely again."

Mello's lips trembled too badly for him to speak and grateful tears continued to spill out. _I love you so very much. _The same hands that had tried to force L away were now holding him close, seeking comfort. After a few minutes, he began chuckling and looked up with moist eyes. "W-what if I was taking a shit? You just kicked down the door!"

Laughing at the image in his head, L cradled the teen. "I'd have still gotten on my knees and proclaimed my undying love."

"Weirdo."

Standing outside of the bathroom, Light stepped out of the way to allow the boys to walk in if they wanted to. L did his part, and Light just made sure that there were no interruptions. Matt was crying and Near was on his tippy toes, somberly patting the messy red head.

/_/_/_/

"You know, I think that L.A.'s been growing on me."

Looking up from washing the dishes, Almost looked at Beyond. "Hunh? Why do you say that?"

Grinning widely, the dark-haired man tilted his head back to look at his docile little housewife. "Because its initials are of my two favorite people."

"L and A?" Looking up, it took him a few seconds before blushing madly and scrubbing the dishes with renewed vigor. "O-oh. Um, that's nice, er, good. Um, yeah."

"Let's live here for the rest of our lives, okay?"

Putting the last dish in the dish-rack, Almost walked over to his lover and cuddled next to him. "I'm fine with that."

Dipping his fingers into a jar of strawberry jam, he let his head rest on the brunette's shoulder. "Do you think that I'll see my Lawliet again?"

Almost kissed the top of Beyond's head. "Maybe. Since Quillsh Wammy went missing, no one else has really followed up on the hunt for you or your brother."

Grinning widely, Beyond swirled a finger in the gelatinous substance. "Yeah. Isn't it convenient that he went missing?"

"And right after you quit the murders," Almost murmured, stroking the wild raven locks. "By the way, it's been a year to the day since your last murder. Do you want to go out for dinner to celebrate?"

Chuckling darkly, Beyond smeared some of the jam across his lover's cheek. "Mnnn, not yet. We can do that in a few days."

"Okay."

_Standing over his handiwork, L gave a final bow to Wammy's House. Looking back down at the freshly dug grave he snickered. "Thanks for the good days, old man." A breeze blew past, making the rusted gate creak unhappily. "Too bad you didn't leave me and L alone. I love him, you know. Enough to kill. Kill you."_

_Scratching the back of his head with his dirt covered hands, Beyond scoffed. "You never tried to help me. I heard you tell him that I was broken. You weren't wrong, but you never bothered to try to fix me. Just because I wasn't like perfect Lawliet. That would have been fine; I would have been fine to be the broken one. Then you had to go and mess it up. You had to be mean to Lawliet, you had to convince him that he was sick because he would get fucked by me. _You _were the one who convinced him that he had a mental illness, that he was a pedophile!" _

_Pacing around, he tried to remember not to get too loud. "You made him live a lie, old man. And now, it's time to free him. I'll never let you say those things to him again and I'll never let him be locked away again. He's free now."_

_Dragging foliage over the freshly upturned soil, Beyond dusted off his hands and then hopped over the rusted fence. It was easier than when he had a body slung over his shoulder. "Time to get back to my fussy little lover. Hmm, what a beautiful day."_

_And maybe Lawliet wasn't the only one who was free now._

"It's a beautiful day," he whispered against the Italian's shoulder. "Let's fuck on the patio."

Smiling down, Almost nodded. He was beyond being embarrassed by almost anything. "Alright, Beyond."

/_/_/_/

Cheers rang around the bar as another glass was raised to the newly wedded couple. Mail pressed another open-mouthed kiss against his blushing bride, causing another round of cheering. Rab Yag was decked out in the most fashionable decorations complete with white roses, red runners, and a monogram of M&N shining down on the dance floor. Taking a deep breath, Nate took his husband's hand and led him to the dance floor to join the gyrating crowd. Beet red, he danced just like Mello taught him to. Caught by surprise, it only took the redhead a few seconds before he was shimmying around his bride and showing him all kinds of new moves.

"What's with the Furby?" Mello asked L as he stared at a Furby dressed in a white tuxedo and seated on a chair between the newlyweds' chairs.

L shrugged, laughing as Near tried to keep up with his overly excited husband. "I don't know. Maybe it's some new fad?"

Stepping off his barstool, Mello raised his eyebrows seductively and made his way to the dance floor. Grinning, L followed after his lover and took the offered hand. Not one who knew how to dance, L simply fell into a comfortable rhythm with his body up against the younger boy. Mello was swaying softly, not bothered by the hyped up crowd surrounding them. Thin fingers teased the small of his back and his own arms wrapped comfortably around the taller man's neck. L leaned in for a kiss, but Mello jerked back and shook his head.

"Sorry, I bit my tongue today."

"Oh. It's okay," L replied moving close enough to kiss the boy's cheek. "I love you."

Leaning against the older man's chest, Mello sighed contentedly. "I love you too. I always will."

"Me too. Forever and ever."

/_/_/_/

Dust floated in the air, visible to the naked eye as he traveled through the rays of sunshine filtering through the windows. There were no sounds in the house, only the dripping faucet in the barely used kitchen. Not even breathing could be heard. The dust danced for a moment before settling down with its brother on the old picture frame.

Two men with their fingers intertwined, holding each other as if they were inseparable.

More dust fell on top of the grand piano; only its ivory and ebony keys showing any use. Music would whisper out of it, trembling notes that would speak far more clearly than words ever could.

An empty bed, left untouched after the final cover had been pulled over.

Only one man sat on a cushioned chair, staring out the window. Sitting on the balls of his feet, and rocking slowly. Silence rang out as the pianist no longer felt the need to play, the tear shaped notes saturated into the walls. Scrapbooks rested next to the man with grayed hair, filled page after page with images and memories meticulously placed in order. Nothing missing save for one unhappy year…

…and one final night.

_~Fin~_

_

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_**Author's Notes: Sorry for the lateness, especially to Kyoko Keehl. I would have had this up last week, but the ending did not want to work with me. So here you go! I hope that you have enjoyed reading this. Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, faved, and alerted! I hope that this lived up to your expectations (or maybe exceeded them).**_  
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